Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I was listening to another Coast to Coast show regarding self
healing and Out of Body Experiences ( OBE ) Never did a lot
of thinking about those two items before but now that I have
had OBE explained to me I think I have experienced this before.
It was back in college when I was getting over an old habit of sleep
walking from when I was a teenager. I would get up in the night
and take a walk down the road in my underwear and come back
and go back to bed without ever realizing I had ever been gone.
I then graduated to sleep-fixing where I would attempt to repair
things in my sleep, like my mom's TV with a spoon and the light
in my room in the dorm. I messed that one up so good that it
cost 25.00 to have the fixture replaced. Later in college I was
lying in my upper bunk and I felt like I was floating out of bed and
towards the open door unable to move and out on to the fourth
floor landing and I could feel myself falling. Suddenly I felt myself
landing with a terrible thud and in the process of flailing my arms
and legs fell out of my bunk on to the floor. Since then I can recall
dozens of dreams which seemed almost too real to believe to be
dreams and then being snapped back as it is referred to and waking
up with that same terrible crash. It could be there are various
physical conditions combined with dreams that are causing this
or maybe I am really a cosmic buffalo when my eyes close taking
trips and never having to spend a penny on gas. Who knows?
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you snooze, you definitely lose out on this great offer.
Get Free Custom Printing Today
Business Cards and more are free today
Check Out this month's Free Deals from VistaPrint
http://buffalosjoke
VistaPrint
Best Printing. Best Price.
Shipping and processing, product upgrades and photo/logo uploads not
included unless otherwise specified. Each product ordered is subject to full
shipping and processing charges for such product. Not valid on previous
purchases. See web site for details.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quickie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
EASY: A term used to describe a woman who has the morals of a man.
Q. What's the room called where enlisted women blow the officers? A.
Headquarters
How do you make a cat drink?
Throw it in the blender and remove the furry parts. =Thanx Ken
Q. What's worse than a cardboard box?
A. Paper tits.
What do you get when you cross a blonde and a pit bull?
Your last blow job ... ever!
If you could wag your penis the same way a dog wags his tail,it would
add a whole new meaning to "I'm so happy to see you!"
The surest way to remain a winner is to win once, and then not play any
more.
Groaner: Adam to Eve: I'll wear the plants in this family!
Q. What do you call a nun with a sex change?
A. A tran-sister.
Q. What's better than hugging a doggie?
A. Kissing a pussy
The Geography of a Man:
Between 15 and 99 a man is like Iraq - ruled by a prick <Thanx Jim>
Q: What's the most popular bra size in the nursing home.
A: 38 long.. <Thanks KBRITESTAR>
My ex-wife was so cold that when you spread her legs a little white
light came on!
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart <Thanx Coop>
<DUH> Warning label on a drum of industrial-strength detergent:"If you
cannot read English, do not use this product until label has been
explained to you."
Husband: "How about a little action tonight, honey?"
Wife: "Over my dead body!"
Husband: "How else?"
When push comes to shove... somebody's gonna figure out that "push" and
"shove" mean the same damn thing.
"The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit
standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree."
- Steven Wright
Give a person a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a person to use
the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.
Amy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Sorry
http://www.buffalos
Drinking
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Anal Beads
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Drinking
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Thought Processes...
http://www.ezines4a
<a href="http://www.ezines4a
Too Much Make-Up...
http://www.ezines4a
<a href="http://www.ezines4a
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend was complaining that her boyfriend would
not say "I love you," even if explicitly asked to
do so. The only exception, she said, was when
they were in fact in the act of making love.
Then, if asked, he would say the sacred words.
I suggested that she should not take too much
comfort in the exception. When making love, I
explained, men will say anything.
"He'd tell you he's the Easter Bunny if that's
what he thinks you want to hear," I told her. The
conversation rattled on from there.
A couple of weeks later, she related the
following. "We were in bed, making love and I
said, 'Tell me you love me'."
He said, "I love you."
I said, "Tell me you're the Easter Bunny."
He stopped for a second, and said, "I'm the Easter Bunny."
"So I slapped him."
The poor guy probably still doesn't know what happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Would stricter gun control prevent tragedy?
In the US, 40% of gun sales require no background checks.*
Vote here and get $500!
VISIT THIS WEBSITE TO VOTE
http://buffalosjoke
(Must be over 21 to vote)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Payback Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's 3am, and a man is driving his brand new BMW M3 down the N1 at
240km/h.
He's two minutes away from home when he sees a car on the side of the
road, on its roof, and flames all around.
There' s no one else in the area, his cell phone reception is dead, so
he stops his car.
Sure enough, there's a beautiful woman in the car, but she's bleeding to
death.
The guy reckons " screw it" and rushes home to fetch a blanket.
He gets back, puts the blanket on the back seat of his M3, and puts the
woman on the blanket.
He then rushes her to the hospital.
Six months she lies in the hospital, and he is with her every day and
every night.
He donates blood to keep her alive.
Eventually, she recovers fully, and they get married.
Life is cool for a few years, until one day she gets fed up and decides
to leave him.
His love of money is obvious, and she feels like a trophy wife.
She comes down the stairs, struggling with her two suitcases, she
reaches into her pocket for the keys to the Jaguar.
Sure enough, he stops her before she reaches the door, and asks" What
are you doing?"
I'm leaving you, " she says.
"Oh really, and how are you going to leave?
The keys in your hand are for the Jaguar I paid for. It's my car.
You are not taking it anywhere."
"Fine," she says, and throws the keys at him.
"And those bulging suitcases?
The clothes you're wearing?
Everything, I've paid for.
They are my suitcases and my clothes.
You're not taking them anywhere"
"Fine," she says, and throws the suitcases at him.
She strips down completely and throws her clothes at him too.
"And the blood in your body?
I sat with you for six months in the hospital.
You know half of the blood is mine.
You're not going anywhere."
She looks at him, turns, whips out her tampon and says
" I'll pay you back in monthly installments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
NEW! STARBURST BERRIES & CREME Fruit Chews
CHEW on THIS!
Get 24 Packs of your favorite fruit chews in 4 NEW great-tasting flavors -
FREE*! Simply take our survey & complete the participation requirements.
It's that easy!
Imagine the taste of a delicious frozen yogurt fruit smoothie packed into a
rich & creamy chewy square of candy. That's the savory flavor of NEW
STARBURST BERRIES & CREME.
. Mixed Berries & Crème . Raspberries & Crème
. Blueberries & Crème . Strawberries & Crème
Nothing says summer like a berrilicious STARBURST.
>>Get Your FREE* 24-Pack SAMPLE Now<<
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rehersal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy
at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on
the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later
that night, about 2 o'clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and
we had ourselves another performance. Well, being so newly married and
not yet tired of the task, I waited quietly in bed while my beauty slept
until I couldn't wait any longer. It was 4 o'clock when I gave her a
little nudge. She opened her blue eyes and smiled sweetly. We
immediately had ourselves a rehearsal."
"A rehearsal?" his buddy asks, "Don't you mean a performance?
"No, because a rehearsal is when nobody comes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
100% unofficial, unauthorized, uncensored! See the TRUE IDOL they don't
want you to see!
American Idol Unauthorized!
Get Unauthorized American Idol on DVD!
Order Now!
Candid interviews with the show's most unforgettable and forgettable
contestants reveal what life is like after the spotlight of being on
AMERICAN IDOL has faded. In-depth interviews, expert commentary and diehard
fan testimonials laced with good old-fashioned juicy gossip make this a
behind-the-scenes expose not to miss!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Buck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A dude moved out to Idaho from back east. After a couple weeks he got
so horny he honked. He asked me what he could do about his condition.
I told him to go down to the Indian reservation and grab himself a
squaw.
He asked how to recognize a squaw.
I told him she would have a long braid down her back and be wrapped in a
blanket.
The next morning, a chilly day by the way, he dutifully proceeded to the
reservation. He spied an Indian sitting out in front of a tepee. When
he grabbed the Indian the Indian shouted, "Me buck, me buck!"
The dude replied, "Go ahead and buck you sonofabitch. I can ride
anything with hair on it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Google Pack has added two new applications to make your PC even safer:
Symantec's Norton Security Scan, which detects and removes viruses, and PC
Tools' Spyware Doctor Starter Edition, a top-rated anti-spyware utility.
Both are free and include automatic protection updates with no paid
subscription required.
Google Pack Screensaver has undergone a significant update and is now called
Google Photos Screensaver. Now you can turn your computer into a digital
picture frame that displays pictures from photo feeds continuously updated
streams of photos from the web.
Download Google Pack on any www.buffalosjokes.
listed below and enjoy the software Google has to offer!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A school girl was required to write an essay of two
hundred and fifty words about an automobile. She
submitted the following:
"My uncle bought a second-hand automobile. He was
riding in the country when it busted up a hill. I
guess this is about fifty words. The other two hundred
are what my uncle said when he was walking back to
town, but they are not fit for publication.
I'm a customer service rep for a phone company, and
one day someone called to place an order for new
services. After gathering his personal information, I
advised the customer that he'd have to provide proof
of residence: a rent receipt, credit card bill, whatever.
A few days later, I received a picture in the mail.
It was of a man pointing to the house behind him.
Jack and his fiancée Jill were a modern couple, quite
realistic about the state of marriage these days.
They met with the minister of the church to discuss
their marriage vows.
"Pastor," said Jill, "we wonder if we could make a
change in the wording of our ceremony."
"Yes, Jill," replied the pastor, "it is sometimes
done. What do you have in mind?"
"Well," said Jill, "we'd like to alter the 'until
death do us part' section to read, 'Substantial
penalty for early withdrawal.' "
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get a better night's sleep now!
Pacific Pillows!
Provides you with the opportunity to enjoy the luxurious comfort and style
you did at the Ritz Carlton or the Marriot in your own home.
Luxurious pillow packages!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank e-mail
to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
If I Should Die Before Your Wake Via Roger
http://www.flashdem
Marlene Bowed On My Knees and Cried Holy
http://summerhoosie
Sheryl w/Today's Child-Tomorrow'
http://www.hiddentr
Ginny w/A Miracle For Her
http://poetrybyginn
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Some unknown or untrusted websites use script programs to change your home
page, modify your web history, display advertisements, disable your back
button, or redirect you to different websites without your consent. Such
scripts have also been recently used by Russian hackers to silently install
viruses on end-user's computers.
One way to protect your PC is to download this new FIREWALL software
program.
Press here to run the Firewall system scan now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
1000Words Photography
http://1000words.
P l a y f a i r | Fun Things You Can Do Now!
http://www.playfair
Log Cabin Chronicles Greg Duncan's A timely bit of Irish fun,
http://www.tomifobi
Tap Water Quality Database
http://www.ewg.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
You've been selected to participate in Exclusive Gift Cards' -Free-* Kitchen
makeover ($1000 VALUE) promotion!
To claim your -Free-* Kitchen makeover ($1000 VALUE), Press Here:
Have you been dreaming about a more savory kitchen? Then add some flavor
with a -Free-* Kitchen makeover ($1000 VALUE)!
To claim your -Free-* Kitchen makeover ($1000 VALUE), Press Here:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
A Theory of Fun for Game Design OFFICIAL WEBSITE
http://www.theoryof
Julies Jukebox
http://www.jhegarty
Big Band Era
http://hometown.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
As you know, some people say I'm insane or crazy for doing what I'm doing
today, especially today of all days, but I don't care anymore because I
think it's just the right thing to do, but I can't do it for too much
longer, I just can't, and I really know that you will benefit the most from
what I'm doing, actually offering.
First off, thank you so much for taking a minute to read this, my name is
Shawn Casey, and I'm a millionaire that was dared to do something insane
today, and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I''m giving away an in-depth Internet
"Business-In-
but...I''m flat out giving it away. Your cost is zero... zip... zilch!
Press here before you become the 251st person:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.travelin
Kitty Korner
http://www.kittenbr
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Here is some more information about this new way to watch television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch! And
new channels are added every day!
3) Hundreds of Radio stations to listen to anytime, all of the time! And
new stations are added daily!
4) All of these channels are available 24 hours per day right from your
PC and laptop!
5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Are You Infected?
Are companies watching your online activity?
Do you have dangerous "SpyWare" installed on your PC?
If you're surfing online, there's a 93% chance you do!
Scan your system now ABSOLUTELY FREE & Find Out!
PRESS HERE:
http://buffalosjoke
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movies
Diet
http://www.buffalos
McDonalds
http://www.buffalos
Dog Training
http://www.buffalos
Polo
http://www.buffalos
That's Small
http://www.buffalos
Refreshing
http://www.buffalos
More Monkey Sex Because Buffalo Likes It!
http://www.buffalos
Richard Simmons Adult
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mate Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility
to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison.
With that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a
diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to
head west. Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning,
gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his
mission to the farmer, asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, "They're all lookin' to get married, so you came
to the right place. Look them over and select the one you want."
The man dated the first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the
man's opinion.
"Well" said the man, " She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly
notice, but pigeon-toed.
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the
man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the farmer again asked how things went.
"Well," the man replied, "She's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly
tell, cross-eyed."
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things
might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect!
She's the one I want to marry!" So they were wed right away.
Months later the baby was born. When the man visited nursery he was
horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He
rushed to his father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering
the parents.
"Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could
hardly tell, pregnant when you met her."
Mystra
~~~~~~~~~~~~
With a Garmin® Nuvi Color Handheld GPS Unit, you'll never have to ask for
directions again. Navigate mountains, woods, and anywhere else outside your
own backyard by clicking below. Get yours free (Participation required. See
below for details)
Blaze your own trail with a new Garmin® Nuvi Color Handheld GPS Unit-it
makes getting from here to Timbuktu a whole lot easier. Get yours now by
clicking on the link below.
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vampire
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Finger Lickin' Good
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Game Time
http://www.buffalos
<a href=" http://www.buffalos
Phone Sex
http://www.buffalos
Life Savers
http://www.buffalos
Anal Sex Is Easy
http://www.buffalos
Squat On This
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every Sonic Blade comes with 2 sets of blades, a 5-in-1 blade set and the
micro slicer set blade.
And today, you'll receive a second bonus Sonic Blade FREE!
Order direct from the Official TV website:
Product includes: 2 for 1 Sonic Blade Kit, 26 piece Turn-N-Store container
set,
Deli Slicer, plus John Paul's "Cut Like a Pro" and Rebecca's " Fast and
Fancy Cooking" books,
a Sonic Food Holder and Garlic Peeler for each Sonic Blade ordered,
absolutely FREE!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow of Harrow
Whose john was the size of a marrow.
He said to his tart,
"How's this for a start?
My balls are outside in a barrow."
____________
There was a young bishop from Trest,
Who openly practiced incest.
"My sisters and nieces,
Are all dandy pieces,
And don't cost a cent," he confessed.
____________
There was a young girl of Batonger,
Used to diddle herself with a conger
When asked how it feels
To be pleasured by eels,
She said, "Just like a man, only longer."
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
NESTLE'S brings two BIG-TASTING CANDY BARS to PEANUT BUTTER lovers
worldwide: the BUTTERFINGER and the BABY RUTH!
One must ask HOW TO CHOOSE? When you're fixing for a peanut buttery treat,
do you reach for the crispy, coated & crumbly BUTTERINFINGER, or the chunky,
nut-clustery BABY RUTH?
Vote now & we'll reward you with a 36-PACK of your FAVORITE, FREE*!
>>Vote Now to Get Your FREE* 36-Pack<<
FREE* 36-Pack of BABYRUTH or BUTTERFINGER Candy Bars!
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On their 40th wedding anniversary and during the
banquet celebrating it, Tom was asked to give his
friends a brief account of the benefits of a marriage
of such long duration.
"Tell us Tom, just what is it you have learned from
all those wonderful years with your wife?"
Tom responds, "Well, I've learned that marriage is the
best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty,
forbearance, meekness, self-restraint, forgiveness --
and a great many other qualities you wouldn't have
needed if you'd stayed single."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fat Loss '4' Idiots - (Idiot-Proof Diet)
You don't lose weight because you are eating the wrong foods and making your
metabolism shut down. Learn how to beat that by rotating your meals.
Download the Idiot-Proof Diet within 60 seconds - and look good in the
mirror again.
http://buffalosjoke
If you are interested in having an absolutely incredible sex life, there is
a new book (just published) that has the most exciting secrets you will ever
read.
But, here's a warning: Before you request your copy of the book, you better
know some of the secrets revealed in it. You see, the author of the book
doesn't want to embarrass anyone... or... make them feel uncomfortable in
any way. So, if your deep religious beliefs, your ultra conservative
upbringing or, if you have "personal reasons" against having great sex...
you probably should NOT read this book.
http://buffalosjoke
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a
cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her
purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her
cigarette and continued to smoke.
Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! What is it
that you put over your cigarette?". The other old lady said," Its a
condom". "A condom? Where do you get those?" The lady with the
cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the
pharmacy.
When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold
condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that
this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What
size do you want?". The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One
that will fit a Camel!"
Rich
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Colon Complex The #1 Product for Internal Cleansing
Detoxify Naturally with Colon Complex
The Most Complete Internal Cleansing Product Available
- Cleanse and Detoxify your Body
- Properly Cleanse your Internal Organs
- Naturally Increase Health, Wellness and Longevity
http://buffalosjoke
Try it complimentary for 90 Days !
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 980
The All-Nighter
BJ wakes up to realize the dogs have been out all night.
There are no signs of them. What is strange is Sandi, yes
Sandi missed her bedtime with Dad. They all missed
breakfast.
BJ has to go to work so the task is with Diana to hunt for
the scoundrels..
Meanwhile at the Lakeshore...
Rudy: I have a splitting headache.
Ginger: Me to.
Katie: I told you that you should not mix
beer coke and milk.
Sandi: Groan...Where is my bed? Where are we?
Katie: I think our little part went on too long. It is
daybreak.
Sandi: Daybreak! Ack, Daddy will be worried sick.
Katie: True, and we have nobody to blame but ourselves.
Rudy: He will ground us for sure.
Ginger: What does that mean?
Sandi: Take away some privileges.
Katie: Ack! We could runaway.
Rudy: Don't be stupid Katherine. Where else could we
have such a nice home?
Katie: Yeah, let's go home and face the music.
Sandi: Quietly and quickly, here comes the dog catcher.
Ginger: Hi mister dog catcher!
Smack!
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
__,_._,___
No comments:
Post a Comment