Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
By now many of you have noticed I have been sending the chips
through one of my other email accounts, buffalos3@webtv.
Unlike most I began my work online with one of the original web-tv
units and I still have it connected to the tv in my bedroom so that
if I am pondering some deep subject while listening to the radio
I can surf without crawling out from under my nice warm blanket.
I still have WebTV friends that I email and jokelists that I only get
on the WebTV. I don't write the jokelists on WebTV preferring the
computer for that purpose and if you write to me at the WebTV
address it may take days to get back to you as sometimes I go a
whole week without checking my mail. Please use the
bbrabant@sault.
You may wonder why I switched addresses but the truth is that I was
having delivery problems with the other address. Since I switched,
readers at both Bellsouth have started receiving their mail again so
I guess we will stick with the different address for awhile.
Another great thunderstorm last night and today is sunny and fresh and
around seventy degrees. You can almost see the grass growing on the
lawn with all this sunlight and water. Good thing because haying
season
begins next week up here. If you are tired of the heat and humidity
come visit us.
Enjoy the chips .... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nugget Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a South American mining district Mrs. Brown presented her husband
with a 12 pound baby boy. Mr. Brown was so delighted that he went to
the
News office and told that he had found a 12 pound nugget of gold as
good
as any to be found in South America. The paper, naturally, sent a
reporter to get particulars. This is what happened:
Reporter: Does Mr. Brown live here?
Mrs.Brown: He does.
Reporter: Is he in?
Mrs.Brown: No he isn't.
Reporter: I understand he found a nugget of gold weighing 12 pounds.
Mrs.Brown: (Seeing the joke) Yes.
Reporter: Can you show me the exact location where it was found?
Mrs.Brown: I'm afraid Mr. Brown would object as it is private.
Reporter: Is the hole far from here?
Mrs.Brown: No, it is quite handy.
Reporter: Has Mr. Brown been working the claim long?
Mrs.Brown: Almost ten months.
Reporter: Was Mr. Brown the first to work it?
Mrs.Brown: He thought he was.
Reporter: Was the work difficult?
Mrs.Brown: It was at first but easier after the shaft opened.
Reporter: Is the water plentiful?
Mrs.Brown: Yes, sufficient to carry on the work.
Reporter: Has he gotten to the bottom yet?
Mrs.Brown: No, but quite near it.
Reporter: Do you think there are any more nuggets?
Mrs.Brown: Yes, if the claim is properly worked.
Reporter: Has he worked it since he found the nugget?
Mrs.Brown: No, but I told him it was time to start.
Reporter: Do you help him?
Mrs.Brown: I do my level best.
Reporter: Do you think he will sell the claim?
Mrs.Brown: No, he finds too much pleasure in working it himself.
Reporter: Can I see the nugget?
Mrs.Brown: Certainly.
She brought the baby in for inspection. The embarrassed reporter
departed very quickly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Horsey Rides
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Customary
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Stop Complaining
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<a href=" http://www.buffalos
When Counting Sheep Turn
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Difficult Choices
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A Far Away Planet
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Mom, hey, Mom! Lennie passed his bar exam so
we're going to get married next week!" The
bride-to-be was ecstatic. "Gee, honey, don't you
think you two should wait till he's been
practicing for a year or so?" cautioned her
mother.
"Oh Mom," said the bride with a blush, "we've been practicing."
A baby seal walks into a bar.
The bartender asks, "What'll ya have?"
The baby seal says, "Anything but a Canadian club."
First: I said some very foolish words to my boy friend last night.
Second: Yes?
First: That was one of them.
A girl was telling a boy friend that she
realized she was very popular, but she didn't
know why.
"Do you suppose it's my complexion?" she asked.
"No."
"My figure?"
"No."
"My personality?
"No."
"I give up."
"That's it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
During a recent survey, women were asked...
"What would you do if you woke up and had a penis?"
Here are their actual responses...
"I would walk around and prod my husband all night
long with it, whatever he is doing I'll be there prodding
him with it."
"I would write my name in the snow."
"I would go into my boss' office and lay it on his desk
and say: 'Where is my raise?'"
"I would find my ex-boyfriend, go to bed with him and
tell him to roll over and try something new."
"I would want a big one and show it off to everyone."
"I could grab myself in public and not be embarrassed.
"I would not lift the lid on the toilet seat while peeing."
"I would measure it both ways."
"Pee off of a tall building."
"I would speed to the hospital and have it surgically removed."
"I would treat women better with it."
"I would love him, and squeeze him, and play with it all day."
"Demonstrate to my husband and my two sons that it is possible to hit
the water and not pee all over everything."
"Pin my husband down and slap him in the face with it."
"I would play with it and then make him roll over into the wet spot."
"Go to an adult store and try out all kinds of stimulants to see what
was the best."
"Stand up and jump up and down and watch it swing all around."
"See how many donuts I could carry with it."
"Check out my boyfriends gag reflexes!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This old spinster had two capuchin monkeys that
she dearly loved. One morning she came to their
cage and found them both dead. She took them to
the taxidermist: "They're all the companions I
had in this world. I'd like you to work on them."
"Certainly, ma'am," said the taxidermist, "how
would you like them mounted?"
The spinster blushed: "Oh, NO! Not **mounted**;
sister!"
The loneliness of a middle-aged man and woman -
both divorcees, eventually blossomed into love
and finally marriage, but the wedding night
turned into a real disaster. "You just do not
fulfill me sexual expectations, " the bride
commented.
The following morning. You're right about that."
replied the new husband. "But when I promised to
fill the void in your life, I simply had no idea
that it would be so blooming large!"
One day the Mexican maid announced to her boss's
wife that she was quitting. When asked why, she
replied, "I am in the family way."
The wife was both surprised and shocked, and asked who it was.
The maid replied, "Your husband and your son."
This time, the wife was horrified and demanded an explanation.
"Well," the maid explained, "I go to the library
to clean it and you husband say, 'You are in the
way'.¬ I go to the living room to clean and you
son say 'You are in my way'.¬ So I'm in the
family way and I quit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Army Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Army guy is sitting at a bar wearing a shirt that says,
"Marines suck."
Sure enough, two marines walk up. One of the Marines says,
"WHAT DOES THAT SHIRT SAY!?!?!?!"
The Army guy responds, "That's the first thing I hate about
Marines. they cant read."
The other Marine growls, "What did you say!?!"
The Army guy responds, thats the second thing I hate about
Marines; they cant hear."
Then the first Marine demands that they take this outside.
Two minutes later, the Army guy walks back into the bar
unharmed.
The bartender asks what happened to the two Marines.
The army guy responds, "Thats the third thing I hate about
Marines
-- they bring knives to gunfights."
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Handstand Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem.
The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go
behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but
went ahead anyway.
When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of
and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked
but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do
what the doctor said.
As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs
and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin
right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive
'yes, yes' type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again.
Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main
cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much
liquid before going to bed.
"So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?"
"Well," said the doctor, "my wife is right, a beard would suit me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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NOVA
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TheSimpsons.
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Bread Machine Manual
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Movies
Take Two
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Amazing Child
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Americas Funniest Home Videos
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Bad Flight
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Tit Crusher
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Morte
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young boy asked his mother, "Ma, is it true that people can be
taken apart like machines?" "Of course not, where did you hear such
nonsense?" replied his mother. The young boy answered, "The other
day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he
screwed the ass off his secretary."
Vickie and John had split-up a few months ago, but still remained
good friends, which worked out nicely, since they lived in the same
apartment building. One day John slipped on the ice and broke his
arm. He met Vickie in the elevator and she asked if there was
anything she could do to help. John said, "Well, if it's not too
much
trouble, could you help me take a bath?" Vickie readily agreed and
soon was washing him when she saw a gradual erection begin to
appear.
"Now isn't that sweet," she cooed. "Look John, it still recognizes
me."
Noticing that her husband's relationship with the alluring young
miss
across the street was becoming more than a little friendly, the
suspicious wife awoke one morning to find herself alone in bed.
Angered, she dialed her attractive neighbor and bellowed into the
phone, "Tell my husband to get his ass across the street." "Ma'am,"
a
soft, sexy voice replied, "That's where he's been getting it for
some
time now."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
What a hard on
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Big Ape
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A look see
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Financially insecure
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Boosting Circulation
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A New Organ
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Another Damn Commercial
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There's an oversexed lady named Whyte,
Who insists on a dozen a night.
A fellow named Cheddar,
Had the brashness to wed her...
His chance of survival is slight.
A lascivious fellow called Lees
Loved to give his poor cock a long squeeze.
This continual friction
Made real sex a mere fiction,
But the callous hung down to his knees.
____________
There was a young maid from Aberystwyth,
Who took grain to the mill to make grist with.
The miller's son, Jack,
Threw her flat on her back,
And united the organs they pissed with.
____________
A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with whom, and to whom.
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor shows him an inkblot and
asks him what it looks like.
"A naked woman." He shows him another inkblot and asks him the same
question.
"A naked woman on a bed."
"You're a sick pervert!" the psychiatrist exclaims.
"I'm not the pervert. You keep showing me all these filthy pictures!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady comes home and caught her husband in the act of cheating on
her. The rural housewife
went back to the house and returned with a 22 caliber rifle. Aiming
the weapon at her husbands
balls she said." I'm gonna turn a bull into a heifer, Jon!" "No
pleaded Jon. "Not like this! C'mon,
Judi, give me a sporting chance, darling!". All right,. I will she
said. You can set 'em to swinging.
Calif Jack
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1005
Rain Rain
Hammer hammer bang bang!
BJ: What are you guys doing?
Rudy: With all this rain pops, we thought we would build an ark.
BJ: An ark?
Sandi: Yes, if it continues to rain, the lake will arrive at our
front
door in approximately seven to eight days dad.
Katie: I already have our bags packed father. You and mother
should pack yours. We should have this ark finished by the end
of tomorrow.
Rudy: Huff... I hope so Katherine.
BJ: So this must be the bridge then, right Rudy?
Rudy: Right pops.
BJ: So where is the hull?
Rudy: Hull?
BJ: Yes, hull?
The part that keeps the ark afloat.
Rudy: Gulp! More timber!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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