Brilliant - one to remember if you're shopping.....
I have 2 dogs & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was
standing in the queue at the till. A woman behind me asked if I had a
dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive
care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it
works
is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one
or
two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so
I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by
now
enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition
because I had been poisoned.
I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my
private bits and a car hit me.
I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so
hard
as he staggered out the door.
.
.
.
.
.
Stupid Woman!! ..........why else would I buy dog food??
Thanks Ken
shoulders?
A: A scrotum pole!
that automatically opens free pornographic websites on
the victim's screen.
Authorities intended to track
down the hackers responsible for the virus just as
soon as somebody complains.
Men would do a much better job of searching for and clipping coupons.
Hookers are renamed "Special Stock Girls."
If you ever were not "prepared", you could always go to Aisle 8
There's gonna be confusion over Trix on Aisle 3 and "Tricks" on Aisle 10.
Clean up on Aisle 10 would take on a whole new meaning.
Same with the phrase "Freshness Dating."
Same with "Buy One, Get One Free."
No one wants to win the One Millionth Shopper award.
Paper or Plastic or Rubber?
Some men would still be in the Express Lane
A dream
======================================================================
Are your farts too unbelievable to be heard just the once? Then you need the Fart Recorder key chain!
This fantastic Fart Recorder is truly hilarious. We all know that farts are one of life's funniest little 'happenings' and let's be honest we all enjoy them.
So what's better than dropping your guts into the pocket sized Fart Recording key chain and playing them back for your own or other peoples amusement! It also makes a great gag gift idea. Be sure to pre-record your own fart to add that personal touch!
Once I was sick and I had to go to an ear, nose, and throat man
to get well. There are ear doctors, nose doctors, throat doctors,
gynecologists, proctologists, any place you got a hole, there's a
guy who specializes in your hole. They make an entire career out
of that hole. And if the ear doctor, nose doctor, throat doctor,
gynecologist, or proctologist can't help you, he sends you to a
surgeon. Why? So he can make a new hole!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Enraged, the husband grabbed a gun and shot his friend to death.
His wife said, "Ya' know, if you go on like this, you're going to lose ALL your friends."
impotence drug Viagra may also be effective in treating indigestion
caused by
long-term diabetes.
You may still have indigestion, but with that two-hour erection you
won't even care.
PULL MY FINGER FARTING BABY FREDDIE JR.
Freddie Jr. is a cute and adorable 7 inch plush baby doll that lets them rip! Freddie Jr. shakes, farts, rattles and rolls, ending with one of 7 hilarious phrases.
asked her mother
if it hurt when you had sex. Her mother said not
really, but to help
you can use Vaseline.
So the virgin goes and buys a jar and puts it in her
suitcase. At the
hotel room on her wedding night, she is lying in bed
while her husband
is in the bathroom getting ready. She decides to rub a
little Vaseline on.
He comes out of the bathroom and she says, "Oh MY!",
and then rubs a
little more Vaseline on.
He gets half way across the room and she says, "Oh MY
GOD!!" and rubs a
little more on.
He gets right beside the bed and she says, "HOLY
SH*T!!!" and puts the
rest of it on.
Her husband stands there for a moment and takes a
look. He then walks
over to her suitcase, takes her rosary beads out and
starts to wrap them
around his penis.
She says, "What the heck are you doing?"
He replies, "It looks a little slick. I thought I'd
put some chains on."
http://www.jokeworm.com/jokes2
Hunks
http://www.jokeworm.com/newhunks/
Babes
http://www.jokeworm.com/newbabes/
Adult Funny Pics
http://www.jokeworm.com/newpics/
http://www.jokeworm.com/cutepics/
By Michalis N. Katsigeras
Turkey is not Europe but Asia, said Nicolas Sarkozy during the televised debate with his Socialist rival Segolene Royal. In other words, Asia Minor – birthplace of the third century Christian saint after whom the presidential candidate was named – is not Europe. Neither is the land where the pre-Socratic thinkers laid the foundations of European philosophy. Nor is the successor state to the Ottoman Empire that the French and British pitted against Czarist Russia.
The difficulty in measuring the Europeanness of Asia Minor through the centuries highlights the numerous factors that come into play when attempting to answer the question: What are the boundaries of Europe? Who is and who is not European? If Europa, daughter of king Phoenix and Telephassa, were alive today, she too would not be considered European.
The prevailing notion of Europe and European identity is based mainly on political criteria that also accommodate important – albeit subordinate – geographical, religious, cultural and historical parameters. So there is de Gaulle’s vision of Europe from the Atlantic to the Urals, the Crusaders’ idea of a Catholic Europe, the Christian Europe of the Holy Alliance, Hitler’s New Europe, the New Europe of the enlargement-planners in Brussels. Likewise there is Rumsfeld’s old Europe and the Charlemagne-inspired Europe of Jean Baptiste Duroselle.
Europe’s borders, particularly to the east, were never clear. Geography may provide some answers but historical, cultural and anthropological factors complicate matters. The political answer to the limits and identity of Europe is the most simplistic one but it also the most powerful. And when the political objectives of the stronger nations do not entail some reinterpretation out of necessity, then there are exceptions and special relationships like the potential one between Turkey and an identity-less Union.
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