to desire is to obtain
to aspire is to achieve
James Allen
welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
This is what we call "inbe" weather here
in beautiful West Michigan. It is too soon
to turn on the furnace, too cold for the ac.
In between weather. But if you are a football fan
for high school foot ball, it is probably not the
greatest. Looks a little wet and miserable out
there. At least Turk the dog aka Carlos the rat
is not really crazy right now for going "outside.",which
is an event he usually looks forward to.
This weather makes you want to curl up on the sofa with
the mutt and the old lady, right? Just that I dun
wanna ask her if I am the mutt or if Turk the dog is,
Might not like the answer! So with us laying back and taking
life easy,we spent most of the day yesterday just watching old
episodes of Blue Bloods. We have plenty of old
shows recorded on the dvr to keep us occupied.
And it is still a pleasure after over 40 years to still
snuggle up with her with a comforter on the love seat.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________________
MEMES N TOONS
Miss Piggy
do planes crash
compliment a donkey
winter is coming
you must identify
please God cure my hangover
milk drunk
show your girl something funny
when I get married
good at sucking dick
long legs and big boobs
you are both ugly
warming up your dinner
the weekend forecast
the Easter bunny
___________________________
JOKES
not without a condom
while browsing in a souvenir shop
things you can suck
blowing the dog
where are you from
darling you were wonderful
young man was staying on a farm with uncle
escape from the insane asylum
dead on arrival at the hospital
rattlesnakes and golf
You know you're a true MICHIGANDER when.............
1. "Vacation" means going up north on I-75.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard,
without flinching.
6. You see people wearing fall formal wear = camouflage at social events
(including weddings).
7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
An old blacksmith realized he was going to have to quit working so hard.
So, he picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice.
The old fellow was crabby and exacting.
"Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the young apprentice. "Just
do whatever I tell you to do."
One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on
the anvil.
"Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real
good and hard."Nod. . . . . . .
Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.
Q. What do you get when you cross a pig with a centipede?
A. Bacon and legs.
Q. What's a cat's favorite breakfast?
A. Mice Krispies.
Q. What do whales like to chew?
A. Blubber gum.
Q. How does a lion like his steak?
A. Medium roar.
Q. What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
A. French flies.
Q. What do cat's like on their hot dogs?
A. Mouse-tard.
Q. Why would someone in jail like to catch the measles?
A. So he could break out.
___________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
How Ice Ages Happen: The Milankovitch Cycles
America's Funniest Home Videos
Wile E. Coyote: 80 explosions in 11 minutes
Spy Tortoise Adopted by Chimpanzee
When Antarctica Was Green
The Mystery Of The Pyramids:
10 Mysterious Places On Earth Scientists Are Still Trying To Understand
The Art of Fishing With Birds
The Amazon's Boiling River Kills Anything That Enters
'We need to eat the babies' says woman to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
__________________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
when a man opens the door
my boss hates it
say what you will about women
girlfriend caught me
you don't have to be crazy
as long as my boss pretends
clean and sober
sex and love
lesson learned
being married
friends are like condoms
most stress is caused by
my goal this weekend
this weekend's forecast
I am responsible for what I say
__._,_.___
Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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