Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Ok everyone has mixed opinions about Paris Hilton's sentence
for driving on a suspended license after a DWI conviction but
even though some states consider their laws strict, they are
nothing compared to those in some foreign countries. Here is a
list that Jennifer sent.
Australia The names of the drivers are sent to the local newspapers
and are printed under the heading, "He's drunk and in jail."
Malaya The driver is jailed; if he's married, his wife is jailed too.
South Africa A 10 year prison sentence or the equivalent of a $10,000
fine or both.
Turkey Drunk drivers are taken 20 miles from town by the police and
forced to walk back under escort
Norway Three weeks in jail at hard labor, one year loss of license.
If the driver commits a second offense within five years, his license
is revoked for life.
Finland Driver is automatically jailed for one year at hard labor.
Sweden Driver is automatically jailed for one year at hard labor.
Costa Rica Police remove plates from the offender's vehicle.
Russia License revoked for life.
England One year license suspension, a $250.00 fine and jail for one
year.
France Drivers are punished with a three year loss of license, one
year in jail, and a $1,000 fine.
Poland Jailed and fined and forced to attend political lectures.
Bulgaria A second conviction results in execution
El Salvador Your first offense is your last, as punishment is
execution by firing squad.
buffalo says the cruelest seems to be Malaya where if your wife
drives you
to drink and you drive drunk she goes to jail with you. What are you
going to
want to do after being in jail with her? Probably go have another
drink.
Enjoy the chips and be careful.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
PC Helpdesk
This new service provides live
PC and Laptop telephone and remote support (24/7/365),
remote management and anti-virus and anti-spyware
software for the Professional Consumer - Small Office/
Home Office (SOHO) and comprehensive support for Small,
Medium and Large business networks.
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beer Vs. Vagina
1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2. Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3. A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair
between your
teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make
a,scene,
kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may
get
mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be
had
here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.
I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in
one
night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may
suffer. If you eat any vagina in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If
you
smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers.
Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties
is fun.
One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off.
One point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle
or a
can.
One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but eventually it
settles down.
One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale,
lager, etc.
One point to BEER
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost.
One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother.
One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you drink
it.
One point to BEER
FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8
That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER
PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or
discriminated against, just remember that Beer would experience none
of
those feelings, let alone express them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Happy Meal
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Morning Poem
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Mad Cow Disease Symptoms
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
He Wishes
http://www.lablaugh
<a href="http://www.lablaugh
</a>
Karma Sutra Cake
http://www.lablaugh
<a href="http://www.lablaugh
</a>
Having Fun Riding
http://www.lablaugh
<a href="http://www.lablaugh
</a>
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hooker Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy goes to Vegas and gambles his first day away. He does really
good!
So, he decides to hire a hooker. He stops at a street corner and picks
up the first hooker he finds, and takes the hooker back to his hotel
room. He gets up there, and says, "I want a blow job." The hooker
looks
at him and says, "That'll be $350." The guy is floored. "$350! Why so
expensive?!" The hooker says, "Look out the window into the parking
lot.
You see that BMW? I paid cash for that because I give the best BJ's in
town!" So the guy pays, and he is not disappointed. The next day he
gambles again, and makes even more money. He is so excited that he
spends the rest of the afternoon looking for the same hooker. After
locating the hooker, he goes back to the hotel room. "Tonight I want
to
go Greek," he informs the hooker. The hooker says, "That'll be $800."
The guy is floored again. "$800! Why so expensive?!" The hooker says,
"Look out the window. You see that high rise penthouse? I paid cash
for
that because I have the best ass in town." So the guy pays and he is
not
disappointed. The next day he does really well again at gambling. So
he
gets the same hooker back in his hotel room. "Tonight, I want straight
up pussy." The hooker says, "Look out that window. Do you see that
mini-mall?" The guy says, "Oh, let me guess. You own that too?" The
hooker says, "Nope. But I would if I had a pussy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Year-Round Tomato
Year Round Tomato, the amazing system that lets you grow plump, lush,
red tomatoes all year round, all without hassle, dirt, or mess!
Since Year Round Tomato is designed to hang almost anywhere --
indoors by a
window
or in your favorite pot or outdoors on a fence, balcony or even a tree
limb -- it
saves space and you don't even need a backyard to enjoy backyard
gardening.
And, because the Year Round Tomato hanging pouch is so simple to move
around,
you can even grow tomatoes in extremely cold or very hot weather
simply by
bringing
it inside, for only $19.99 plus $6.99 shipping and handling!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My teacher is really giving me a tuff time" Little Johnny was telling
his father.
"Handle it this way Johnny," his father advised. "Take special care
with your personal appearance and attire. Pay attention in class. And
do your assignments and homework promptly."
"I really don't think that'll help Dad," Johnny sighed. "She hissed at
me during study break that she's 3 weeks overdue."
A 30-year-old man and woman are lying in bed after making
love. The woman lays on her side of the bed and rests. The
man goes to his side of the bed and says to himself, "Man oh man, I
finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin." The woman overhears him
talking
to himself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"
"Well," the guy explains, "I always wanted to wait and give the woman
I
love my virginity." Astounded, the woman replies, "So you really love
me?" "No," the guy says. "I just got sick of waiting."
Q:What do you call a sheep that runs around with forty thieves? A:Ali
Baa Baa
Phil and Will built a skating rink in the middle of a pasture. One
day a
shepherd leading his flock decided to take a shortcut across the rink.
The sheep, however, were afraid of the ice and wouldn't cross it.
Desperate, the shepherd began tugging them to the other side. "Look at
that," remarked Phil to Will. "That guy is trying to pull the wool
over
our ice!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
World's Smallest Fully Controlled R/C Helicopter
This Year's Hottest TOY - Not Found In Stores
Features:
. 360 Degrees (Full Function)
. Full Function 2 Ch. Remote Controller Charging System
. Duel Propeller System
. Altitude & Rotor Speed Control
. Real Helicopter Performance
. Flight Stabilizing System
. Super Lightweight Airframe
. Factory Assembled Ready To Fly
. Requires (6) AA Batteries (not included)
View Now:
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some wives claim that if you give a man enough rope, he'll claim
he's
tied up at the office.
I'm having a hard time getting over my failed prediction on who the
father of Anna Nicole's baby. I just knew it would be some guy from
Indiana. After all, Hoosier daddy. (Jeff Blackmer)
Calling on an attractive coed, the theology professor asked, "Who
was
the first man?" "If it's all the same to you, sir," replied the
embarrassed coed, "I'd rather not tell."
The wondrously stacked blonde appeared at her door in a strapless
evening gown that defied gravity. "Terrific!" said her admiring
escort. "I don't see what holds that dress up!" "Play your cards
right, dear, and you will," she murmured.
Two Swedish housemaids are having their pictures taken. The first
one
asks, "Why is he lookin' at us like that?" The second replies, "He's
got to focus." "Oh no," says the first one, "you tell him he has to
take the picture first."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
To anyone that has ever said, "I wish I could be a fly on the wall,"
have we
got a product for you. Our Wireless Camera Kit comes ready to go in 5
minutes or less. Simply plug the receiver into any component ready
television and hook the camera up to the included 9volt battery using
the
included battery adapter.
This super-small (1"x 3/4"x 7/8"), 3 Lux wireless camera and receiver
combo
delivers sharp, full-motion video images at 380 lines of resolution!
When we
tried this device out in the office, we were amazed at the clarity and
color.
On top of that, it also has great sound; picking up all the noises in
the
office without sounding distorted or fuzzy. One would think only
James Bond
cold get his hands on this kind of technology.
For those that feel the need to keep an eye on things while they are
away,
this is the way to go.
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MY LIVING WILL
I, ____________
body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by
artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in
the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass
ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or
lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the
bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to
ask for at least one of the following:
__x____ a Margarita
__x____ a Steak
___xx___ Lobster or crab legs
__x____a Bowl of ice cream
__x____Chocolate
__xxx____ Some kind of sex daily
Then, and only then, it may be presumed that I won't
ever get better.
Thus when such a determination is reached, I hereby
instruct my appointed person and attending physicians
to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day [ or a life ] .
rubin
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SpamWeed -- Spam Filter Software
SpamWeed combines various state-of-the-
technologies to
achieve best spam detection rate, accuracy and ease of use. Whatever
you
requirements for a spam filter, you can get a solution with SpamWeed.
Works with Outlook, Outlook Express, Thunderbird, Eudora, Incredimail
and
all POP3 Email Clients. It also supports Hotmail/Yahoo accounts.
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pants Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Wedding Night
David was going to be married to Jenn, so his father sat him down for
a little chat. He said, "David, let me tell you something. On my
wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants, handed
them to your mother, and said, 'Here, try these on.' She did and
said, 'These are too big I can't wear them.' I replied, "Exactly I
wear the pants in this family and I always will." Ever since that
night we have never had any problems.
"Hmmm," said David. He thought that might be a good thing to try.
On his honeymoon, David took off his pants and said to Jenn, "Here,
try these on." She tried them on and said, "These are too large.
They don't fit me." David said, "Exactly, I wear the pants in this
family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that."
Then Jenn took off her pants and handed them to David. She
said, "Here, you try on mine." He did and said, "I can't get into
your pants." Jenn said, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart-
ass attitude, you never will."
They lived happily ever after.
Jennifer
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deleted or Lost Files? Valuable Data Lost? Recover Deleted or Lost
Files
Quickly and Easily! Recover Deleted Files - data recovery software
will
quickly and easily recover deleted files emptied from the Windows
Recycle
Bin, or lost due to the format or corruption of a hard drive, virus or
trojan infection, unexpected system shutdown or software failure. See
your
deleted files before you decide to purchase!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail
to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Daddy's Hands
http://dedeswalkwit
Carol w/Where Am I
http://www.carolspo
Kaye w/Spring In My Heart
http://www.kayeswor
John w/ Mr Sandman
http://heavens-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We would like to inform that you can easily backup your DVD movie
collection
to the same inexpensive CDs you've used to copy music. Now there's no
need
to go out and purchase an expensive DVD burner or expensive blank
DVDs.
Nothing could be easier!
This is the software program the movie studios don't want you to know
about.
DVD X Ripper copies DVD movies to inexpensive blank CDs
With DVD X Ripper you can backup your DVD movie collection to the same
inexpensive CDs you've used to copy music. Now there's no need to go
out and
purchase an expensive DVD burner or expensive blank DVDs. Nothing
could be
easier!
Be sure to get this software before it's gone forever!
PRESS HERE TO LEARN MORE:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
Watch Movies for Free:
http://www.videosto
World's Most Haunted Places
http://www.haunted-
How Products Are Made
http://www.madehow.
Which Movie Reviews Should I Believe? Via Dianne
http://www.wisegeek
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry
which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or crashing
and
freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to major system
problems
and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's
Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention
that your computer's registry does contain file "errors", then it may
be in
your computer's best interest to fix the potentially harmful file
errors in
your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Animated Images for Father's Day
http://www.shangral
HTML Tag List
http://www.davesite
Poor Boy's Web-tv Help
http://community-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Your PC may be suffering from serious file errors in your WINDOWS
registry
which may be the reason why your PC is running so slow, or crashing
and
freezing from time to time. Also, these can lead to major system
problems
and possible memory leaks.
Below are instructions that will enable you to Increase Your
Computer's
Speed, Power, Stability and Reliability in just a few minutes.
If after completing the free Diagnostic Test it is brought to your
attention
that your computer's registry does contain file "errors", then it may
be in
your computer's best interest to fix the potentially harmful file
errors in
your registry.
Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.youtube.
Buffalo Rescue Via Amy
http://www.youtube.
Kitty Korner
http://www.youtube.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Some unknown or untrusted websites use script programs to change your
home
page, modify your web history, display advertisements, disable your
back
button, or redirect you to different websites without your consent.
Such
scripts have also been recently used by Russian hackers to silently
install
viruses on end-user's computers.
One way to protect your PC is to download this new FIREWALL software
program.
Press here to run the Firewall system scan now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
SpamWeed -- Spam Filter Software
SpamWeed combines various state-of-the-
technologies to
achieve best spam detection rate, accuracy and ease of use. Whatever
you
requirements for a spam filter, you can get a solution with SpamWeed.
Works with Outlook, Outlook Express, Thunderbird, Eudora, Incredimail
and
all POP3 Email Clients. It also supports Hotmail/Yahoo accounts.
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movies
Frank Caliend on Letterman
http://www.buffalos
Friends Are For
http://www.buffalos
From Metcafe
http://www.buffalos
Funny George W Bush At His Best
http://www.buffalos
Big Nose
http://www.buffalos
Clever Crab
http://buffalosjoke
Topless Car Wash
http://www.buffalos
milkshake
http://www.buffalos
Unnecessary-
http://www.buffalos
vid
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scott was lamenting to the bartender that he met his wife in a
brothel. "You shouldn't be so unhappy about it," the barkeep said,
"It's actually really romantic." "Oh, yeah?" responded Scott. "Well,
I thought she was home taking care of the kids and she thought I was
bowling. And to clinch it all, the madame wouldn't give me my money
back and refused to give me another girl."
A young boy on his way home from school must pass by a group of
hookers. Everyday as he passes them, the hookers wave at him with
their pinkies and say, "Hi there little boy!" One day the boy stops
and asks one of the hookers why they always wave at him with their
pinkies. She replies, "Well, that is what size we imagine your penis
to be... it is just a joke!" The next day on his way home, the
hookers repeat the tradition. The young boy stops and drops his
school books on the ground, sticks all his fingers in his mouth to
stretch his lips very wide and says, "HI THERE LADIES!
A lesbian goes for her annual physical. After the ob/gyn completes
the physical she says, "Well, you seem to be in perfect health, I
couldn't find a thing wrong in my exam. Furthermore, I'd like to
compliment you on your excellent personal hygiene. I have hundreds
of
patients, and I can't think of a one of them who keeps her genital
area so clean and fresh." The patient says, "Well, there's a
perfectly good reason for that, you see, I have a woman in three
times a week."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRUE GENTLEMAN
Fine Shaving Products...
for the Discerning Gentleman
"Thanks, Dad..."
$69.99
HERE
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gotcha
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
New Survivor
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Nude Beach
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Stay And Chat
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Queen and Weenie
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
CSI: San Fransisco
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
No Right Answer
http://www.AikensLa
<a href="http://www.AikensLa
Cow Pranks!
http://www.AikensLa
<a href="http://www.AikensLa
why don't you do that at home?
http://www.thepostm
greeting cards for males
http://www.thepostm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Protect your PC against MALICIOUS website attacks that cause Security
and
Privacy Exploitations!
ThreatNuker comes with...
a.. No monthly fees and no hidden charges!
b.. Easy to install and use!
c.. Automatic updates!
d.. 24/7 access to customer service!
e.. Free lifetime software engine updates!
f.. No additional hardware of any kind is needed!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow called Shit
A name he disliked quite a bit;
So he changed it to Shite -
A step in the right
Direction, one has to admit.
~ Victor Gray ~
____________
Victoria said, "We've no quarrel
With Shakespeare, but this is immoral!
His Measure for Measure
Incurs our displeasure;
We don't do such things at Balmoral."
~ Frank Richards ~
____________
I'm in love with a girl from Uttoxeter,
An exquisite and passionate cock-sitter;
With her prehensile hole,
She envelopes my pole,
And then squirms up and down as my rocks hit her.
~ Gerard Benson ~
____________
Prince Charles in his Welsh principality
Formed a violent left-wing solidarity;
When asked why this was
He replied, "It's because
I am sick of the family mentality."
~ Bernard Levin ~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Jokes On You
Busted Tees are inexpensive and funny T-Shirts. Caters to the fun,
hip and younger generation.
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged
in
sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in
the
trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
you
how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the
ground
and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an
almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually
she
managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
CLEVER CLASPS are magnetic jewelry clasps that you can attach to any
necklace or bracelet.
CLEVER CLASPS contain super-strength magnets that are guaranteed to
grip and
never slip,
so even your heaviest necklaces are perfectly secure. They are
available in
silver or gold
to complement all of your jewelry. Plus as a free bonus you will also
receive two 3"" extender chains.
Order from the Official TV Website:
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peter met Sharon in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company
very
much and at the end of the evening Sharon invited Peter to her place,
where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic
session in bed.
Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and
snuggled
up close to each other.
After a short while, Sharon began tenderly stroking Peter's manhood.
Surprised but appreciative, Peter commented, "Surely you can't be
ready
for more already?"
Sharon replied, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic,
and I
miss the days when I had mine."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
SKECHERS SUMMER CLEARANCE SALE
Sun-worthy SKECHERS for Spring.
Buy 2 pairs or more and get 15% off + free shipping and no sales tax!
(except in CA). Enter code SPRING15 at checkout.
* WOMEN *
Shop all Kanz and Diversions:
http://buffalosjoke
Shop all Bikers:
http://buffalosjoke
Shop all Refreshments and Mary Jane:
http://buffalosjoke
* MEN *
Shop all Citywalk:
http://buffalosjoke
Shop all California:
http://buffalosjoke
* GIRLS *
Shop all Bikers:
http://buffalosjoke
* BOYS *
Shop all S-Lights:
http://buffalosjoke
* As a member of Club SKX you will receive FREE shipping and no sales
tax
(except in CA) with your order!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment