[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

 
 
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THE TRADITION OF MISTLE TOE
You can call it the emasculator of the old king, a sexual symbol,
latent with fertility or a good luck charm for a dairy herd. It's been used as an antidote for poison, a fire suppressant, a protection against evil spirits,
a pain reliever for rheumatoid arthritis and as a gift of peace between warring neighbors. This parasitic shrub with sticky white berries has somehow shrugged off its shady past to
become a tradition of our Christmas. But this is, after all, a season of myth, legend, and make believe.Today mistletoe, while not exactly decking our halls, is hung over doorways to entice a couple to exchange a kiss. And we have forgotten even the meaning of its name.The name is perhaps derived from the ancient belief that mistletoe was
propagated from bird droppings, a belief related to the then-accepted principle that life could spring spontaneously from dung. It was observed in ancient times that mistletoe would often appear on a branch or twig where birds had left droppings. "Mistel" is one of the Anglo-Saxon words for "dung," and "tan" is "twig". So, mistletoe means "dung-on-a-twig". Not a name that would normally encourage thoughts
of romance.Kissing under the mistletoe was practiced in the Greek festival of Saturnalia to bestow fertility and the dung from which the mistletoe was thought to arise was honoured for its life-giving power. From the earliest times mistletoe has been one of the most magical, mysterious, and sacred plants of European folklore. Scandivanians enjoy kissing under the mistletoe. In earlier days they associated mistletoe with their goddess Freya and the part it played in the death of her son,
Baldur the Beautiful. Once Baldur had a dream of his own death and, frantic in her anxiety, Freya asked all things, living and dead, not to harm him. She was given this promise by everything in the elements, but the mistletoe, a parasite, was no part of air or earth. Alas ! It was overlooked ! Loki the Trickster soon discovered this, and made an arrow
from the little shrub. He tricked poor blind Bod into shooting the arrow at Baldur - with the inevitable result. The mistletoe grieved for its part in the tragedy, weeping until its red berries turned pale, and Freya forgave the plant with a kiss. Vikings used a branch to betoken peace.
Mistletoe is especially interesting botanically because it's a partial parasite. French tradition tells us that mistletoe is poisonous because it was growing on a tree that was used to make the cross of Jesus. Because of this, it was cursed and denied a place to live and grow on earth, doomed forever to be a parasite.The mistletoe of the sacred oak was especially sacred to the ancient Celtic Druids. The ritual of cutting the mistletoe symbolised the emasculation of the old King by his successor. Mistletoe was long regarded as both a sexual symbol and the "soul" of the oak.
It was gathered at both mid-summer and winter solstices, and the custom of using mistletoe to decorate houses at Christmas is a survival of this tradition.In medieval times branches of mistletoe were hung from ceilings to ward off evil spirits and placed over house and stable doors to prevent the entrance of witches. Farmers would give the Christmas bunch of mistletoe to the first cow that calved in the New Year thus bringing good luck to the entire herd. Mistletoe is also believed to lower blood pressure, improve circulation and relieve the pain of rheumatoid arthritis although these effects have not been scientifically validated. In some alternative medicine therapies, mistletoe is used as long-term therapy to prevent hardening of the arteries. If you hang up mistletoe this Christmas,
please follow the correct etiquette: a man should pluck a berry when he kisses a woman under the mistletoe, and when the last berry is gone, there should be no more kissing ! Remember that an unmarried woman not kissed under the branch will remain single for another year, and always burn the Christmas mistletoe on the twelfth night lest all the
couples who kissed under it never marry.Come, kiss me under the dung-on-a-twig and raise your glass to mistletoe and a Merry Christmas!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________

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The day after Christmas....
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THE COMICS

reverse
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the reality of Christmas for some
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what do they want for Christmas?
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I take it back
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______________________

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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

merry Christmas Mr Bean
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12 days of Christmas
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================================================

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The choir director selected the 6-year-old little boy with the sweetest
face for the opening scene of the Christmas play. "Now, all you have to do,
when you hear me say to the choir '...and
the angel lit the candle', is come on stage and light all the candles."
"I can do it, I can do it!" the little boy said, excitedly.
Rehearsals came and went, and finally the big night arrived. The choir was ready, the stage was beautifully decorated with dozens of unlit candles all around, and all awaited the moment when the cute littlest angel would make his entrance. The director gave the downbeat, the orchestra began to play, and the choir swept into the introductory lines, ending with an expectant "...and the angel lit the candle" Everyone looked stage right for the entrance.
No little boy.
The director gave the downbeat again, and more loudly said, "...
and the angel lit the candle" Again, all eyes looked stage right.
No little boy.
The director, beginning to sweat, motioned with great, sweeping gestures,
and this time the choir thundered into the line. So loud were they that the
curtains belled slightly from the sound!
"...AND THE ANGEL LIT THE CANDLE!"
And into the silence which followed came a clear, boy-soprano voice floating piercingly from stage right "...and the cat peed on the matches!"
______________
 
Dear Darling Son and That Person You Married,
Merry Christmas to you, and please don't worry. I'm just fine
considering I can't breathe or eat. The important thing is that you
have a nice holiday, thousands of miles away from your ailing mother.
I've sent along my last ten dollars in this card, which I hope you'll
spend on my grandchildren. God knows their mother never
buys them anything nice. They look so thin in their pictures, poor babies.
Thank you so much for the Christmas flowers, dear boy. I put them
in the freezer so they'll stay fresh for my grave. Which reminds
me -- we buried Grandma last week. I know she died years ago,
but I got to yearning for a good funeral so Aunt Viola and I dug
her up and had the services all over again. I would have
invited you, but I know that woman you live with would have never let you come. I bet she's never even watched that videotape of my hemorrhoid surgery, has she? Well son, it's time for me to crawl off to bed now. I lost my cane beating off muggers last week, but don't you worry about me.
I'm also getting used to the cold since they turned
my heat off and am grateful because the frost on my bed numbs the constant pain. Now don't you even think about sending any more money,
because I know you need it for those expensive family
vacations you take every year.
Give my love to my darling grandbabies and my regards
to whatever-her-name-is -- the one with the black roots who
stole you screaming from my bosom.
Merry Christmas.
Love, Mom
____________________
 
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have
married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married
you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
______________
 
What's the difference between wives and secretaries?
Secretaries get a little behind at work, wives get a big
behind at home.
______________
 
After three years of marriage, Kim was still questioning
her husband about his lurid past. "C'mon, tell me," she
asked for the thousandth time, "how many women have you
slept with?" "Baby," he protested, "if I told you, you'd throw a fit."
Kim promised she wouldn't get angry, and convinced her
hubby to tell her. "Okay," he said, "One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven - then there's you - nine, ten, 11, 12, 13....."
I've never slept with a woman...They keep me awake all night !
________________
 
An old redneck woman in the West Virginia hills received
a letter from her grandniece, who'd gone off to the big
city to seek her fortune. Puzzled by the writing and the
contents, she read to her husband, "Betty Jo says here
that she's got herself a job in a ...a ... a ... well,
it must be a 'Message' parlour."
"I reckon city folks must leave word there for their
neighbors and kinfolk. Them not having back fences and
all," her husband said.
"Does Betty Jo say how much they's a payin' her?"
"Well, that's the part I can't make out. For the life
of me, Paw, she says she gets some $35 for a hand
delivered message and $60 if she *blows* it to them!"
 
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman


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