My name is buffalo and I have the watch.
Buffy has finally started a Facebook account for Eva which will
allow her to play all of the games she has started at one time or
another and was playing on my account. I sent some of the
bookmarks to her on Facebook the other night including one for
Games for Girls that she has been playing since about 2010.
Someone spotted it and asked me if i used the site often and the
answer is yes. There are several reasons for doing that as I want
to make sure the games are appropriate for Eva, that there is
nothing that will damage the computer, and to explain the instructions
to Eva as they are written at a level that she probably won't be at
for a couple of years. They do have one game that I really enjoy that
involves smashing a desktop with a variety of objects, just perfecting
for venting your frustrations after Download Tuesday. Once I have
scoped the site out I add it to Eva's bookmarks and as her computer is
six feet away I still keep an eye on what she is doing.
Eva has a list of about 30 or so applications from Facebook on my
computer ranging from fish to zombies but what caught my eye was a
site called Star Doll. It is like the high tech version of paper dolls
like my sisters used to play with from McCalls magazines. These
allow you to pick a doll and customize everything on it and then
dress it. Eva had several dolls she was working on and there was
something wrong with the dolls but I couldn't quite figure it out. I
called Buffy over and she asked if I was building transvestites. A
little research later I found out that Eva couldn't get at the girl
models so she had taken male models and made them look as
feminine as possible. So if anyone discovered that app during
my absence from publishing, no I wasn't spending my time
making transvestite paper dolls.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Genie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy is walking along a Florida beach when he comes across a lamp
partially buried in the sand. He picks up the lamp and gives it a rub.
A genie appears and tells him he has been granted one wish.
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "I want to live forever."
"Sorry," said the genie, "I'm not allowed to grant eternal life."
"OK, then, I want to die after the Democrats balance the budget and
eliminate the debt.
"You crafty little bastard," said the genie.
Russell
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Confession Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Confession
A parish priest was being honored at a dinner on the twenty-fifth
anniversary of his arrival in that parish. A leading local politician,
who was a member of the congregation, was chosen to make the
presentation and give a little speech at the dinner, but he was delayed
in traffic, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they
waited.
"You will understand," he said, "the seal of the confessional, can never
be broken. However, I got my first impressions of the parish from the
first confession I heard here. I can only hint vaguely about this, but
when I came here twenty-five years ago I thought I had been assigned to
a terrible place.
The very first chap who entered my confessional told me how he had
stolen a television set, and when stopped by the police, had almost
murdered the officer. Further, he told me he had stolen money from his
parents, embezzled money from his place of business, had an affair with
his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister.
I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not
all like that, and I had, indeed come to, a fine parish full of
understanding and loving people."
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of
apologies at being late.
He immediately began to make the presentation and give his talk. "I'll
never forget the first day our parish priest arrived in this parish,"
said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to
go to him in confession."
Moral: DON'T EVER BE LATE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Premarital Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here's a touching story with a redeeming moral:
Nice Guy
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and
we'd decided to get married.
My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my
girlfriend was a dream!
There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed. That one thing
was my finance's younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty
years old, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would
regularly bend down near me and I enjoyed many pleasant views of her
underwear. It had to be deliberate... I didn't notice her doing this
near anyone else.
One day the sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding
invitations. She was alone when I arrived and whispered to me that soon
I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she
could not overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me -
just before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead
with it just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
When she reached the top, she pulled down her panties and threw them
down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went
straight to the front door. I opened the door, stepped out of the house,
and began walking directly toward my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes, he
hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little
test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to our
family!"
So, the moral of the story is...
Always keep your condoms in your car.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
History Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Most Used Phrase Explained...
I doubt the authenticity of the account... but it works for me... Have
you ever wondered where the phrase "You gotta be shittin' me" came from?
Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of our
Country.
Way back, George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his
troops. There were 33 in Washington's boat. It was extremely dark and
storming furiously and the water was tossing them about. Finally,
Washington grabbed Corporal Peters and stationed him at the front of the
boat with a lantern. He ordered him to keep swinging it so they could
see where they were heading. Corporal Peters, through the driving rain
and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, back and forth.
Then a big gust of wind and wave hit and threw Corporal Peters and his
lantern into the Delaware. Washington and his troops searched for nearly
an hour trying to find Corporal Peters, but to no avail. All of them
felt terrible, for the corporal had been one of their favorites.
Sometime later, Washington and his troops landed on the other side, wet
and totally exhausted. He rallied the troops and told them they must go
on. Another hour later, one of his men said, "General, I see lights
ahead!" They trudged towards the lights and came upon a huge house.
What they didn't know was that this was a house of ill repute hidden in
the forest to serve all who traveled the area.
General Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him. The
door swung open, and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman. A
huge smile came across her face to see so many men standing there.
Washington was the first to speak, "Madam, I'm General George Washington
and these are my men. We're tired, wet, exhausted and desperately need
warmth and comfort."
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad
smile on her face, said, "Well, General, you have come to the right
place. We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you
have?"
Washington replied, "Well, madam, there are 32 of us without Peters."
The Madam said, "You gotta be shittin' me!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please forgive our lack of a fancy template at the moment and
enjoy these pages from our friends.
Melva
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Sk.html
Checkin' In
http://www.adreamandasmile.com/Smiles/Checkin_In_On_You.html
Ray Stevens - Come To America
http://www.youtube.com/embed/WgOHOHKBEqE?feature=player_detailpage
games.sallini.com: RoofDrop
http://sallini.com/games/thegames/challenge/roofdrop/index.html
Escherian Stairwell
http://www.bitoffun.com/video_vault/escherian-stairwell.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baby Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After a woman gave birth to her baby, her doctor stood solemnly at her
bedside, and said:
"I have something I must tell you about your baby."
"What's wrong?", the alarmed mother asked.
"Your baby is a hermaphrodite."
"What's that?..."
"It means your baby has both male and female parts."
"Oh my Goodness, that's wonderful!", the woman exclaimed...
"You mean it has a penis and a brain?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
School Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the first day of the school year and the shop teacher was
surprised to see a rather "princess-like" young lady sitting in the
front row of the classroom. Her name was Judy and she was the only girl
to sign up for the woodworking shop class that term. The shop teacher
asked her if she was sure she was in the right class, and Judy assured
him that she was. The teacher then said, "This course may be a bit out
of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?"
"What exactly do you mean?" replied Judy. "Well, what's the difference
between a nail, a screw and a bolt?" the shop teacher asked. Judy
pondered the question for a moment, then replied, "Well, I can't rightly
say as I know, 'cause I ain't never been 'bolted'."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Question Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Jordan was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside for a while when he came into the house and
asked her, "Grandma, what is it called when people are sleeping on top
of each other?"
She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's
called sexual intercourse, darling."
Little Jordan just said, "OK" and went back outside to play.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is
not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds!"
Eight-year-old Johnny came home from school one day. At the supper
table he announced to his mother and father that tomorrow in school they
were going to learn about sex education. The next evening at the dinner
table Johnny's mother asked, "Well Johnny, what did you learn about sex
education today?"
Johnny said, "I think the teacher said we should avoid inter-sections
and buy condominiums."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The wit of the Scots
A Greek and a Scotsman were sitting in a Starbucks cafe discussing who had
the superior culture.
Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well we Greeks built the Parthenon"
and arched his eyebrows.
The Scotsman replies, "Well ... It was the Scots that discovered the Summer
and Winter Solstices."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."
The Scotsman, nodding in agreement says, "Scots were the ones who built the
first timepieces and calendars."
And so on until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the
discussion. With a flourish of finality
he says, "The Greeks were the ones who invented sex!"
The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that is true, but it was we Scots who introduced
it to the women!"
Ray Tate,
Glasgow,
Scotland
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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