THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
There is nothing impossible to him who will try.
Alexander the Great
_______________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary
Rule 1?: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2?: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.
The world will expect you to accomplish something
BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3?: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.
You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4?: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss
Rule 5?: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.
Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping:
They called it opportunity.
Rule 6?: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault,
So don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7?: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring
As they are now. They got that way from paying your bills,
Cleaning your clothes and listening to you
Talk about how cool you thought you were:
So before you save the rain forest
From the parasites of your parent's generation,
Try delousing the closet in your own room..
Rule 8?: Your school may have done away with winners and losers,
But life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades
And they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.
*This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9?: Life is not divided into semesters.
You don't get summers off and very few employers
Are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.
*Do that on your own time.
Rule 10?: Television is NOT real life.
In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11?: Be nice to nerds.
Chances are you'll end up working for one..
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________
THE COMICS
marriage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i041.html
free love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i042.html
how a bill is passed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i043.html
good morning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i044.html
congratulations
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i045.html
a goal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i046.html
your friends
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i047.html
in class
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i048.html
I noticed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i049.html
information
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i050.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Swanee River Boogie Woogie - Piano Solo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1653.html
power tool
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1654.html
why men do not listen
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1655.html
Farmer John lived on a quiet rural highway.
But as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and
became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were
being run over at a rate of three to six a day.
So one day Farmer John called the local police station
and said, "You've got to do something about all of these
people driving so fast and killing my chickens."
"What do you want us to do?" asked the policeman.
"I don't care, just do something about those crazy drivers!"
So the next day the policeman had the Main Road's workers
go out to erect a sign that said:
SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING
Three days later Farmer John called the policeman and said,
"You've got to do something about these drivers. The `school
crossing' sign seems to make them go even faster!"
So, again, the policeman sends out the Main Roads workers'
and they put up a new sign:
SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY
That really sped them up. So Farmer John called and
called and called every day for three weeks.
Finally, he asked the policeman, "Your signs are doing no
good at all ... can I put up my own sign?"
The policeman said, "Sure, go ahead."
He was willing to let Farmer John do just about anything
in order to get him to stop calling to complain.
The policeman got no more calls from Farmer John.
Three weeks later, curiosity got the best of the policeman
and he decided to give Farmer John a call. " How's the
problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"
"Oh, I sure did," replied Farmer John, "and not one chicken
has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy."
He hung up the phone.
The policeman was really curious and he thought to himself,
"I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign … it might
be something that WE could use to slow down drivers."
So he drove out to Farmer John's house, and his jaw dropped
the moment he saw the sign.
It was spray painted on a sheet of wood....
NUDIST COLONY
Go slow and watch out for chicks!
__________
Q: What's the one question to which you can never answer yes?
A: Are you asleep?"
____________
Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play
racquetball. Suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing
nothing but a bag over his head and passes the three women.
As he passes the first woman, she looks down at his penis.
"He's not my husband," she says.
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis.
"He's not my husband either," she says, also not recognizing the unit.
He passes by the third woman, who takes a good long look as he runs by her.
"Wait a minute," she says. "He's not even a member of this club."
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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