My name is buffalo and I have the watch.
I guess one of the bad things about being the weatherman
is people tend to remember when you are right about bad
and forget the times you were right about good weather.
They had been predicting thunderstorms today all week
and everybody was praying and doing rain dances to attract
them. well the storms showed up and as I predicted the
winds did cool things a bit but once the storm was gone
the temperature went back up and so did the humidity with
all of the extra extra water.Now I know why a clam opens
up when you steam it, it's hot in there and he wants to get
out. There are more bands of thunderstorms coming in
and hopefully they will spell an end to this heat. Buffy and
Eva are headed to the city park tomorrow to campout. With
their luck it will probably drop to 45 degrees and the cool
weather will keep away the mosquitoes. As for me everytime
I went camping it was too hot to stay in my sleeping bag or
the tent so I ended up spending the night in the car with
the window open swatting the skeeters as they came in.
enjoy the chips and stay cool... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vacation Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two priests decided to go to Siesta Key on vacation. They were
determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that
would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed
for a store and bought shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist"
garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine
and the scenery when a "drop dead gorgeous" topless blonde in a thong
bikini came walking straight towards them. They couldn't help but stare.
As the blonde passed them, she smiled and said "good morning, Father,
good morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually,
then passed on by. They were both stunned. How in the world did she know
they were priests?
So the next day, they went back to the store & bought even more
outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you
even saw them.
Once again the two priests in mufti settled on the beach in their chairs
to enjoy the sunshine. After a while, the same gorgeous topless blonde,
wearing a string, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again
she nodded at each of them, said "good morning, Father" and started to
walk away.
One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said. "Just a minute
young lady.
" Yes," she replied.
"We are priests, and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world
did you know we are priests dressed as we are?"
The blonde turned around and replied, "Father, it's me, Sister Angela .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feel Good Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For all the grandparents out there!...........Something to think about !!
Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant.
My six-year-old grandson asked if he could say grace.
As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the
food, and I would even thank you more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for
dessert. And liberty and justice for all! Amen!"
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman
remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know
how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it wrong?
Is God mad at me?"
As I assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not
mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.
He winked at my grandson and said, "I happen to know that God thought that
was a great prayer."
"Really?" my grandson asked.
"Cross my heart," the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark
had started this whole thing),
"Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for
the soul sometimes."
Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal. My
grandson stared at his ice cream for a moment, and then did something I will
remember the rest of my life.
He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in
front of the woman.
With a big smile he told her,
"Here, this is for you. Shove it up your ass you grouchy old bitch! "
Touches the heart doesn't it?
Dianne
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Old Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Pakistani family in US admitted their grandfather into a nursing home.
After sometime they visited the old man and asked, "How do you feel here?"
He replied, "It's wonderful. Everyone here is so courteous & respectful.
There's a musician, 85 years old, hasn't played the violin in 20 years &
everyone still calls him Maestro.
There is a Judge, 95 years old, hasn't been
on the bench in 30yrs & everyone still calls him Your Honour!
There's a Dentist, 90yrs old, hasn't fixed a tooth for 25 years &
everyone still calls
him Doc.
And there's ME.
I haven't had sex in 35yrs, yet they still call me
"The Fucking Pakistani".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Scot and an American were talking about playing golf during the various
seasons of the year." In most parts of the U. S. we cannot play in the
wintertime. We have to wait until spring," the Yank said. "Why, in Scotland
we can even play in the winter time. Snow and cold are no object to us!"
exulted the Scot. "Well, what do you do? Paint your balls black?" asked the
American. "No, nothing that drastic," said the Scotsman. "We just put on an
extra sweater or two."
A college student picked his date up at her parents home. He'd scraped
together every cent he had to take her to a fancy restaurant. To his dismay,
she ordered almost everything expensive on the menu: appetizers, lobster,
champagne, ... the works! Finally he asked her, "Does your Mother feed you
like this at home?" "No," she said, "but my Mother's not expecting me to
give her a blow job later tonight either."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please forgive our lack of a fancy template at the moment and
enjoy these pages from our friends.
Melva
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Rest.htm
Inviting Friendship
http://www.adreamandasmile.com/Frdshp/How_Inviting.html
Photo Gallery - Dolls Houses Past & Present Via Dianne
http://tinyurl.com/kkglevm
Working in the heat
http://www.noaawatch.gov/themes/heat.php
Stuck Animals
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stuck.html
Juggling Around Iceland
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=dXx31LNnZKo
Ray Stevens - Come To America
http://www.youtube.com/embed/WgOHOHKBEqE?feature=player_detailpage
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A gal who was putting on airs
Kept attracting a great many stares.
It seems that her dress
Under strain and duress
Had split on her way down the stairs.
* * * * *
While her garb suffered decomposition,
She appeared not to know her condition.
She assumed that those glances
Were ill-bred advances
Not gapes at her clothing's attrition.
(Madeleine Begun Kane)
Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed,
Little Bo Peep was giving him head,
As soon as he came she started to weep,
She knew by the taste he'd been screwin' her sheep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Diet Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An extremely obese woman shows up at her doctor's office crying and claims
that she has tried every possible way to lose weight, all to no avail. She
continues to sob, "My husband won't make love to me any more. My friends
make fun of me. Everywhere I go they tease me. I just can't take it any
more!" The doctor, hoping to help her, proposes a radical diet -- rectal
feeding. Reassuring the patient that she won't starve to death, the doctor
explains that she'll actually take in enough nutrients, through the rectal
walls, to sustain life and that she's sure to lose weight in the process.
Three weeks later the patient comes in for a follow-up appointment and she's
down from her 360 pounds to a trim 110 pounds At first the doctor doesn't
recognize her and asks his nurse, "Who is that beautiful lady in the waiting
area?" The nurse reminds the doctor that she's the fat lady on the special,
rectal diet. The doctor show the patient into the exam room and notices that
she is bouncing up and down and side to side quite energetically. The doctor
asks how she's doing and if there was anything wrong. The patient replies,
"I'm feeling great Doc. Never felt better!" "In that case, why are you
bouncing up and down and side to side?" The patient replies, "Oh, that. I'm
just chewing gum."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife reaches her husband a silk handkerchief and asks him: "Doesn't this
belong to your secretary?".
"Where did you find that?", he stutters.
"I didn't", she answers. "The mail man found it on your night-stand".
Little Johnny and his dad were on an overcrowded elevator. Suddenly a lady
in the front turned around, slapped Little Johnny's dad, and then left in a
huff.
"That sure is a nasty lady," Little Johnny's dad said.
Little Johnny remarked, "I didn't like her either, Daddy. She stepped on my
toe ... so I pinched her ass."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Ode to Woody Johnson*
My nookie days are over, my pilot light is out
What used to be my sex appeal, is now my water spout
Time was when, of its own accord, from my trousers it would spring
but now I have a full-time job, just to find the blasted thing
It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave
For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave
But now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues
To see it hang its withered head, and watch me tie my shoes!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clean Clean Clean Clean Clean
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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