welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
__________________
THE FUNNY PAPERS
Grand ma said
gimme all your money
Wendys
on the way home
at the liqour store
your job sucks
the instruction manual
the directory
split ways here
a small crack
in old age
starved
embarrased
cat fell in the pool
maybe its maybelline
___________________
JOKES
a tried and trusted employee of yours
the rattlesnake farm
the car had 250,000 miles on it
a safari in Africa
drinking too much coffee
takes considerable time and technique
It just so happens that Princess Di and Dolly Parton make it to the
gates of Heaven on the same day.Saint Peter meets them at the gates
and tells them that there is only one opening to be had so they needed to
give their best reason why they should be admitted to Heaven..
Dolly opens her shirt to reveal her magnificent breasts and tells Saint Peter
Dolly opens her shirt to reveal her magnificent breasts and tells Saint Peter
to take a good look."Have you ever seen such a marvelous sight as these that
God gave me? Surely these alone should be reason enough to admit me through
these gates".Princess Di just pulls out a bottle of seltzer water, shakes it, shoves
it up her privates and lets fly with the foaming water.
Saint Peter opens the gates and directs Princess Di to enter.
Dolly is incensed and says to Saint Peter "How could you let her enter???
Saint Peter opens the gates and directs Princess Di to enter.
Dolly is incensed and says to Saint Peter "How could you let her enter???
I show you these marvelous breasts and she does an obscene act yet you let her enter before me?".
"Sorry Dolly," says Saint Peter "but you know that a Royal Flush beats a pair any day".
"Sorry Dolly," says Saint Peter "but you know that a Royal Flush beats a pair any day".
the flash of a camera
husband and wife are shopping
what are they for
do you smoke
the most functional word in the English language
While hiking in the countryside
The witness replied that he was a lawyer.
I will grant you three wishes
A farmer was out on his Welsh hillside tending his flock
____________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Johns Farm Silos Collapse! Feb2018
Jeff Sessions Farewell Cold Open - SNL
The Dunkin' Donuts drive thru
The Dunkin' Donuts drive thru
10 Stupid Lottery Winners
Laurel & Hardy - "I'm Better Now!"
Brothers - SNL
7 Fascinating Facts About The Old West
Live PD: Stealing A Stolen Phone
Embarrassing Phone Calls in Public PRANK
''Hallelujah'' chorus, from Händel's Messiah - Mormon Tabernacle Choir
______________________
A concerned patient asked the doctor if masturbation is harmful..
"Not usually," answered the doctor. "Not unless you do it too often."
"How about three times a day?" the patient asked..
"That seems a little excessive. Why don't you get a girlfriend?"
"Oh,... I already have a girlfriend," the patient replied.
"I mean a girl you can live with and have sex with?" asked the doctor.
The patient said, "I've got one just like that!"
So the doctor asked, "Then why do you masturbate three times a day?"
"Because... she won't have sex during mealtimes!"
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
a break up
a tampon wrapper
on the cow...
breakfast
historical marker
dear Santa
the human population
rhetorical
driving in snow
my gummy bear
warning
you shall not
Chinese
thought of the day
dog houses
I'll tell you a short poem; I'll try to make it quick.
You might think it quite harmless; You might well find it sick.
The subject is quite simple: The joy of having a dick.
Penises are super things; You ladies should be jealous.
Ever since the early days, When it was small and hairless;
I've looked upon that bit of flesh, As something very precious.
It starts to grow dramatically, When you're about thirteen.
Your testicles on either side; Your willy in between.
When erect it's quite a sight; A purple love machine.
It dangles neatly down below; Obedient and loyal.
Its seeds are hidden well within; Awaiting some fresh soil.
At the slightest hint of lust, It's ready to uncoil.
It has a mind all of its own; It's like a wild beast.
It squirms and writhes and stretches out; When you expect it least.
You can't control its energy; You must wait 'til it's ceased.
Handle it with love and care; For it can give great pleasure.
Has it grown since last weekend? And when did you last measure?
Still, no matter what its length; It's something you should treasure.
Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves; Erecting when it shouldn't.
A bumpy train ride sets it off; Just when you wish it wouldn't.
Did that lady notice it? You blush and hope she couldn't.
Some people fret about its size; They give it lots of thought.
Is seven inches long enough? It makes blokes quite distraught.
They peek across in public loose, And try not to get caught.
Masturbating is a sin; That's what some folk believe.
But those are just old wives' tales; Outdated and naive.
And if you're feeling tense or stressed, A quick wank does relieve.
Without this fabulous device, No shag would be complete.
Lesbians will try their best; But must admit defeat.
And what a handy tool it is, When one needs to excrete.
The penis is quite marvelous; It has so many uses.
For women it is special too; Excitement it induces.
And babies can be procreated, From its sperm-filled juices.
And always it remains with you; Until you're old and frail.
Don't take it out in public though, Or you'll be thrown in jail.
Just look at it and feel proud; And thank the lord you're male.
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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