My name is buffalo and i have the watch.
With Buffy and i both trying to lose weight I have cut
down the amount of fast food meals to three or four a
month. That usually includes pizza once, McDonalds
and Burger King once, and Taco Bell or Subway the
other time. We no longer have a KFC as some
employees were selling drugs out of there and when
KFC found out they permanently pulled their franchise.
Although I admire this action, that left us with only
the supermarket deli chicken to fill that got to have
some chicken right now urge and it isn't the same. It
also doen't stop KFC from torturing you with the ads
for new items like their boneless chicken and hot bites.
Come on people spend your ad dollars where you have
a store. Oh and we had two McDonald's up here but
the one near the university wasn't doing well and
when it closed they bulldozed it to the ground a short
time after. What a waste of a building as it was only
about 10-15 years old, and was Buffy's first job in high
school.
I misheard an announcement today about Taco Bell
stopping their children's meal and toys and thought
they had said McDonalds. When I mentioned it to
Buffy, Eva went nuts as she usually controls where the
fast food is coming from by what toys are being offered.
I haven't told her yet that McDonald's plans on giving
out more books with their Happy Meals which doesn't
hurt my feelings one bit. books hurt your feet a lot less
than plastic toys when you step on them in the dark
and don't laugh at you or make rude comments.
The actual announcement about McDonald's today was
about the increase in sales at Wendy's beating out the
growth at McDonald's. I sent Buffy to Wendy's last month
as we hadn't been there in years and told her to bring me
back burgers and fries from the dollar menu. My first
question wa," Where's The Beef." The patty wasn't
much larger than that in a White Castle burger. Also
while we are on the subject of burger accessories,
remember how McDonalds used to have the best fries?
About a year ago BK brought out there new fries that
are larger and don't go limp on you when you nuke them.
The only problem is that they oversalt them in my opinion.
I have pretty much put away the salt shakers around
my dining area and the salt on a half dozen BK fries
will put your BP up 20 points for the rest of the day, so
have it your way and tell them easy on the salt or I'll
call corporate on you.
Enjoy the chips... buff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Red Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Red Riding Hood was skipping through the forest on her way to
Grandma's house when she came upon a squirrel. The squirrel asked
"Little Red Riding Hood, where are you going with that basket?"
"To Grandma's house" Little Red told him.
"Don't go there Little Red Riding Hood there is a big bad wolf there who
is going to pull your little red dress up, pull your little red panties
down and fuck your little white socks off." the squirrel advised.
Ignoring him she kept skipping through the forest til she came across a
rabbit. The rabbit asked her where she was headed and when Little Red
told him Grandma's he told her the same story.
"Don't go there Little Red Riding Hood there is a big bad wolf there who
is going to pull your little red dress up, pull your little white
panties down and fuck your little red socks off."
Little Red ignored him and continued on her way. Upon arriving at
Grandma's Little Red opened the door to find a big bad wolf waiting for
her.
"Come in Little Red Riding Hood. I have been waiting for you. I am going
to pull your little red dress up, pull your little white panties down
and fuck your little white socks off."
Little Red smiled at the wolf and said "OH NO YOU AREN'T YOU ARE GOING
TO EAT ME LIKE THE BOOK SAYS"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lottery Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every year at the state fair Paul entered the lottery for the brand new
truck and lost. This year, he told his friend David, he wasn't going to
bother and enter.
"What kind of attitude is that?" David asked. He leaned closer and
whispered, "What you need, pal, is faith. Look around and see if the
good Lord sends you a message."
Strolling around the fair, Paul grew more and more despondent as the
drawing neared. Nothing struck him, no divine inspiration, no sign from
God.
Finally, while he was passing old Mrs. Kelleher's pie stand, he glanced
over and saw the woman bending down. She wasn't wearing any panties, and
suddenly her ass began to glow. All of a sudden, a finger of flame came
from the skies and without her even knowing it, used her ass as a
notepad. The fiery finger etched a seven on each cheek.
Thanking God, Paul rushed to the raffle booth and played the number 77.
A few minutes later, the drawing was held. And once again, Paul lost.
The winning number was 707....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dead Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bob & Marion were a God fearing couple who got married young, and stayed
married. Throughout their relationship, they enjoyed a healthy sex-life, of
which they were proud. As they reached their twilight years, the couple
made a deal; if it were at all possible, whoever died first would come back
and inform the other if there is an after-life, and if there is, if you
could still have sex after death. Their biggest fear of course, was
that there might be no after-life at all.
After a long life together, and following the statistical average, the
husband was the first to die.****
True to his word, he made the first contact: " Marion....
Marion ... "
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's
off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then
have sex a couple of more times.. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots
of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex
the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to the golf course
again. Then it's more sex until late at night.
I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over
again".
"Oh, Bob! Are you in Heaven?"
"No - I'm a rabbit somewhere near Mildura."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Canadian Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Canadian Is Drinking In A New York Bar....
He gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear
& orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because, he
announces, his wife has just produced a typical Canadian baby boy
weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the
Canadian just shrugs, "That's about average up North, folks. Like I
said, my boy's a typical Canadian baby boy."
Congratulations showered him from all around & many exclamations of
"WOW!" were heard.
One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains.
Two weeks later the Canadian returns to the bar.
The bartender says "Say, you're the father of that typical Canadian baby
that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you?
Everybody's been makin' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks.
We were gonna call you... so how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled & concerned. "What happened? He already weighed
25 pounds the day he was born."
The Canadian father takes a slow swig from his Molson Canadian, wipes
his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender & proudly says,
"Had him circumcised".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please forgive our lack of a fancy template at the moment and
enjoy these pages from our friends.
Melva
http://silverandgoldandthee.com/Rogs_Poems/ToAg.html
Send A Smile Today
http://www.adreamandasmile.com/Smiles-6/Force_It.html
The Rainbow Bridge Poem - A Pet Loss Poem
http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm
One Brave Little Dog
http://www.dogwork.com/kan6/
Bobcat On A Cactus!
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/bobcatoncactus.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tattoo Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A very tall man walks into a bar, and a lady recognizes him as a
basketball player. They start to talk, and eventually, go back to his
place. They start to kiss, and the man takes off his shirt. On his arm,
he has a tattoo that says REEBOK. "What's that?" the lady questions.
"Oh, I have this so that when I'm on TV people will see my tattoo, and
Reebok pays me." Then the man takes off his pants, and on his leg, he
has a tattoo that says NIKE. "What's that?" the lady questions again.
"Just like the Reebok tattoo, I get paid when this tattoo is seen on
TV." Then the man drops his underwear and on his penis he has a tattoo
that says AIDS. "You didn't tell me you had AIDS!" the lady screams.
"NO, no! Calm down," the man replies. "This will say ADIDAS in a
minute."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a girl named Hortense.
The size of her breasts was immense.
One day playing soccer
Out popped her left knocker
And she kicked it right over the fence.
There was an old man from Rangoon
Whose farts could be heard on the moon
When least you'd expect 'em
They'd roar from his rectum
With the force of a Burma typhoon!
There once was a man from Balan
Who thought stroking his penis was grand
Then he stared with distaste
At the gelatinous paste
That he found in the palm of his hand
There was a young man from Saint Johns
Who wanted to bugger some swans
"You can't" said the porter
"Instead take my daughter,
The swans are reserved for the dons."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dental Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy and a girl meet at a bar..
They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his
hands.
He then takes off his trousers and again washes his hands.
The girl has been watching him and says:
"You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says:
"Yes ....... How did you figure that out?"
"Easy." she replies, "You keep washing your hands."
One thing leads to another and they make love.
After it's over the girl says: "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with an inflated ego, says:
"Sure - I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?"
The girl replies:....
"I didn't feel a thing."
Red in Ohio
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl wrote to Sarah Palin and asked; 'How did the human race
start?'
Sarah Palin answered, 'God made Adam and Eve; They had children; and so was
all mankind made.'
Two days later the girl wrote to Michelle Obama and asked the same question.
Michelle Obama answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the
human race evolved.'
The confused girl went to her father and said, 'Dad, how is it possible that
Sarah Palin told me the Human race was created by God,
And Michelle Obama said they evolved from monkeys.'
The father answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple, Sarah Palin told you
about her ancestors and Michelle Obama told you about hers.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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William Brabant
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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