Men

We're not as civilized as we think we are.

Work with me here.

We were watching a TV series last night... Well, it's "Gangs of London" on Netflix, we're only two episodes in, so don't tell me what happens, but the interaction of the gangs, who are not teenagers but closer to Mafiosi, got me thinking...

You see when you're in high school you get beat up, you're the object of derision.

Actually, it starts earlier than that, usually junior high. There are always some people so odd, so off the radar, that they're ignored, but if you think you might want to be a member of the group, you either are or you're not. And if you're not...

What you've got to know about guys is they've got a tribal mentality. They love a group. You see it in sports. And within this group...you don't want to speak up, you don't want to contradict, you want to go with the flow. This is the original bro mentality. There are advantages: camaraderie, friendship, an entire life, but you must conform.

Unless you're the leader.

There's always one or two leaders. Who steer the group. Sometimes they're evil, sometimes they're reasonable and over time, as they age, they extricate themselves from the group and are well-adjusted adults. But usually, those in power like their power, and this is how they live the rest of their lives, by lording it over others.

And underneath them are the good soldiers. Who will do whatever the leaders tell them to do. Who will not cross the leaders, who pledge fealty. Talk to one of these soldiers about the leader and they'll wax rhapsodic, no matter how negative someone from the outside may perceive this leader. It's a cult, akin to a religion.

So...

What do they say, the nerds inherit the earth?

You've got Bill Gates. Mark Zuckerberg. Even Peter Thiel and Elon Musk.

Remember, Peter Thiel killed Gawker for outing him as gay. This is how the rich nerds do it, the ones who did well in school, jumped through all the hoops, got all the money. They play within the system, it's built for them, they bend the rules, they get what they want.

And those of us reading the news, those of us who were educated at fine universities, see their power and believe they rule.

And they do.

But not to the extent we believe they do.

Now if you're on the wrong side of the divide in high school, you may get beaten up. Happens all the time, physical violence. But there's an understanding that once you become an adult, the law applies, this is no longer possible, you will pay the consequences, so everybody colors within the lines.

But this is patently untrue.

The educated, the rule-abiders, think that society is defined, that they're safe, but they're not.

Or maybe you could say when you've got nothing, you've got nothing to lose.

So we've seen the feminization of society. I'm not saying that #MeToo was wrong, I'm not saying that it's a level playing field, that women are not disadvantaged, I'm just saying if you're a member of polite society, educated, you've been taught that you must be sensitive, that girls are intimidated in class, over and over you've been told what a brute you are. And most of the people in polite society have bought this.

But not everybody else.

Not everybody in America went to college. Not everybody's on a career path. Not everybody has an IRA, not only thinking about retirement, but planning vacations years in advance. A whole hell of a lot of people are just living in the moment. And to tell you the truth, it ain't much different from high school.

You work at the factory. You even work at Walmart... You're going nowhere fast, but there is a hierarchy, there is a gang. And you go out drinking, and you hang on weekends and...

There might be a bar fight. Other physical violence. Maybe the police are even called. But spending a night in jail... Is anybody caring about their résumé?

This is the divide in America today.

So men without portfolio are acting just like the guys in "Gangs of London." They're looking for status, they're looking for power. And it doesn't come from a degree, or ownership of certain items, it comes from your personality, your power, your bullying, your intimidation.

Even worse, so many of these qualities even permeate polite society, amongst the educated, within Fortune 500 companies. You've got to belong to get ahead. And if you don't play by the rules you're blackballed.

This even happens in the music business. I could tell you names, of people who can prevent you from getting a job... But either you know them or you do not.

But this is not the perception of the college educated, some of whom are the elites, some of whom are not.

And never forget, those with less always have contempt for those with more.

So yes, all this is going through my brain because of the election. Because of the misperception of Harris and those who supported her. They had no idea of the mentality of most men. And the backlash that was brewing.

Oh, don't talk to me about abortion, don't get into the issues, just listen for a change.

Most Harris supporters did not. I've got an inbox of e-mail proving this.

Somewhere along the line the impression was given to educated women that the landscape had changed, but in reality it had not. Well, women get more college degrees than men, women have gained advantages, but men have not fundamentally changed. As a matter of fact, with less opportunity, it's gotten worse.

And you can see evidence of this all over the place. Hell, look at Active Rock... Those bands are not for everybody, but a subset, of alienated men. Sure, there are female fans, but... Hell, so many of these Active Rock performers have gone on record as being Republicans. What have the educated classes ever done for them but look down on them?

So we live in the land of disorder. Chaos. In a world they keep telling us is quantified, stratified, laid out, easy to grasp.

And this is not the case.

But it's all subtext. You can't write this. You can't own this. Even though post-election some have. Because it's taboo. Societal taboo. There's a certain way men must act, and it's not only in the news, but all over social media, pull up TikTok and you'll see endless women complaining about the behavior of men.

So how do we foment change?

Well, first and foremost by owning it, the truth, what is happening, not what we want to happen. We must not drown out the voices of those who disagree. Sure, we may be able to educate them, but without listening we just push them further away.

And we have to own the fact that on certain biological levels, men are men. We need to stop insisting everybody become a metrosexual. Nice, soft. Decrying anybody who is not cleaned up with a good job.

I'm not defending these men. I've been victimized by them my entire life. To this day. I can tell you about going against the group, even in seemingly non-threatening social situations. You follow the leader, it's an unsaid rule. You show up on their schedule, or else...

You're ostracized, you're done. Your inbox goes cold. They talk sh*t about you behind your back. You are not one of them, you are the other, you are to be wary of.

Forget that all breakthroughs come from the lone individual. That's something completely different, that person doesn't need a tribe.

And a tribe is not about innovation or change, but keeping order.

The only way we can make progress is by bringing these men in these tribes closer...stop ostracizing them, making fun of them, putting them down. We need to bring them in as opposed to putting them out.

But we must never ever insist they be just like us. That's how we got here, by dictating, by believing we had the answers, that we we're better than them.

Now the bottom line is deep down inside every man believes they've got something, a spark, a power. This is the essence of being a gang leader. To become a doctor you need a degree, so much more. So many of the modern professions...you need to jump through hoops, you just can't get it instantly.

But hanging with a group of men... All you need is your personality and drive. Comes out everywhere, on the golf course...everybody's jockeying for position, making fun of others.

The media industrial complex makes like this doesn't exist.

But it does.

--
Visit the archive: lefsetz.com/wordpress/
--
Listen to the podcast:
-iHeart: ihr.fm/2Gi5PFj
-Apple: apple.co/2ndmpvp
--
www.twitter.com/lefsetz
--
If you would like to subscribe to the LefsetzLetter,
www.lefsetz.com/lists/?p=subscribe&id=1

If you do not want to receive any more LefsetzLetters, Unsubscribe

To change your email address this link

Nov. 20 - Adam Driver recites Amazon reviews | Inside Kleenex’s new visual identity

 
 

Daily Dive

Nov.​ 20,​ 2024 | Today’s news and insights for marketing leaders
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 
Read more news
 
 
 

From Our Library


 
 





 
View all resources
 
 

What We’re Reading


 
 

 

 

 
Suggest a story we should read
 
 

Dive Into a Topic


 
 
 
 

 

Share Marketing Dive: Daily Dive and get rewarded.

 

You’ve referred 0/10 readers.

 
 

Share your link: https://www.marketingdive.com/signup/insiders/?signup_referred_by=5b0544e291d15c374412ca76

 

Men

We're not as civilized as we think we are. Work with me here. We were watching a TV series last night... Well, it's "Gangs ...