"Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect."
-Benny Hill (1924-1992)
WELCOME TO:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
HELLO POSTMAN FANS!
So you got yesterdays issue of my new ezine, THE POSTMAN, right?
Yep its new. Doesn't replace THE POSTMAN'S CORNER I am going to
keep on pumpin it out every morning just like always. THE POSTMAN
is going to be the real flagship of the operation. You should have gotten
your first issue of it yesterday. If you did NOT get THE POSTMAN, let me
know and I shall add you to it. They each have different jokes and cartoons,
so you will want to have both of them in your mailbox!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________________
MEMES N TOONS
Thor
Redneck yacht club
2 hrs for makeup
the truth of saggy pants
stay alive
the kittys revenge
little boys run faster
what were you doing
don't know what it is
do you use drugs
having babies
everyone wants a dog
bad kitty
during meetings at work
when your broke
__________________
JOKES
the pope
her new proctologist
at the gates of heaven
the coyote
q and a
a marine in London
late for work
really really drunk
Two safari guides in Africa were having a drink on the veranda and
watching the sun go down when they became engaged in an argument over
which was the better guide. Since each simply refused to believe the
other's hunting stories they were unable to resolve the dispute
themselves. They decided the only way to decide was to hunt the very
next day and the first of them to kill a lion would win the distinction.
A bet was also made that the loser must buy the winner a pint of his
favorite whisky. At dawn the next morning one hunter was off with his
bearers, beaters, Land Rovers, and all of the other equipment needed for
a successful hunt. All this while the other hunter was sitting on the
veranda, his feet up on the railing, watching the hunters leave and
drinking his morning coffee.
The hunter on safari hunted high and low all day and just before dark
finally was able to surround a lion with his native hunters and beaters.
As the circle became tighter and tighter the lion finally broke cover
and ran into the open. The hunter drew a careful bead on the lion and
just as he was about to squeeze off the killing shot, the other hunter
suddenly swooped over the hunting site in an airplane, pulled out a
machine gun and shot and killed the lion thus winning the bet.
The hunter on the ground was outraged. Back at the lodge he confronted
the other hunter about his poor sportsmanship and his lack of honor to
the spirit of the challenge. When asked to explain himself the winner
said "I don't understand why you are so upset. I thought everybody knows
the shortest distance between two pints is a strafed lion."
A woman is in her doctor's office, and suddenly
shouts out, "Doctor, kiss me." The Doctor looks
at her and says that it would be against his code
of ethics to kiss her.
About 20 minutes later the woman again shouts
out, "Doctor, please, kiss me just once." Again,
he refuses, apologetically, but says that as a
doctor he simply cannot kiss her.
Finally, another 15 minutes pass, and the woman
pleads with the doctor; "Doctor, Doctor, please
kiss me just once!!"
"Look" he says, "I am sorry. I just CANNOT kiss you.
In fact, I probably shouldn't even be screwing you!"
A magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two kids into armchairs.
He started to panic and thought to himself, "What on earth have I done?"
He began to ponder, "How am I going to bring back my beloved family?"
So, he thought for a while and decided a good idea was to take them to a
hospital and see if the surgeon could operate and bring them back.
He loaded them into his van and off he rushed to the local hospital.
He walked up and down the hospital hall and after some serious surgery,
he asks the doctor, "Doc, how are they?"
The doctor replied, "Comfortable!"
__________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet - Bachman Turner Overdrive
Conan Makes NYC Pizza - CONAN on TBS
Funny Motorcycle FAIL & WIN
West England
Conan Becomes A Security Guard
WINS AT WORK - INGENIOUS WORKERS
USS Oriskany Sunk and becomes Artificial Reef
Dog Reviews Food With Girlfriend
TOP 5 POLICE CHASE 2019
Live PD: Talking Herself Into Cuffs
_______________________
A LITTLE BIT OF HUMOR
Goodyears
never went to jail
what can I say
feeling crappy
ah ha moments
just found out
smile at strangers
should have married the devil
went to the psychiatrist
my doctor said
give them your phone
come forth
the science fair
unsinkable
__._,_.___
Posted by: martin7957@yahoo.com
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