Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

Economic recession is worse than a divorce.
"Why?", I hear you ask.
Because in either a recession or a divorce, you lose half your fortune.
But in a recession, you still have your wife.*
_______________

I'm a retired schoolteacher. My favorite classroom story
concerns a young third-grade girl who came to school one morning
all excited. She explained that things were really going to be
different at their house now, because her grandfather had come
to live with them. Then she added, "And he's sterile, you know!"
The teacher thought for a moment, then replied, "You mean 'senile,' don't you?"
The child replied, "Yeah... that, too."
________________

While my friend, Emily, was visiting her mother, they went
for a walk and bumped into an old family acquaintance. "Is this
your daughter?" the woman asked. "Oh I remember her when she was
this high. How old is she now?"Without pausing, Emily's mother
answered, "Twenty-four." Emily, 35, nearly fainted on the spot!
After everyone had said their good-byes, Emily asked her mom why
she'd told such a whopper."Well," she replied, "I've been lying
about my age for so long, it suddenly dawned on me I'd have to start lying about yours, also!"
______________

"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got
me to stop drinking, smoking, and running around, enjoy the fine arts,
appreciate gourmet cooking and classical music, and even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
_________________

O'Neil was walking home from the pub one night when lo and behold
he sees one of the Little Folk. He sneaks up and catches him in is
stare and demands three wishes for the little mans freedom.
"Granted" says the man in green, "but whatever I do for you, O'Reily will get twofold!"
Now O'Reily is no friend of O'Neil, in fact they hate each other, but O'Neil agrees.
"For my first wish I'd like a mansion full of expensive antiques and beautiful women."
"Granted, and of course O'Reily gets two!"
"For my second wish I'd like a beautiful, sexy, redheaded nymphomaniac."
"Granted, and of course O'Reily gets two women."
Now by this stage O'Neil is pissed off, the hated O'Reily getting two mansions
and two nymphomaniacs. Suddenly inspiration hits him. "For my third wish,
I want you to remove one of my testicles!"

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

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