welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
____________________
MEMES N TOONS
wait a minute
signs
off the island
chameleons
the right to remain silent
all I wanted
look at that
flush the toilet
car wash
for pet owners
the cat did it
snorting coke
Alexa
I'm forgetful
keeping an eye on her
_________________
JOKES
short ones
Ted was lazy
what we put in our stomachs
never let your husband see you in the nude
you don't want to hear during surgery
growing up as a kid
lady walks into a dentists office
lover's lane
can my momma get pregnant
odss of ten to one
In a medieval castle lived a king, who with no TV or L games to watch,
was becoming bored. So after dinner one night he decided to hold a
contest to see who at the court had the mightiest "weapon".
After the contest was announced the first knight stood up and proclaimed
that he had the mightiest weapon... proceeded to pull down his pants and
tied a 5 pound weight around it, and his weapon doth rose.
The crowds cheered...the women swooned...the children waved colored
banners... and the band played appropriate music.
Another knight stood up and yelled that he had the mightiest weapon. He
dropped his pants and tied a 10 pound weight to himself. The weapon doth
rose. The crowds cheered...the women did swoon while peeking through
their veils...the children waved multi-colored banners... and the band
played joyous music.
After several more knights attempted to prove their superiority...the
King finally spoke out.
"I have the mightiest weapon of them all!" He dropped his pants and
tied, not a 10 pound, not a 20 pound, not ever a thirty pound, but a 40
pound weight to himself. And his weapon doth rose. The crowds
cheered...the women screamed, shouted, swooned and passed out from
desire...the children waved many colored banners and the band played -
-"God Save the Queen."
A young nun at a convent had one too many sexual indiscretions, and
turned up pregnant. Scared, she told no one of this, and was thankful
that the order she belonged to wore loose, floor-length habits that
would keep her secret safe, possibly right up until the birth. And so it
did, and upon the evening when the contractions started, she rushed down
into the basement, hoping that no one would hear either her own moaning,
or the cries of the newborn child. After the birth, panic set in; she
didn't know WHAT she should do with the baby. If she were found with the
child, she would be thrown out of the order, with no place for food or
shelter. Knowing that the Mother Superior was a wise woman, and also
having no other options, she placed the baby in a basket, and quietly
crept into the sleeping Mother's room in the pre-dawn hours. She left
the baby, and silently exited the sleeping chambers. At sunrise, the Mo
ther Superior awakened, and heard the baby as it was just waking from a
nap. She quickly looked over the side of her bed, at the child in the
basket, fell back in her bed with a sorrowful look, and dejectedly
sighed, "Oh, God! You can't even trust your own finger any more!"
Billy Bob: My grandfather lived to be 90.
Jim Bob: Ninety? What finally got him?
Billy Bob: Liquor and women.
Jim Bob: That shows they'll get you in the end.
Billy Bob: No -- he couldn't get either one, so he just laid down and
died.
Secretary: "Pastor, we've got a problem in the computer lab where you
met with the confirmation class last week. Some of the boys in the class
started messing with the mouse."
Pastor: "What?!?" (thinking: we've got mice in there!?)
Secretary: "Yeah, it seems some of the boys removed their balls."
Pastor (incredulously...): "Th..th...they did what??? How in the world
did they do that???"
Secretary: "They must have used a screwdriver or something."
Pastor: "We've got some pretty sick boys... I... I... didn't even
realize mice had balls...!"
Secretary: "Yeah, they roll around on 'em all the time!"
Pastor: "What???" (still thinking of the little fury real animals)
"Well...what can *we* do?"
Secretary: "I guess we'll have to put 'em back on..."
Pastor: "WHAT?!?"
Secretary: "Hmmm....Pastor, are we talking about the same thing.....?!"
___________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Judge Judy living life to the fullest
The Most Outrageous Game Show Moments
Kramer's Entrance
Craziest People In Airports And On Planes!
Best Mllitary Fails Compilation
Stupid Women Drivers
WWII Japanese Coast Ships Aerial Attacks GunCam
A Doomed Aircraft Is Left to Fly Until it Runs Out of Fuel
10 Funny Commercials
Hiroshima: Dropping The Bomb - Hiroshima - BBC
______________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
size really matters
free
I look good
drop it off at the gym
rough road
irony
to err is human
the new midnight
at my funeral
so poor
stole wife
growing up in the sixties
choked on an appleseed
at Walmart
a spree
__._,_.___
Posted by: "Martin a.k.a. the postman" <martin7957@yahoo.com>
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