Funzines - Clean Cartoons for December 6, 2007

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Funzines - Clean Cartoons for December 5, 2007

Clean Cartoons
 
 
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Funzines - Clean Cartoons for December 4, 2007

Clean Cartoons
 
 
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* All Letters Start with a Personalized Greeting!
* All Letters are Printed on one of our Exclusive and Unique Christmas Templates!
* All Letters Include Detailed Information about the
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[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Fri

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

welcome to:
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

where the world goes for its daily dose of humor!
(made in the USA)

THIS EZINE IS FREE
TO ALL WHO ASK FOR IT
adult humor. wanna subscribe?
send a blank email to:
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Disclaimer.:
Don't like what you read?
keep yer comments to yerself,
I don't give a rip:)
wanna unsubscribe? don't bug the list owner, he'll just send you a nasty email.
just hit reply to this email and...cya!!!!!!!
 
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS


THOMAS KINKADE!!!!!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/ad0010.jpg
How would you describe Christ's last few days? Words alone don't seem enough,
do they? Now the Hamilton Collection invites you to experience inspiring
events from His life as never before with this exclusive FIRST from Thomas
Kinkade, "Faith Mountain"! Follow the story of Christ's last days, depicted
in 13 dramatic 3-D scenes and 45 sculpted characters, all hand-painted.
Christ's entry into Jerusalem, His trial, and ultimately, His triumph over the
grave are all brought to life in amazing detail, glowing with light! Don't
miss this EXCLUSIVE opportunity to bring the greatest story of all time into
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NATIONAL TOBACCO SURVEY. Vote & Get a FREE $100 Visa Gift Card!(Participation required. See below for details.)
WHICH DO YOU PREFER: A. MARLBORO Cigarettes  B.CAMEL Cigarettes  or  C. NO Cigarettes (I Do Not Smoke).
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FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The Mcdonalds corperation buckled under threats of class action lawsuits from a number
of "green peace" and like minded environmental groups such as The Sierra club,
PETA and several others. Spearheaded by the ACLU, the lawsuit accuses the mega
fast food chain of being unfriendly towards the environment. The lawsuit says that the 
wrappers and containers that the chain uses is polluting the natural environment. So, Mcdonalds has promised changes in its marketing strategies in order to settle out of court....

http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/jsw/g0012.jpg

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman!

FREE SAMPLE OF COLGATE TOOTHPASTE
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THE COMICS

a new twist to Cynderella
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the tooth fairy
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THE MOVIES

worlds greatest pizza maker
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the dinner party
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FREE LIPTON GREEN TEA
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Jerry's at the urinal in an airport rest room, then a guy with no arms sidles up next to him and pleads,"Hey buddy -- can you help me out here?" Though he feels uneasy, he considers the guy's predicament and decides to help.
He bravely unzips the man, takes a deep breath, reaches in and pulls out the guy's penis.Much to his horror, it is hideous!. It's moldy and bluish green, covered with pus-filled scabs, and it reeks something awful.
Imagining the kudos he'll get on Judgment Day for this selfless good deed, Jerry holds
the man's unit while he finishes urinating, shakes it, then puts it back in the man's
pants and zips him up.The guy tells Jerry, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it."
"No problem," says Jerry. "But I gotta ask - What the hell's wrong with your dick?"
The guy pokes his arms back out of his sleeves and says,"I don't know, but I sure as hell ain't touching it."
_________________
 
A man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor
comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a condition
which only allows you another 6 weeks to live."
"But Doctor," Bill replied. "I feel great. I haven't felt better in years. This can't be true. Isn't there anything I can do?"After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start going down the street to that new health spa and take a mud bath every day."Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?""No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used to the dirt."
______________
 
A little girl was staring out her bedroom window, watching two dogs going at it doggy-style in the street. In curiosity she called for her father to explain what they were doing...Her father entered the room and asked what was wrong. The girl then said, "Father what are those two dogs doing?" The father hesitantly replied, "Why, one of the dogs got hurt, and the other is helping it to an animal hospital."
The girl jumped to her feet and said, "It's just like with humans, daddy, you try to help someone and you get fucked!"
________________
 
A knockout blonde with a fine set of knockers complains to the doctor, "I believe I am losing my mind. I can't remember ANYTHING after five minutes!" The doctor answers, in his most comforting tone, "Just take off all your clothes, miss, and lie down..."
_____________
 
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?""OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call
your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.And then they made love for the first time.Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed,smiling with satisfaction.Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."After the second time they spent, they guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a
suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!"
______________
 
During the National Spelling Bee recently in the nation's capital,Islamic spectators became outraged upon discovering that the USA was embedded in the middle of Jerusalem, Israel's holiest city.The revelation was made by Douglas Levin, an eighth grader at the Joseph Lieberman Day School in Rockville Center, Md.
When young Levin was asked to spell the word Jerusalem, he replied:....J  E  R-  USA - L  E  M
An audible gasp sounded from Muslim onlookers, who realized for the first time a USA presence in the holy city. Muslim parents immediately protested the spelling contest, citing American bias toward Israel.
'It's a clear violation of church and state,' said Mohammed Ahlee, lobbyist for the Arab group Holy Shiite. Bee officials quickly denied any wrongdoing, asserting that the Muslims
were merely disgruntled because Rajeed Raheed, a seventh grader from Al Kaydah Junior High,  had been eliminated earlier for misspelling Afghanistan as Afghanustan.
'There is no 'A-N-U-S' in the middle of Afghanistan,' said one bee official, 'unless you believe bin Laden is still hiding there.
 
BUFFALO'S
Movies
 
 
 
 
 
 
Casual Friday's
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___________________
 
LAB LAUGHS
 
 
 
 
 
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman


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Latest Updates from Google AdSense

Google AdSense™


In This Newsletter


Note from the AdSense team

Hi,

Want to be up-to-date on the latest and greatest developments here at Google AdSense? You'll find all the details right here in our newsletter. Since our last email update, we've launched quite a few new products and features, and we hope you've had the opportunity to try them out. Whether the information below is news to you or simply jogs your memory, read on for new ways to make money with AdSense, customize your Google ads, and make your site more engaging for users.

As always, feel free to send us your feedback about the tips and updates we've provided. We'd love to hear what you think!

Sincerely,

Lilly and Julie, on behalf of the Google AdSense Team


New and improved AdSense features

AdSense for mobile now available

If you currently run a website designed for mobile phones, or are planning to set one up, you can now monetize your site with Google AdSense for mobile. Similar to AdSense for content, AdSense for mobile automatically serves targeted ads to your mobile webpages, enabling you to earn money while providing useful information to your users. If you'd like to learn more about the specifics of the program, check out the policies and requirements. Or to get started right away, simply sign in to your AdSense account, visit the AdSense Setup tab, and select AdSense for mobile as the product.

AdSense mobile logo

Announcing Video Units

We're excited to announce video units, a new way for publishers to enrich their sites with premium, relevant video content on an embedded YouTube player. We know one of your top goals is to enhance your users' experience, so video units allow you to choose which video categories to target to your site and which to exclude, as well as to customize the color scheme and layout of the YouTube player. Plus, the ads provided with the videos are highly targeted and non-intrusive. If you're looking to monetize and enrich your site with premium video content, learn more about video units or simply log in to your account to get started.

Choose your advertisers with Referrals 2.0

All publishers can now take advantage of the newest improvement to our referrals program: cost-per-action ads from our pool of AdWords advertisers. In addition to referring your users to our Google products, you can pick and choose from the many great products and services offered by our advertisers. You can match the content of your site – and your users' interests – by selecting the specific ads that you want to show on your page. Even better, you can place up to three referrals ads on your page in addition to your standard AdSense for Content ad units.

Adsense Referrals

To get started, just visit the AdSense Setup tab, choose Referrals as your product, and start finding the perfect ads for your site. You can also find out more about the advantages of referrals by reading our Inside AdSense blog post.

Get your ads in shape with rounded corners

You probably noticed the launch of our redesigned ad formats earlier this year, but did you know that you can customize the shape of the ad unit further by selecting between square, slightly rounded, or very rounded corners? To get started with these new shapes, visit the 'AdSense Setup' tab in your account. We suggest that you choose the corner style that best matches the look and feel of your sites.

Slightly RoundedVery rounded
rounded corners

Updated ads are just a click away

All AdSense accounts – including yours – were recently upgraded to take advantage of our new ad management feature. Using this new feature, you can store details about your AdSense unit, including ad size, colors, and channel settings, on our servers. That means you can update and change settings for your AdSense unit from within your account, without needing to change the ad code on your page. Want to change the border color of that banner on your site? Just use our new ad management feature to switch the color, hit Save, and presto - that AdSense unit on your site has a brand-new border.

To get started with this new feature, just check out our guide to 'mastering ad management' or head to the Get Ads sub-tab under the AdSense Setup tab in your account.


Publisher Education

Policy updates for your pages

As a publisher, it's essential to stay current with occasional policy updates. In recent months, we've made two notable changes that you should be aware of. First, we now require that publishers who use online advertising to drive traffic to their site(s) comply with the spirit of Google's Landing Page Quality Guidelines.

In addition, publishers may now place up to three link units and three referral units per page. (This is in addition to the three standard ad units and two search boxes that publishers are welcome to place on any page.) To learn more about optimizing with link units, read our newest case study about how one publisher used link units to increase income from international traffic.

New: Webinars for our Publishers

In case you missed our latest webinars, we've posted the recordings on our Help Center. The New Publisher Webinar covers a basic overview of the AdSense program and account features. During the Taking It to the Next Level: Improving Your AdSense Performance Webinar, our support specialists take you through optimization tips and suggestions on how to increase the performance of your Google ads. Our most recent webinar, What's New with AdSense, highlights the latest features such as Referrals 2.0 and Blogger Inline Ads.

Don't be green with envy – be green with EFT!

You may have heard that we're committed to doing business in environmentally friendly ways at Google. You can help us be green by signing up to receive your AdSense payments via Electronic Funds Transfer (EFT). EFT payments help eliminate the paper waste required to print and send you your check, since they're deposited directly in your bank account just days after they're posted to your Payment History page. And as a bonus, you'll have access to your earnings sooner. EFT is the fastest and greenest payment option available, and signing up is simple. Get your banking details ready and simply follow the steps in our Help Center.


AdSense Resources

Inside AdSense Blog - Keep up with the latest news, tips, success stories, and insights direct from the AdSense team. To receive posts directly in your inbox, subscribe to the blog.

AdSense Help Forum - Become a part of the AdSense community, where you can learn from other publishers and share your own knowledge and experiences.

Optimization Tips Page - Find out how to improve your AdSense performance with tried and true tips.

AdSense Calendar - Make AdSense dates memorable by subscribing to the AdSense Calendar, which provides our monthly payment schedule, a record of AdSense blog posts, future system maintenance periods, and upcoming events.


Until next time

There's always something happening in the AdSense world, so stay tuned for more updates in the weeks and months to come. If you have any comments or questions about the tips and features outlined in this email, we'd love to hear from you. Thanks for making AdSense a part of your site!


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Re-Slim Dunlap

Slimbob Dunlap was one in a million. The outpouring of love for him here in Minneapolis since the news broke is overwhelming. Everyone has a...