My name is buffalo and I have the watch.
Yesterday's July 4th was pretty much what we have grown to expect. We have
a fireworks
store on the Indian Reservation here and barely safe but somewhat insane
fireworks sold out
of many of the stores here. For that reason, the past three or four days,
the silence has been
broken at night dozens of times as someone fires a couple of large rockets
or mortar shells and
then lays low till the neighborhood dogs stop barking and the police cars
called out on noise
complaints go back home.
Sandy prepared enough food to feed an army and has a couple of huge racks of
beef ribs
slow cooking right now to go with the keftovers for supper tonight and
tomorrow too
probably which is good as tmperatures and humidity will be elevated for the
weekend. In
preparation for the eighties I have opened my bedroom window and broke out
my little
desk fan... It has been enough for the last three years.
Of course if you had to ask Eva what she enjoyed the most, she would tell
you the parade.
She has already learned there is advantages to being cute and took a
shopping bag along with\
her. When she came back it was filled with swag , abunch of candy, coloring
books, pencils,
whistles, pop rocks etc. She made out better than those IRS employees at
their convention
in Vegas,
The fireworks were a little stretched out and a lot of people left before
the Grand Finale to
beat the traffic ( The one traffic jam we have up here during the year.) So
anyhow Buffy and
the neighbors lit sparklers for the kids and the spark fountains and
finished up around
midnight. Eva barely got out of her shoes and she was asleep.
About 0900 I woke up and turned on HLN to watch the Zimmerman trial and Eva
wandered
in complaining she couldn't pull one of her socks off. I offered to help and
she didn't want it touched,
and said it was red and she must have hurt her foot. I told her to run warm
water over it in the
bath tub and see if that helps. A while later she comes back with a wet sock
still stuck to her
foot except now she had bugged Sandy and Buffy about it, still wanting
sympathy but no help
thinking it might hurt.
Finally she calmed down and gave the sock a pull and learned one of the
first secrets of
womanhood. If you are going to put polish on your toenails, you have to let
it dry before
you put your socks on.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cannibal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in
an IT company.
During the welcoming ceremony the boss says:
"You're all part of our team now. You can earn
good money here, and you can go to the company
canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the
other employees". The cannibals promise not to
trouble the other employees.
Four weeks later the boss returns and says:
"You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied
with all of you. One of our developers has
disappeared however. Do any of you know what
happened to her?"
The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing
developer.
After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals
says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the
developer?"
One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to
which the leader of the cannibals says: "You FOOL!
For four weeks we've been eating team leaders,
managers, and project managers and no-one has
noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer
and it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a
person who is working
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lion Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: How many people does it take to change a light bulb at Ford Field?
A: Three. One to change it and two to talk about how good the old one
was.
Q: What do you call a Detroit Lion with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.
Q: Why doesn't Iowa have a professional football team?
A: Because Michigan would want one too.
Q: What separates the one bad team from the good teams in the NFC
Central?
A: Lake Michigan
Q: Why don't the Lions like to eat soup?
A: Because they choke on the bowl.
Q: What do a stolen car and the Lions have in common?
A: No Title
Q: Did you hear why the Post Office just recalled their Detroit Lions
commemorative stamps?
A: People couldn't figure out which side to spit on
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Viagra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man gets his new prescription for Viagra, and starts home to get ready
for when his wife gets home.
He calls her on the phone, and she says, "I'll be home in an hour."
"Perfect," he thinks.
The Doctor told him to take his Viagra an hour before, so he takes the
Viagra and waits.
Well, an hour goes by, the man is ready to go, but no wife... She calls
him on the cell phone and says, "Traffic is terrible. I won't be there
for about an hour."
The man, frustrated, calls his Doctor for advice.
"I've got a hard-on a cat couldn't scratch off and my wife won't be home
for another hour! What should I do?" he asks.
The Doctor replied, "It would be a shame to waste it. Do you have a
housekeeper around?"
"Yes" the man replied.
"Well, maybe you can occupy yourself with her instead?" said the Doctor.
The man then replied with dismay, "But I don't need Viagra with the
housekeeper..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Women Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top ten things you'll never hear one woman say to another woman:
1. That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind
keeping my husband company while I go for a swim?
2. Oh, look, that women and I have the same dress on! I think
I'll go introduce myself!
3. His new girlfriend is thinner and better-looking than I am,
and I'm happy for them both.
4. If he doesn't let me hold the remote, I get all moody.
5. He makes more money than I do, so I broke up with him.
6. I'm sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-
fashioned waiter with a heart of gold any day!
7. We're redecorating the bedroom, and he keeps bugging me to
help him with the color choices!
8. He talks our relationship to death! It's making me crazy!
9. Why can't I find a guy who'll have a wild carefree night of
sex and then just go his separate way for once?
10. I just realized -- my butt doesn't look fat in this -- my
butt is fat!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Foreskin Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A surgeon was retiring from his long and rewarding career as a
specialist in circumcision. Throughout his career, he had saved
theforeskins of his patients in specimen jars as momentos, and now
wished to fashion them into a souvenir. So he brought his hundreds of
specimens to a leathersmith, and asked him to craft an article of fine
artistic quality. "I'll see what I can do," said the artisan, "Check
back with me in one week." The surgeon returned one week later, eager to
see what magnificent article the leathersmith had made for him. But the
leathersmith presented to him only a wallet. "All those foreskins and
you make for me only a wallet? " exclaimed the surgeon. The leathersmith
replied, "Aah....Yes, but if you stroke it, it becomes a briefcase.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mountain Tops and Valleys
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/C/Mo.html
Once In Awhile
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/R/Once.html
Humor In Politics 10!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics10.html
The Blue Ribbon
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/blueribbon.html
Life Is... Continued
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/lifeis2.html
Hudsons Packards and Desotos
http://pinterest.com/larrychastain/auto-hudson-packard-desoto/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dating Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FOR GENTLEMEN: HOW TO STUFF UP YOUR DATE
There are MANY ways to ruin a date. Here are a few things NOT to say on
a date...
* Nice outfit. Is that a wonder-bra?
* I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use
this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.
* No wine for me tonight. My urologist says it's not good to mix alcohol
and penicillin.
* I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you.
* People say I remind them of Peewee Herman.
* I used to come here all the time with my ex.
* I never said you NEED a nose and boob job. I just said it wouldn't
hurt to consider it.
* Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on
the answering machine every hour.
* I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I
wouldn't have given someone like you a second look.
* And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching and farting
contest.
* It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just
won't be as smart as I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this opt-in mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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