welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)
Good morning postman fans!
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I wish to thank all who wrote in yesterday regarding the movies and the comics.
Most seemed to indicate the new format for the movies was better.
Ironically, however, as you know, we had a little foobar with the comics.
Did you notice? the postman put four wwwws in the comic links, instead of the normal www...
which is why none of the comics worked in yesterday's issue. lmao.
That is sortof like murphys law isn't it? If anything can go wrong, it will !!!! :)
I normally try to respond to every email altho in this case the amount was so great I shall simply
collectively say thank you for all your responses, I read em all tho time does not permit me to respond to
each and every one.
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
LOST WHALES PROVIDE MAJOR SURPRISE
Stunned scientists confess embarrassing error
BENICIA, California –
As scientists frantically attempted to rescue two apparently lost whales wandering in the
delta after making a jarring left turn at the Golden Gate, they suddenly realized that the pair
wasn't a mother whale and her calf, as originally thought.
The marine experts were stunned to discover that they had mistakenly been tracking
Rosie O'Donnell and Ted Kennedy, who are presumed to have wandered off course while visiting the Bay Area.
"This is a little embarrassing,
"We should have recognized them right away by their sheer size and erratic behavior."
"These individuals weren't responding to our earlier rescue attempts, and now we know why.
Rosie and Ted do appear to be confused, though, so we're switching tactics to bring them back to safety.
A boat loaded with pasta and vodka has been deployed to lure them out of the delta.
They'll soon be safe and sound and back on course making fools out of themselves in their natural habitat,
where they're supposed to."
There is a lot of good stuff in the movies today. Some of them are power point displays which you will
need to click to download. not really movies, but they were pretty awesome.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!
____________
LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES!
plz note: some of these links are power point.
u will need to download it for it to display
stunning photography
http://www.thepostm
the smiling girl
http://www.thepostm
windows for austrailians
http://www.thepostm
blue earth
http://www.thepostm
how to spot a blond antelope
http://www.thepostm
the bus stop
http://www.thepostm
the taxi
http://www.thepostm
Words of wisdom from Dennis:
THE COMICS
the harley rider
http://www.thepostm
cover it up
http://www.thepostm
they don't understand
http://www.thepostm
rescue?
http://www.thepostm
this one is my favorite
http://www.thepostm
the girlscout and the blindman
http://www.thepostm
now that's nasty
http://www.thepostm
so then I said...
http://www.thepostm
men and women
http://www.thepostm
slap or swallow?
http://www.thepostm
WE MISS RODNEY DANGERFIELD, BECAUSE . . ..
He said . .. .
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.
The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, "Why?"
He said, "Because you came home early."
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the
Fruit-of-the-
My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.
My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex; she called me from
Chicago last night.
My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't of had anything to play with.
____________
A fellow is standing in a bar and another guy walks up to him and
says, "Are you Joe Smith?"
The fellow says, "Yes, I'm Joe Smith."
He says, "Were you in Chicago in early June?"
The fellow takes out a little notebook and rifles through the pages, and says,
"Yeah, I was in Chicago in early June."
"Did you stay at the Hyatt?" The guy looks
through his notebook again and says, "Yes, I stayed at the Hyatt."
"Were you in room 1368?"
The fellow checks his notebook and says,
"Yes, I was in room 1368."
The guy says, "Did you meet a Mrs. Adams
who stayed in room 1369?"
The guy looks in his book again, hmmms and
says, "Yes, I met Mrs. Adams who stayed in 1369."
The guy says, "And
did you have sex with Mrs. Adams for four nights?"
The fellow scans his
notebook and says, "Yes, I had sex with Mrs. Adams four nights."
The guy says, "Well, I'm Mr. Adams and I don't like it one bit!"
Again the fellow
looks in his notebook and says,
"You know, you're right, I didn't much
like it either, but it was something to fuck."
____________
It had taken him several months, but the executive vice
president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend
over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have
sex with her that way.
And just where have you been until this hour? demanded
his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home.
Down at the office, he replied, working like a dog.
____________
A young boy walked up to his father and asked, "Dad?
Does a lawyer ever tell the truth?"
The Father thought for a moment. "Yes Son," he replied,
"Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case."
___________
While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman
who was pretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his
hotel room, he found out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately,
the executive found himself unable to perform.
On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the
bedroom to find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair curled,
her face creamed, munching candy loudly while she poured through a movie magazine.
Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection.
Looking down at this, he snarled, "Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of
a bitch. Now I know why they call you a prick!"
BUFFALO'S
movies
Home Security
http://www.buffalos
How I Quit Smoking
http://www.buffalos
Drive
http://www.buffalos
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman!
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