welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
Good morning postman fans!
I can't tell you the number of people who write to me each week, asking
the same question, Martin, how can I make money online? Well, I am no
online guru, but through the years as publisher of this little venture, I have learned a
couple of things. First, I wish I had someone who would have been able to point the
way for me. and if I can make one suggestion for you...let me point you in this direction
if you are one of those who wants to reach beyond the daily work a day world...
Are You Sick of Working Paycheck to Paycheck? Can You Afford to Retire?
Ready for your
D R E A M L I F E?
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* Be your own boss!
* Earn a six figure income!
* Take vacations when you want!
* Retire early!
http://www.tinyurl.
and more specifically, why don't you send for this FREE KIT?
Earn $1,000,000's in ONLINE JEWELRY BUSINESS
1) Instant Website Name
2) Turn Key Jewelry Business
3) Real-time Tracking of Your Sales
START YOUR BUSINESS AND GET YourBusinessName.
http://www.tinyurl.
hey you know what? my birthday is coming up soon, I think I know what I want,
for a present....a new printer:)
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Hooters Restaurants announced yesterday that expansion was planned for the
major restaurant chain. Spokesmen say the new move is being planned to target
a new segment of the population.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
THE COMICS!
thats a big one
http://www.thepostm
Dennis the menace
http://www.thepostm
if I were you
http://www.thepostm
guess it wasn't too good
http://www.thepostm
watch yourself
http://www.thepostm
hot chocolate and exlax
http://www.thepostm
I still hear him
http://www.thepostm
I'll have what he had
http://www.thepostm
he's compassionate
http://www.thepostm
little voices
http://www.thepostm
get it fixed!
http://www.thepostm
the sisters of mercy
http://www.thepostm
ain't it a bitch?
http://www.thepostm
This man, his wife and their Border Collie, Maisy were out for a drive
in the country one afternoon in their new convertible, with the top
down. The husband and wife were enjoying the scenery as they drove along.
While unbeknownst to them, Maisy gave birth to seven puppies while
laying on the back seat of the automobile. The couple continued to
drive along, unaware of the new arrivals. Soon the road began to
deteriorate and was beginning to become quite rough. Suddenly, the car
ran over a deep pothole in the road, and one of Maisy's puppies
bounced up and out of the car, landing on the roadway just in front of
a police car that had been following the man and his wife.
The police officer switched on his lights and siren, and soon had the
couple pulled over to the side of the road.
"What are you pulling me over for?" queried the startled driver.
The officer responded, "I pulled you over for creating a 'Road
Hazard', for other drivers!"
"What hazard?" Asked the man.
"A puppy bounced out of your car and put myself, and several other
drivers at risk, trying to avoid hitting it."
"Now your Drivers License and Proof of Insurance, please. Thank you
Sir... And the 'Bitches' name, Sir". ...
"Hey! How dare you call my wife a bitch!
"Sir, I was referring to the dog!"
"Oh... Her name is Maisy."
"What do you want her name for, officer?"
"Well Sir, after I write your ticket for 'Endangering Vehicular
Traffic', and I am going to cite your dog, Maisy, for Littering!
____________
The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized
that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up
the whole world. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole
dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best
fighting dog in the world and which ever side's dog won would be
entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down
its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and
Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest
Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy
from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They
used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the
biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel
bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a
strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry
for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog
could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog.
When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped
itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost
completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the
Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund reached out and consumed the Russian
dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.
The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in
disbelief. 'We don't understand how this could have happened. We had
our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and
Rottweiler bitches in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves."
"That's nothing", an American replied. "We had our best plastic
surgeons working for five years to make an alligator look like a Dachshund."
____________
1. Height of patience: A naked woman lying down with her legs apart
under a banana tree.
2. Height of frustration: A boxer trying to scratch his balls.
3. Height of Innocence: A teenager girl applying Clearasil to her
nipples.
4. Height of Unemployment: Cobwebs in the hole of the prostitute.
5. Height of laziness: A guy lying on a girl and waiting for an
earthquake to do the rest.
6. Height of Competition: A guy peeing beside a waterfall.
7. Height of Sophistication: Sucking nipples with a straw.
8. Height of Technology: Condom with zip.
9. Height of Trouble: A one handed man hanging from a cliff and his butt is itching.
____________
Little Johnny comes home from playing at his friend Steve's house.
He goes up to Mum and says, "Hey Mom, guess what! Steve's got a penis like a peanut!"
His Mum is understandably confused for a second then asks,
"What, you mean it's shaped like a peanut?"
"No", replied Little Johnny. "it tastes salty!"
____________
Q: What do you call twelve naked men sitting on each other's shoulders?
A: A scrotum pole!
Q: How did the Puerto Rican woman loose 20 pounds in one day?
A: She washed off her makeup.
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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