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just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!!!!! GOOD AFTERNOON POSTMAN FANS
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Being a Saturday with a long four day weekend, the war department seemed to think this
was a good day to come up with a list of stuff to do around the house. The "to do" list, as it were...I tried to ignore her, but she has a funny way of geting my attention...
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
the sky is falling
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/l051. html handicapped
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/l052. html the contest
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/l055. html being replaced
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/l056. html make up your mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/l057. html all your fault
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/l058. html smokin area
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Win the first 10 seasons of The Simpsons or Family Guy DVD
The Simpsons or Family Guy DVDs, plus cash!
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
gonna write to Santa this year?
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies773 .html at the gas pumps
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies768 .html sawed in half
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies769 .html the lost snake
http://www.thepostmanscorner. net/da/movies772 .html Harry, a TV repairman, was called to fix a television set that had neither sound nor picture. Left alone in the room, Harry spotted the cause immediately: the set was unplugged. Harry faced a dilemma: one part of him said he shouldn't charge the woman; the other insisted he be paid for his time. Finally, he presented her with a minimum-charge service bill, which read: "Restored isolated connecting cable to primary power source. $25."
________________ A depressed blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park. A little bit later, a man was walking his dog and
spotted her hanging from the tree. He asked her what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself." "You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist,' said the onlooker. "I tried that," replied the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe."
______________ If your wife asks you, "Do these pants make me look fat?" I think a good answer is, "I'm sleeping with your sister." It will distract her from the pants, and let's face it, she was going to find out about you two sooner or later.
_____________ Jim Morrison is in one corner of a hotel with the rest of his band. In another corner are John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison
and Ringo Starr - and all are naked! A beautiful woman walks in, drops to her knees in front of Jim Morrison and begins to play the pink oboe. She swallows nicely then starts on his guitarist, then his drummer, and then the keyboard player. When she is finished, she licks her lips and wanders over to John Lennon and begins to do the same to him. At that moment, there's a huge crash and Robert De Nero smashes through a wall in a Mini-Cooper. He jumps out, grabs her by the scruff of the neck and shouts, "You bloody fool, you're only supposed to blow the Doors off!"
________________ Little Johnny runs into the living room one day and says, "Mom, why has Granny got a shrimp between her legs?" "Don't be silly; Granny
hasn't got a shrimp between her legs!" his mother replies. But Little Johnny is insistent "She has, she has!" he shouts. With this his
mother grabs Little Johnny by the hand and says, "OK, I have had enough of your foolishness. Show me!" Little Johnny drags his mother into grandma's room where, being a very hot evening, Granny is fast asleep on top of her bed with no clothes on. Little Johnny drags his mother to the end of the bed and points between Granny's legs. "Look I told you so" he says. "See the little shrimp!" His mother calmly decides she had better explain. "OK, Johnny, I know it looks a bit like a little shrimp but it's called a clitoris." "That's funny"
retorts Little Johnny "It tastes like shrimp...
_______________ There was a baby born in the hospital and he weighed ten pounds. The odd thing about him was his body weighed five pounds and his balls weighed five pounds. All the nurses and even the doctor didn't know what to do with him.Then, the chief surgeon walked in and asked what's wrong? The head nurse replied,
''We don't know what to do with this baby boy.''
So the chief surgeon took one look and said,
"Well it's obvious that you should put him
into a mental institution. Why,'' asked the head nurse. "Well," replied the chief surgeon, "take a look at him. The boy is obviously half nuts."
________________ According to a 1999 survey by the Scott Paper Company:* You can gauge a person's education by whether they read in the bathroom.* More than 2/3 of the people with a master's degree and doctorates read in the stall.* Only one in two high school grads read while in the bathroom, and 56 percent of those with college degrees do.* Fifty four percent of Americans fold their toilet tissue neatly while 35 percent wad it into a ball before using it.* Seven percent steal rolls of toilet paper (hotels/motels)* More than sixty percent prefer that their toilet paper roll over the top, twenty nine percent from the bottom.
The rest don't care.Buffalo's
MoviesHelp With The Keys
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 112406.htm Pocket Undies
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 112407.htm Wetback Mountain
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/ 021506.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!Have a nice day!FROM:Martin aka the postman
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