[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)

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Just hear those noses snifflin'
Sore throats ticklin' too
Come on it's lousy weather
To be sufferin' inside with the flu
Outside the snow is fallin'
Your fever's at 102
Let's take some Alka-Seltzer
And a box of antihistamines too
We'll bring some Kleenex with us
And sing a chorus or two
Let's let my red nose lead us
In a sleigh ride in spite of the flu
Hack it up hack it up fling it up let's go
Phlegm chunks in the snow
We're coughing up a yellow and green rainbow
Cough it up cough it up cough it up oh man
There's some on my hand
My glands are puffed and swollen
And every hour I pee
My throat's as rough as leather
And raspy as it can be
Let's take some Kleenex with us
And sing a carol or two
We'll make our noses redder
On the sleigh ride
To go with the flu
My kid came home from preschool with a cough today
He'll infect the whole darn neighborhood in about a day
Well be calling in sick to work until the diarrhea stops
At the pharmacy we'll get lots more pills to pop
Pop pop pop
I took every medication I can legally buy
For coughing sneezing sniffling and the watery eyes
I'll be gettin' real drunk on NyQuil
I'll take Contac 'till I'm high
This wonderful buzz is great
But I'm glad I don't have to drive
Just hear those noses snifflin'
Sore throats ticklin' too
Come on it's lousy weather
To be sufferin' inside with the flu
Outside the snow is fallin'
Your fever's at 102
Come on it's lousy weather
For a flu ride together with you 

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!

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THE COMICS

a blow up christmas
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whoa
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We're giving away a limited number of FREE LG Voyager Phones!
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Santa meets the L.A.P.D.
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies887.html
 
politically correct xmas by Larry the cable guy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies888.html
 
 
 
 
 
 
summertime fun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies894.html

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"My wife caught a Peeping Tom last night, and she'd
have killed him if we hadn't stopped her."
"He must have made her very angry, peeking at her, huh?"
"No, that's not what made her the maddest."
"It's not?"
"No, she got mad when he reached in the window and closed the
curtains."
_______________
 
An atheist complained to a friend, "Christians
have their special holidays, such as Christmas
and Easter; and Jews celebrate their holidays,
such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have
their holidays.  EVERY religion has its holidays.
But we atheists," he said, "have no recognized
national holidays.  It's an unfair discrimination."
His friend replied, "Well, why don't you celebrate
April first?"
__________________
 
Jake is 5 and learning to read.  He points at a picture in a zoo book
and says, "Look Mama! It's a frickin' elephant!"
Deep breath ... "What did you call it?"
"It's a frickin' elephant, Mama!  It says so on the picture!"
and so it does ..." A f r i c a n  Elephant  "
____________
 
Q: How can you avoid spotting a wrinkle every time you
   walk by a mirror?
A: The next time you're in front of a mirror, take off
   your glasses.
 
Why do they call it the Department of Interior when
they are in charge of everything outdoors?
 
Attorney: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Witness:  Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
 
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year
   old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.
_____________

BUFFALOS
Movies
 
 
 
 
 
 
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How To Tell
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________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman




 

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