Plants gone potty!

[buffalos-adult-chips] Buffalos Chips Chips For 2-2-12

2012-02-02T23:47:00.000-08:00

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

The I-500 Snowmobile race is tomorrow and it is strange even
sitting here at 0200 to not hear machines racing down the alleyways.
It is of course illegal but the race is such a draw for tourists that
the Police tend to ease up a bit and not look for problems. This
year however like much of the Midwest there is very little snow
on the ground and the roads are dry and you drive them on
pavement only when necessary. The track where the race is run
is not snow but ice and they poured a thick sheet of it beginning
in January when it was well below zero so they are ready to run
two races there. Feel free to come up and watch the race but
bring a four wheeler to run around with as the streets are open
to off road vehichles on race day.

February is here and I have always felt cheated by that month.
You only had 28 days to earn the money for bills that were the
same as the ones you had in the 30 day months. It always
seemed that with the bills from Christmas and then Buffy's
Birthday and finally Easter that the chance of getting caught up
on bills wasn't going to happen till at least Memorial Day.

Famous Birthdays ...

February
1. Lisa Marie Presley, Clark Gable, Ann From Ohio
2. Christie Brinkley, Graham Nash, Farrah Fawcett
3. Fran Tarkenton, Norman Rockwell, Buffy Brabant\
4. Charles Lindbergh, Dan Quayle, Lawrence Taylor
5. Hank Aaron, Mary In NW Ga, Mary Jo Hostetler
6. Ronald Reagan, Babe Ruth, Axl Rose
7. Garth Brooks, Sinclair Lewis
8. Nick Nolte, Ted Koppel, Audrey Meadows
9. Carole King, William H. Harrison, Joe Pesci
10. Greg Norman, Mark Spitz, Dennis Alarie
11. Jennifer Aniston, Thomas Edison
12. Abraham Lincoln, Charles Darwin, Sue Adams
13. Chuck Yaeger, Bess Truman
14. Drew Bledsoe, Jimmy Hoffa, Florence Henderson
15. Susan B. Anthony, Jaromir Jagr, Galileo Galilei
16. John McEnroe, Sony Bono, Ice-T
17. Michael Jordan, Jim Brown, Chaim Potok
18. Yoko Ono, Vanna White, Matt Dillon, John Travolta
19. Justine Bateman, Eddie Arcaro, Smokey Robinson
20. Bobby Unser, Cindy Crawford, Peggy MacGregor
21. David Geffen, Barbara Jordan
22. George Washington, Julius Erving, Drew Barrymore
23. Peter Fonda
24. Joe Lieberman, Steven Jobs, Enrico Caruso
25. George Harrison, Sally Jessy Rafael
26. Michael Bolton, Tony Randall, Lucille Eddings
27. Chelsea Clinton, Elizabeth Taylor, John Steinbeck
28. Eric Lindros, Mario Andretti, Bernadette Peters
29. Jimmy Dorsey

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Please visit our Sponsor
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Navy Chips
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Air Monkey

A fellow walked into a pet store and was looking at the animals on
display. While he was there, a Master Chief Petty Officer from the local
Naval Air Station walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'd like a line
service monkey, please."

The clerk nodded, went to a cage at the side of the store and took out a
monkey.

He put a collar and leash on the animal and handed it to the Chief,
saying,
"That'll be $1,000." The Chief paid and left with the monkey.

Surprised, the fellow went to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very
expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did
that
one cost so much?"

The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that was a line service monkey.

He can park, fuel, and service all Naval aircraft, conduct all required
ground ops testing, rig aircraft flight controls, and all with no
mistakes.
He is also trained in all carrier flight deck ops. He's well worth the
money."

With his interest peaked, the fellow looked around and spotted a monkey
in
another cage with a $10,000 price tag. "That one's even more expensive!
What can it do?" "Oh, that one is a "Maintenance Supervisor" monkey.

She can instruct at all levels of aircraft maintenance, supervise all
corrective and preventive maintenance programs, supervise a crew of
maintainers, and even do most of the paperwork.

A very useful monkey indeed," replied the shopkeeper.

The guy looked around a little longer and found a third monkey in a
cage.
The price tag read, "$50,000". Holy crap! What does this one do?"

"Well, the shopkeeper said, I've never actually seen him do anything but
drink beer and play with his pecker, but his papers say he's a pilot."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

penguins
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z046.html

sugar daddys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z047.html

fly balls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z048.html

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Fiddle Chips
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An old sea captain, and a little
guy who played the fiddle, were
arguing about women.

The old sea captain tells the little
fiddle player that women can't be
trusted, and they will not be faithful
under any circumstances.

The little fiddle player said well he
bet his wife would not do anything
like that.

So, the old sea captain said he would
bet his ship and cargo against the
fiddler player's violin that she would
be unfaithful.

The fiddle player took the bet, and invited
the sea captain over to his house, and
sent the two of them into the bedroom
while he waited outside the door.

A half hour went by and he heard nothing
from his wife, so he started singing to the
tune of Auld Lang Sine:

Be true, my love, be true my love,
It's only for an hour.
Don't screw, my love, don't screw, my love,
And the ship and cargo's ours.

She sang back to him:

Too late, my love, too late, my love,
He's got me round the middle,
He's screwed me once, he'll do it twice,
And you've lost your damned old fiddle!!!

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Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hot young ladies are talking one afternoon about
the weekend just past. The first named Faba, and the second, Mujo,
discussed Faba's last date:

"You know what Mujo, I was out last night with an intellectual type, "
Faba declared.

"What's that? What's do you mean intellectual type?" Mujo asked with
curiosity.

"Well, I mean I was dating a man who is very intellectual and
intelligent," explained Faba to her friend.

Mujo giggles, and asked, "So, how was it?"

"First, he took me to dinner. Then he took me to a cinema movie. And
then he took me out for a drive. After all that, he took me to his
house. He began an intellectual conversation. And finally, he took out
his penis."

"What is this word, 'penis'," Mujo asked, unfamiliar with the clinical
terminology.

"Oh, it is what intellectuals have. It looks like a dick,
just much smaller !"

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A sergeant and two men from his platoon went to
a tavern near the base one night. The sergeant
asked an attractive army nurse to join him in a
game of pool.

The nurse said, "I would rather play with your
privates."

~~~~~

Little Johnny is wandering up and down the aisles
of a supermarket crying his eyes out.

"What's the matter fella?" asked a stock boy.

"I've lost my mommy!" wailed Little Johnny.

"Don't worry, we'll soon find her," soothed the stock boy.

"Now tell me, what's mommy like?"

"Bourbon and men with big, hard cocks,"
sobbed Little Johnny.

~~~~~~

A veterinarian surgeon had had a hell of a day, but when he got home
from tending to all the sick animals his wife was waiting with a long
cool drink and a romantic candle-lit dinner, after which they had a few
more drinks and went happily to bed.

At about 2:00 in the morning, the phone rang. "Is this the vet?" asked
an elderly lady's voice.

"Yes, it is", replied the vet, "Is this an emergency?"

"Well, sort of", said the elderly lady, "there's a whole bunch of cats
on the roof outside making a terrible noise mating and I can't get to
sleep. What can I do about it?"

There was a sharp intake of breath from the vet, who then patiently
replied "Open the window and tell them they're wanted on the phone"

"Really?" said the elderly lady, "Will that stop them?"

"Should do," said the vet, "- IT STOPPED ME!"

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Tool Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Girl In The Tool Room

My job is full of heartaches and no wonder I am blue,
It's terrible the awful things that I'm supposed to do.
And if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a virtuous miss,
I wouldn't have the nerve to even finish this.

I had no way of knowing the way the shopmen talk,
But now a dozen times a day my modesty is shocked.
The fellows crowd around me like a lot of crazy fools,
Until they have me dizzy handing out their gosh darn tools.

I don't mind the decent tools, like wrenches, drills and shears, But
what some fellows ask for makes me red behind the ears. The man
repairing bearings comes and asks to see my balls, And then he laughs
and stares at me until the next man calls.

They ask for cocks to fit on pipes, for counter bores and tits, And when
they ask me for a screw, it scares me into fits, They come and ask for
reamers to enlarge their small holes, They're driving me plumb crazy;
darn their rotten souls.

They ask me for a ratchet bit and for bastard files.
They always make dirty cracks as through the screen they smile. They ask
me for a female gauge, and it's a sad, sad, tale, Because I can't tell
the damn things from a male.

One fellow finds his tool too short, another is too long,
The next one says his tool is weak, another one's too strong. One fellow
asked me for waste to wipe a plumber's cock, And when I nearly fainted,
all he did was gawk.

A foreman looking 'round one day for tools to cut a slot,
Said "Open up your drawers, girl, and show me what you got." Another
came up to me as I returned from lunch, And asked me with a grin, if I
had seen his big prick punch.

And speaking of embarrassment, never shall I forget,
The day the payman asked, "Have you a monthly yet?"
Now how the hell was I to know he meant my monthly check;
By the time they saved him, I'd darned near broke his neck.

I hate to be a quitter, folks will say I lack the guts,
But if I stay another, day this place will drive me nuts.
I really want to do my bit, and that's no doggone bull
But you can have this tool room job; I've got my belly full.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
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Animal World

Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
http://www.yogakitty.com/index.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nun Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sitting behind a couple of nuns at a baseball game (with their habits
partially blocking the view), three men decided to badger the nuns in an
effort to get them to move.

In a very loud voice, the first guy says,

"I think I'm going to move to Utah, there are only 100 nuns living
there."

The second guy speaks up also and says,

"I want to go to Montana, there are only 50 nuns living there."

The third guy says,

" I want to go to Idaho, there are only 25 nuns living there."

One of the nuns turns around, looked at the men, and in a very sweet
calm voice replies. . . . . . .

"Why don't you go to Hell...... there aren't *any* nuns there!"

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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a young lady named Gay,
Who was asked to make love in the hay.
She jumped at the chance
And took off her pants,
She was tickled to try it that way!
______________________________________

In the shade of the old apple tree
I got all that was coming to me.
In the soft dewy grass
I had a fine piece of ass
From a maiden that was so fine to see.
______________________________________

A transvestite from Lyford-By-Tyme
Who was in court for a horrific crime,
Said, "Your honor, oh no!
It cannot be so
For I was a broad at the time.
<snagged by>
Ross

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo.She was wearing a
loose
fitting, pink dress, Sleeveless with straps.He was wearing his usual
jeans
and T-shirt.
As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed inFront of a
large,silverback gorilla.Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy.He
jumped
on the bars, and holding on with one handAnd 2 feet he grunted and
pounded
his chest with his Free hand.
He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink Dress.The
husband,
noticing the excitement, thought this was funny.He suggested that his
wife
tease the poor fellow someMore by puckering her lips and wiggling her
bottom.
She played along and the gorilla got even more excited,Making noises
that
would wake the dead. Then the husbandSuggested that she let one of her
straps fall to show a little More skin.She did... And the gorilla was
about
to tear the bars down.
"Now... Show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him," he
said.This
drove the gorilla absolutely crazy, and he started doing flips.Then the
husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage,
Flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut."Now...
tell
him you have a headache."Jim L

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult
*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-02-02T22:34:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

What lies behind us and what lies before us are
tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
OK, I confess, I'll give in.
I got All'timers disease. Has to
be. Man. I am in bad shape. I am
lost. Have been for a while. I mean,
this is February. and no snow on the
ground. Temperatures are so mild, you
walk outside inh shirtsleeves in the
afternoon. This CAN'T be West Michigan!
Not with this kind of weather. So, I'm lost!
I dunno where I am anymore.
All'timers!
GO FIGGER!!!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
CORDIALLY
Martin aka the postman
_______________

THE COMICS

diaper service
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z051.html

garage sale
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z052.html

yeast infection
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z053.html

swimming
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z054.html

problems in aeronomics
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z055.html

_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

babies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1472.html

Rocky the flying squirrel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1473.html

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an
exclusive jewelry store.
"Listen," said the shoplifter,
"I know you don't want any trouble either.
What do you say I just buy the watch and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip.
The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I
intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"
________________

A family was on its way to the hospital where their 16-year-old
daughter was scheduled to undergo a Tonsillectomy. During the ride,
the teenager and her parents talked about how the procedure would be
performed.
"Dad," the teenager asked, "How are they going to keep my mouth open
during the surgery?"
Without hesitation, he said, "They're going to give you a phone.
________________

A man picked up the phone and dialed. When a voice answered, he
asked, "Mother, how are you?"
"Fine."
"Sorry, I have the wrong number."
______________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Bvxxx, New matches!

2012-02-02T01:01:00.001-08:00

New matches!

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[buffalos-adult-chips] Buffalos Chips Chips For 2-1-12

2012-02-01T22:13:00.000-08:00

Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Before I get to the list of holidays for the month
of February I would like to mention that this is also
National Marijuana Month. I also would like to mention
that marijuana possession and use still violates a lot
of state and federal laws. Observe the law or you may
be celebrating Justice Awareness Month followed in
October by Prison Awareness Month.

In Michigan though they passed a medical marijuana initiative
in 2009. Since then there has been over 3,000, 000
claims of Glaucoma in Detroit alone. Oddly enough there are
only 891,000 people in Detroit.

I am back up and running and able to sit for an hour or so at a time
with
some coffee so I am ready to start publishing again. Buffaloschips .com
is down and may remain that way. The income on the site no longer
supports
its operation so it makes little sense to save it. Perhaps I can find
another publisher to supply content for the toons and movies but that is
a
future thing. I also have to find my Office CD so I can get a
spellchecker
working but I will try not to make any large errors. Thanks for all your
letters of concern and support, it is the one thing that keeps me coming
back.

February 1 is Serpent Day

February 2 is Purification Day

February 3 is Cordova Ice Worm Day

February 4 is Create A Vacuum Day

February 5 is Disaster Day

February 6 is Lame Duck Day

February 7 is Charles Dickens Day

February 8 is Kite Flying Day

February 9 is Toothache Day

February 10 is Umbrella Day

February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day and Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk
Day

February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day

February 13 is Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your Sweet Day

February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to Heart Day

February 15 is National Gum Drop Day

February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day

February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day

February 18 is National Battery Day

February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day

February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day

February 21 is Card Reading Day

February 22 is Be Humble Day

February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day

February 25 is Pistol Patent Day (Samuel Colt)

February 26 is National Pistachio Day

February 27 is International Polar Bear Day

February 28 is Public Sleeping Day

February 29 is National Surf and Turf Day

Have a great day Buff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A politician, who was very small-sized, was often
derided by an opponent, a tall, well-built man.

One day the opponent walked up to him, looked
down sneeringly and said loudly:

"You know, I could just swallow you up!"

"In that event," said the little fellow, looking up,
"you would have more brains in your stomach
than you'll ever have in your head!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a 31 year old friend that told me he never masturbates.
He goes and flaunts the fact that he is somehow morally
superior to the rest of us. He did admit however, that he has wet
dreams.
I feel that he is just lazy. He should be bragging that he can do it in
his sleep.
He's getting his z's and his o's at the same time.

Tom R

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

then and now
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z041.html

duck tape
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z042.html

cheatin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z043.html

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a
stiff
one - just had another fight with the little woman."

"Oh yeah?" said Charlie. "And, how did this one end?"

"When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and
knees.

"Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?"

She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking
buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He
tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their
upstairs
bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing
the
banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump.
A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing
especially
painful.

Managing not to yell, Flynn sprung up, pulled down his pants and looked
in
the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He
managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a
Band-Aid
as best he could on each place he saw blood. He then hid the now almost
empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed.

In the morning, Flynn woke up with searing pain in both his head and
butt
and Mary staring at him from across the room.

She said, "You were drunk again last night, weren't you?"

Flynn said, "Why you say such a mean thing?"

Well," Mary said, "it could be the open front door, it could be the
broken
glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood
trailing
through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly . . .
it's
all
those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ole Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lena and Sven got married in St. Paul. They planned to honeymoon in
Lena's aunt's cabin in Duluth. They caught a bus that was filled with
deer hunters.

About 30 minutes out of St. Paul the bus broke down right next to a nice
hotel. Sven said to Lena, "Lena, there's a comfortable hotel right here.
How about consummating our marriage?"

Lena replied, "No. I vant to wait till ve get to Duluth."

The repaired bus took off. Fifty miles down the road it broke down
again. This time it was next to a good looking motel.

Sven turned to Lena and asked, "Look Lena. There's a nice motel. Can ve
consummate our marriage?"

Lena said, "No. I vant to wait till ve get to Duluth."

The bus was repaired and off they went. Ten miles down the road the bus
broke down. This time they were our in the woods. However, there was a
little clearing out of the sight of the bus.

Lena turned to Sven, "I tink ve should go back into the voods and do
it."

Later when they returned the bus, Sven asked Lena, "Earlier ve vere next
to a nice hotel and you said "No". Then, ve vere by a motel and yousaid
"No". But, here ve vent out into the grassy voods and did it. Why?"

Lena said, "I vas listening to the hunters. They said if the bus broke
down again, the fucking season vould be over."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh Doctor!" said the young lady prior to her surgery, "Will the scar
show? "

"Not in church, madam," replied the doctor, "but anywhere else, it's
entirely up to you......"

~~~~~

A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to
work. The little girl asks, "Why do you call your secretary a doll?"
Feeling his wife's gaze upon him, the man explains, "Well, honey, my
secretary is a very hard-working girl. She types like you wouldn't
believe, she knows the computer system and is very efficient."

"Oh," says the little girl, "I thought it was because she closes her
eyes when you lay her down."

~~~~~

A friend and her husband were participating in a blood drive, and as
part of the prescreening process, an elderly volunteer was asking some
questions.

"Have you ever paid for sex?" the woman asked my friend's husband
sweetly.

Glancing wearily over at his wife who was trying to calm a new baby and
tend to several other children milling around her, "Oh yes", he sighed,
"Every time."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mary comes home from her date with Tom and is on cloud nine. She happily
tears off her clothes, tosses them all around the room jumps into bed
and falls fast asleep. The next morning her mom comes in and wakes Mary
up and says, " How was your date last night?"

"It was alright, I guess."

"It must have been a lot better than that," says mom, " Your panties are
still stuck to the ceiling."

~~~~~

An old man strode in to his doctors office and said, "Doc, my druggist
said to tell you to change my prescription and to check the prescription
you've been giving to Mrs. Smith."

"Oh, he did, did he?" the doctor shot back. "And since when does a
druggist second guess a doctor's orders?"

The old man says, "Since he found out I've been on birth control pills
since February."

~~~~~

While attending classes to convert to Catholicism, the Yuppie couple
learned they were to practice the rhythm method of birth control.

So they hired a three-piece combo for their bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Skidboot
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/V/Sk.html

We're Coming Home Tomorrow~
http://www.wtv-zone.com/Cruise_2000/ra/ComeHome.html

Brother Bob's Christian Poetry Potpourri.
brotherbob.christian.net

Gifts
http://www.reflectionsofsouthbreeze.com/Pages/gifts1.htm

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Surfin Surfari

Humor In Politics 5
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/politics5.html

Look Who's Talking 4
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/talking4.html

Apprentice Pilots:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_XWNKSTJLg

Hand Shadow - Raymond Crowe at Royal Variety Show
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAQxNVQF_I0

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Tech Links

Cods Gifs & Midis
http://members.tripod.com/~cod104/carol.html

Bios Beep Codes
http://www.computerhope.com/beep.htm

http://www.pcguide.com/ts/x/sys/beep/index.htm

Heart Maker
http://www.acme.com/heartmaker/

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+

Animal World

Kitty Korner
http://www.angelfire.com/nj/CatTail/Freya.html

Newborn Moose
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/moose.html

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
`

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trapper Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three guys from the North country all showed up at the Pearly Gates at
about the same time. Saint Peter came out to meet them and to ask them
some questions. He asked each one how they managed to arrive at the
Pearly Gates. The first one said, "Well, I'm a trapper and was out
checking my trap line. As I rode my horse along the edge of this
canyon, I heard a horse racing down the canyon below. I looked over the
edge and here came this man, stark naked riding his horse at full speed
down the canyon with his shirt held above his head and the wind blowing
it straight out behind him. I thought it was terrible that he was
flaunting himself so brazenly, not knowing if there might be some ladies
coming down the canyon, and since there happened to be an outhouse
setting there, I pushed it over the rim on top of him, killing him.
After thinking for a few minutes I realized that I didn't know the
circumstances and I shouldn't have caused the mans death. I was so
remorseful that I flung myself over the cliff in shame , And, Saint
Peter, that is how I got here." Saint Peter told him that since he did
show remorse, even though what he did was very wrong, he would let him
go on in to Heaven. The second man said, "Well, I'm a trapper too, and
I was running my trapline at the bottom of this canyon and I found a
very large angry skunk in one of my traps. Before I could get close
enough to club him, he sprayed me all over with his scent. I got sick
and was puking and almost unable to breathe, so I stripped off my
clothes, and took a bath in the creek, washed my clothes and since I
figured there was nobody within miles, I would ride towards home naked,
until my clothes I was holding over my shoulder dried. I thought if I
rode fast, the air would dry them faster. Then out of nowhere, this
outhouse fell on me and, Saint Peter, that is how I got here. Saint
Peter told him that since he didn't do anything wrong, that he could go
on in to Heaven. The third man said, Well, Saint Peter, I am a trapper
too, and I was riding along the rim of this canyon, looking for a good
place to take a crap, and all of a sudden I saw this outhouse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We know cunnilingus is grand,
But what I cannot understand,
Who was the first guy,
To give it a try...?
I think we should give him a hand!
_____________________________

There was an old Irish mick
whose cum was exceedingly thick
He could squeeze it out
And spray it about
But it stuck to the end of his dick.
_____________________________

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
So Jack could lick Jill's fanny.
Jack got a shock
And a mouthful of cock,
'Cause Jill's a fucking tranny!
_____________________________

There was a young student called Jones,
Who'd reduce any maiden to moans,
By his wonderful knowledge,
Acquired in college,
Of nineteen erogenous zones.
_____________________________

There was old guy named Lee,
Who was stung in the balls by a bee,
He made oodles of money,
By oozing pure honey,
Every time he attempted to pee.
_____________________________

Ross

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Within two weeks of moving into a new house, the homeowner had to call
an electrician, a roofer, a plasterer and a carpenter. One afternoon he
returned early from work and saw a plumber's truck in the driveway.
"Lord," he pleaded, looking skyward, "please let her be having an
affair."

~~~~~~

Driving my friend Bill and his girlfriend to the airport,
I passed a billboard showing a bikini-clad beauty holding
a can of beer. Bill's girlfriend glanced up at it and said,
"I suppose if I drank a six-pack of that brand, I'd look
like her."

"No," Bill corrected, "If I drank a six-pack, you'd look
like her."

~~~~~~

Q: Why did the blonde pee on the floor?
A: Because the sign said "wet floor."

Q: Why are coffins for blonde's shaped like a triangle?
A: Because every time their heads hit a pillow, their legs spread open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult
*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

------------------------------------

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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-02-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

If my mind can conceive it,
and my heart can believe it,
I know I can achieve it."

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Did I ever mention to you that the
War Department is somewhat technologically
challenged?

TRUST ME! ....s'truth !!!!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_______________

THE COMICS

penguins
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z046.html

sugar daddys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z047.html

fly balls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z048.html

daddy is home
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z049.html

gas
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z050.html
_________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Mexican firing squad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1470.html

dog and cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1471.html

A priest was taking a shortcut through an alley one day and
came upon a young boy who was masturbating. "My son, you shouldn't
be doing that," said the priest. "You should be saving that for when you get married."
The embarrassed boy hung his head down low and simply said, "Yes, Father."
About 10 years later, the priest was in his study when a young man
in his early twenties came in. "Yes, my son?" said the priest.
"Father, you may not remember me, but about 10 years ago you caught me
masturbating in an alley, and I'll never forget the advice you gave then."
"And what was that, my son?"
"Well, you told me that what I was doing was wrong and I should be
saving it for when I get married," said the young man.
"That sounds like something I probably would have said,"
said the priest. "Did you take my advice?"
"Yes I did, Father, but there's only one problem."
"What's that, my son?"
"Well, I have a 55-gallon drum of the stuff in the back of my pickup truck.
Now that I am getting married, what am I supposed to do with it?"
__________________

Two old ladies were sitting on a park bench complaining about their
husbands. "My husband's losing his mind," one lady said. "Last week
he went out and spent $400 for a waterbed."
"That sounds exciting," the other lady said.
"Exciting, hell," the first old lady said. "The way my husband's
thing has been reacting the last few years, that waterbed might as
well be the Dead Sea."
_________________

A parent decreed one Christmas that she was no longer going to remind
her children of their thank-you note duties. As a result their
grandmother never received acknowledgments of the generous checks she
had given. The next year things were different, however.
"The children came over in person to thank me," the grandparent told
a friend triumphantly.
"How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the
change in behavior?"
"Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign
the checks."

_______________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a Nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Funzines - Video Fun for February 2, 2012

2012-02-01T15:57:00.000-08:00

As many of you noticed, I am slowing down a bit this year. I am not

going to freak out if I don’t get some issues done. If you are missing your

Funzines don’t forget that I have a couple of groups that members post.

Go to my home page http://funzines.net and check them out!

Donate either by PayPal, gift certificate, or my home addy.

http://funzines.net/donations.htm

****

Big thank you to the most recent donors:

Ray (with cookies)

Bruce

James

Jack

****

For Fun and Games:

http://www.sextoyfun.com/dyanlyn

http://www.funzines.net/adultsonly.htm

************

http://funzines.net/amazon.htm

************

Check this out...........I have gotten some good stuff here.

http://funzines.net/dealoftheday.htm

************

Thank you,

Dyan

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-02-01T01:55:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMANS CORNER!

You cannot get the water to clear up
until you get the pigs out of the creek.
__________________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
A nice little break in the action and here
I am, back into it again. See, you just can't
get rid of me:)

The war department came home
from work this morning about 10 am, with the
worst case of the flu I have ever seen. I
cannot even remember the last time she has called in
or missed any work. I cannot even remember the
last time she had flu. I fed her 7 UP, and a little
applesauce, and a bit of dry white toast thru
the day and finally this evening she lifted her
head up off the couch. Apparently she must be
a little better, after she slept all day on
the couch, she managed to wander up stairs
at bed time to sleep in bed. If your child has
flu symptoms this winter, remember to feed him
white...applesauce and seven up are your best
choices. if they keep that down, then try a little
dry white bread or a bit of boiled potatoes.
Its what the doctor ordered.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

THE COMICS

then and now
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z041.html

duck tape
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z042.html

cheatin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z043.html

calling in sick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z044.html

concrete
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z045.html
_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Monty Python - Spam
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1469.html

trouble at the wedding
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1468.html

Lying in the hospital bed, the dying man began
to flail about and make motions as if he would
like to speak.
The priest, keeping watch at the side of his bed
leaned quietly over and asked, "Do you have
something you would like to say?"
The man nodded to the affirmative, and the priest
handed him a pad and pen. "I know you can't
speak, but use this to write a note and I will give
it to your wife. She's waiting just outside."
Gathering his last bit of strength, the man took
hem and scrawled his message upon the pad
which he stuffed into the priest's hands.
Then, moments later, the man died. After administering
the last rites, the priest left to break the sad news to
the wife. After consoling her a bit, the priest handed
her the note. "Here were his last words. Just before
passing on, he wrote this message to you."
The wife tearfully opened the note which read:
"GET OFF MY *!#%*!!**$%^! OXYGEN TUBE, YOU MORON!!"
_____________________

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was
flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man
walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"
"Sure," answered the blonde, "Do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck.
My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be
taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't
want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take
them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."
"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were
ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car, carefully
strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of
San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde
walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blond.
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."
"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde, "But we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."
_______________________

The husband was watching late nite TV, and his wife had gone to bed.
A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs
back to see what was wrong with his wife
He sees a guy leaping out of the window.
His wife yells, "That guy just screwed me twice!"
He says, "Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you Once?"
She answered, "Because I thought it was you -- until he started the Second time."
_________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Bvxxx, You have a new message from chriscoyne

2012-01-27T15:28:00.001-08:00

New message from chriscoyne

chriscoyne says:

Hey Bvxxx, Quick question: have you been happy with your experience on OkCupid? I ask because I... (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
Unsubscribe

Changes to Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service

2012-01-27T05:55:00.001-08:00

		Is this email not displaying properly? View it in your browser.
Dear Google user, We're getting rid of over 60 different privacy policies across Google and replacing them with one that's a lot shorter and easier to read. Our new policy covers multiple products and features, reflecting our desire to create one beautifully simple and intuitive experience across Google. We believe this stuff matters, so please take a few minutes to read our updated Privacy Policy and Terms of Service at http://www.google.com/policies. These changes will take effect on March 1, 2012.
One policy, one Google experience

Easy to work across Google Our new policy reflects a single product experience that does what you need, when you want it to. Whether you're reading an email that reminds you to schedule a family get-together or finding a favorite video that you want to share, we want to ensure you can move across Gmail, Calendar, Search, YouTube, or whatever your life calls for with ease.	Tailored for you If you're signed into Google, we can do things like suggest search queries – or tailor your search results – based on the interests you've expressed in Google+, Gmail, and YouTube. We'll better understand which version of Pink or Jaguar you're searching for and get you those results faster.	Easy to share and collaborate When you post or create a document online, you often want others to see and contribute. By remembering the contact information of the people you want to share with, we make it easy for you to share in any Google product or service with minimal clicks and errors.

Protecting your privacy hasn't changed Our goal is to provide you with as much transparency and choice as possible, through products like Google Dashboard and Ads Preferences Manager, alongside other tools. Our privacy principles remain unchanged. And we'll never sell your personal information or share it without your permission (other than rare circumstances like valid legal requests).	Got questions? We've got answers. Visit our FAQ at http://www.google.com/policies/faq to read more about the changes. (We figured our users might have a question or twenty-two.)

Notice of Change March 1, 2012 is when the new Privacy Policy and Terms will come into effect. If you choose to keep using Google once the change occurs, you will be doing so under the new Privacy Policy and Terms of Service. Please do not reply to this email. Mail sent to this address cannot be answered. Also, never enter your Google Account password after following a link in an email or chat to an untrusted site. Instead, go directly to the site, such as mail.google.com or www.google.com/accounts. Google will never email you to ask for your password or other sensitive information.

Bvxxx, You have a new message from cuteboy222010

2012-01-26T11:48:00.001-08:00

New message from cuteboy222010

cuteboy222010 says:

hi (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, we have great news!

2012-01-26T10:44:00.001-08:00

We have great news!

About you, Bvxxx:

Your personality:	Really great
How bad guys want you:	So bad
Your profile, as of 8 milliseconds ago:	Approved!

Check out our matching system. It's a no pressure, massive game of question and answer with millions of people at once. The more you answer, the better your matches will be!

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
Unsubscribe

Bvxxx, You have a new message from wittyone123

2012-01-26T03:43:00.001-08:00

New message from wittyone123

wittyone123 says:

Heyyy (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from deven_kolaveri

2012-01-26T02:36:00.001-08:00

New message from deven_kolaveri

deven_kolaveri says:

Hmm your husband knows this nasty stuff of yours ? :P (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from Delhi_travel

2012-01-26T02:31:00.001-08:00

New message from Delhi_travel

Delhi_travel says:

Hi.. (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from unlimited99

2012-01-26T02:28:00.001-08:00

New message from unlimited99

unlimited99 says:

Hi. May i know you? (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from yashrajchagaye

2012-01-26T02:08:00.001-08:00

New message from yashrajchagaye

yashrajchagaye says:

hellooooo (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from vivekT20

2012-01-26T01:43:00.001-08:00

New message from vivekT20

vivekT20 says:

hi (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from TheLeo4u

2012-01-26T01:16:00.001-08:00

New message from TheLeo4u

TheLeo4u says:

What about catching up over a cup of coffee on a lazy holiday like today? May be in khan market?... (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from sandysingh4u

2012-01-26T01:11:00.001-08:00

New message from sandysingh4u

sandysingh4u says:

hiiiiiiiiiiii XXX upps sorry dont know ur namee lol how r u ??? sandy here would u like 2 chat... (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from TheLeo4u

2012-01-25T11:47:00.001-08:00

New message from TheLeo4u

TheLeo4u says:

Hi! If you are online now, wanna have a chat? :-) (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
Unsubscribe

Bvxxx, You have a new message from gallantknite

2012-01-25T11:40:00.001-08:00

New message from gallantknite

gallantknite says:

Hi there! how you doing? i saw that we are 0 % enemies.... ..so i thought id say Hi! :) (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
Unsubscribe

Funzine - Adult Cartoons for January 25, 2012

2012-01-25T00:24:00.000-08:00

As many of you noticed, I am slowing down a bit this year. I am not

going to freak out if I don’t get some issues done. If you are missing your

Funzines don’t forget that I have a couple of groups that members post.

Go to my home page http://funzines.net and check them out!

Donate either by PayPal, gift certificate, or my home addy.

http://funzines.net/donations.htm

****

Big thank you to the most recent donors:

Ray (with cookies)

Bruce

James

Jack

****

For Fun and Games:

http://www.sextoyfun.com/dyanlyn

http://www.funzines.net/adultsonly.htm

************

http://funzines.net/amazon.htm

************

Check this out...........I have gotten some good stuff here.

http://funzines.net/dealoftheday.htm

************

Thank you,

Dyan

Funzines - Clean Cartoons for January 25, 2012

2012-01-24T23:17:00.001-08:00

As many of you noticed, I am slowing down a bit this year. I am not

going to freak out if I don’t get some issues done. If you are missing your

Funzines don’t forget that I have a couple of groups that members post.

Go to my home page http://funzines.net and check them out!

Donate either by PayPal, gift certificate, or my home addy.

http://funzines.net/donations.htm

****

Big thank you to the most recent donors:

Ray (with cookies)

Bruce

James

Jack

****

For Fun and Games:

http://www.sextoyfun.com/dyanlyn

http://www.funzines.net/adultsonly.htm

************

http://funzines.net/amazon.htm

************

Check this out...........I have gotten some good stuff here.

http://funzines.net/dealoftheday.htm

************

Thank you,

Dyan

Bvxxx, You have a new message from TheLeo4u

2012-01-24T20:35:00.001-08:00

New message from TheLeo4u

TheLeo4u says:

Dear Bvxxx, I am an eternal optimist. Therefore, though the profile match percentages are not... (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, Someone chose you!

2012-01-24T20:20:00.001-08:00

Bvxxx, Someone chose you!

TheLeo4u
41 / Male / Straight / Single
New Delhi, India

He's totally into you! Go send him a message. You got this email because he rated you 4 or 5 stars.

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from timepass0510

2012-01-24T11:15:00.001-08:00

New message from timepass0510

timepass0510 says:

helloo....Bvxxx..how are you? whats ur name? Kiran here tc...cheers!!!! (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, You have a new message from EnggBoy

2012-01-24T11:02:00.001-08:00

New message from EnggBoy

EnggBoy says:

hello...if u don't mind...can we share the talks (read more)

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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Bvxxx, Welcome to OkCupid!

2012-01-24T10:43:00.001-08:00

Welcome to OkCupid!

Hi Bvxxx,

Welcome to the best dating site on Earth! We know you're anxious to start using the site and checking out our millions of active users.

Our matching system is the best in business, and you can easily train it to find the best matches for you. You'll quickly find people who share your interests. And best of all, they're here to meet people like you. Start messaging, and meet someone new!

OkCupid © 2012 Humor Rainbow, Inc. 589 8th Ave Floor 11, New York, NY 10018
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[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-23T23:24:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

A fool shows his annoyance at once,
but a prudent man overlooks an insult

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It was the coldest winter ever.
Many animals died because of the cold.
The porcupines, realizing the situation,
decided to group together to keep warm. This way they covered and
Protected themselves; but the quills of
each one wounded their closest companions.
After a while, they decided to distance themselves one from the other
and they began to die, alone and frozen. So they
had to make a choice: either accept the quills of their
Companions or disappear from the Earth.
Wisely, they decided to go back to being together. They learned to live with
the little wounds caused by the close relationship with their companions
in order to receive the heat that came from the
others. This way they were able to survive.
The best relationship is not the one that brings together perfect people, but
when each individual learns to live with the imperfections of others
and can admire the other person's good qualities.
The moral of the story is:
Just learn to live with the Pricks in your life!

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

______________________

THE COMICS

a fourth one?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a006.html

drip dry
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a007.html

girl scout cookies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a008.html

Bob, where are you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a009.html

gullible
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a010.html
__________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Celtic Thunder
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1467.html

Ignited Digital Choir
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1466.html
___________________

Bob feared his wife Peg wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he
thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach
her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.
The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could
perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
'Here's what you do,' said the Doctor, 'stand about 40 feet away from
her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.
If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.'
That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the
den. He says to himself, 'I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens.'
Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
No response.
So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife
and repeats, 'Peg, what's for dinner?'
Still no response.
Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his
wife and asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?'
Again he gets no response.
So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. 'Honey, what's
for dinner?'
Again there is no response.
So he walks right up behind her. 'Peg, what's for dinner?'
'For God's sake, Bob, for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!'
__________________

Schwartz and Feldman, partners in the garment industry, had
just suffered through their worst season ever. Eight
thousand madras sports coats were hanging on the rack
unsold, and bankruptcy was looming closer each day.
Out of the blue, in walked a buyer from Australia. "I say
there," he began, "you boys wouldn't happen to have any
madras sports coats, would you? I've been looking for them
everywhere."
Schwartz said there MIGHT be a few left, and soon a deal
was made whereby the eight thousand jackets would be
shipped to Australia at a handsome profit.
"There is one thing though," said the Australian buyer. "For
an order this large, I'll have to get a confirmation from my
home office. I don't anticipate any problem, and unless I
send you a telegram by this Friday, the deal goes through as
planned."
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday passed slowly, with the
partners nervously waiting to see if the Australian would
change his mind. Friday morning went by without incident.
Schwartz and Feldman were closing up shop when, at five
minutes to five, there was a knock on the door: .....
"Telegram!"
The partners froze. Trembling, Feldman grabbed the telegram
and opened it. Suddenly, his face lit up. "Schwartz,
GREAT NEWS! Your brother died!"
_________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-23T04:28:00.001-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

Rain last night and this morning.
Fortunately it is almost 50 degrees
So it would have been pretty greasy
out there if the temps were lower.
It has managed to melt what little snow
we had on the ground. And in general
it has turned every thing to mud.
HAPPY MONDY!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
CORDIALLY
Martin aka the postman

_________________

THE COMICS

valentine card
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a001.html

musical chairs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a002.html

regrets
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a003.html

blow jobs and hair driers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a004.html

the secret
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a005.html

___________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

What a wonderful day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1463.html

lady sitters
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1464.html

love the taste
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1465.html

Three men are walking down the street. One is from California,
one is from New York, and the last is from St. Louis.
A good looking woman walks by ... the man from California states "She's about an 8."
The man from New York states "No, no ... she's a 6."
The man from St. Louis says "Hell no, she's a 1."
The two men look at the guy from St. Louis and turn to each other
and say, "Well, she was not that good looking."
All three continue walking down the strip. As chance happens
another woman walks by. She is more beautiful than the first.
The man from California exclaims "9"
The man from New York cries "8.5"
The man from St. Louis says "2"
The man from California and New York State, "I guess it takes all types."
Finally an extremely beautiful woman crosses their line of sight.
The man from California and New York simultaneously state "10"
The man from St. Louis states loudly, "3.5"
The man from New York asks the man from St. Louis, "What the hell
is wrong with you?" "Are you gay?" "She was beautiful!"
The man from St. Louis turns to him and says, "I'm using the Budweiser method."
The man from California asks "What is that?"
The man from St. Louis responds "The Budweiser method is to see how many
Clydesdales (horses) it would take to pull her off my face."

__________________

Once, a man from San Francisco died and went up to heaven.
At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter was waiting for him.
After reviewing the man's records Saint Peter said, "I see here
that you are a homosexual."
"That's correct" said the man "Is that a problem?"
"Well, It's kind of frowned upon up here but as I see you've led
an otherwise exemplary life I've decided to let you in. Follow
me," he said, opening the gate.
After a short walk, Saint Peter's keys accidentally fell on the
ground. He bent over to pick up the keys.
The gay man took one look and just couldn't resist, so he jumped
on St. Peter and did his thing.
Saint Peter was furious. "If you ever do that again, you'll go
straight to hell!" he yelled.
A few days later another guy from San Francisco arrived at the
Pearly Gates. St Peter reviewed his records and found that
he was also gay but, as before, he decided to give him a break and let him in.
"Follow me," he said.
They passed through the gates and once again St. Peter fumbled his
keys and they dropped on the ground. The gay man, unable to control himself, jumped on him and pumped away.
Saint Peter was even more furious than before, "If you ever do
that again, you'll go straight to hell!" he yelled
A week later a third guy from San Francisco arrives in heaven.
Once again St. Peter checks the records and once again he finds that
the guy is Gay. "Follow me," he says and they head off down the path.
Suddenly St. Peter spins around with a look of panic on his face, his hands flying up and down his robes.
"What's the matter?" asks the guy.
"I can't find my keys!!" cries St. Peter
________________________

Sitting in the bar George asked his 40-year-old buddy Johnny,
"How come you aren't married?"
Johnny: "I haven't found the right woman yet."
George: "So what are you looking for?"
Johnny: "Oh she's got to be real pretty, - a good cook and
house-keeper, and she's got to know how to handle money, a
really nice and pleasant personality is a must - and money,
she's got to have money...and a home, a nice big house, is
what she has to have."
George: "A woman like that would be crazy to marry YOU."
Johnny: "Oh, it's okay if she is crazy.
____________

That's all folks
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-21T22:35:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

We hang the petty thieves and appoint
the great ones to public office.
~Aesop
_________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Remarkable. So Newt won in South C.?
The Republican race for nomination against Barack O.
is turning out to be a slug fest. I wonder tho, as many
conservatives...do any of them have the ability to
defeat him? Perhaps it is possible, could the fight
for the candidacy so splinter the GOP that there may
not be any energy left to expend for the actual
race itself? For myself, I am not all that happy with
any of them as a choice for leadership. But at this
point, doesn't seem like that is much on the minds of
anybody right now. All anybody is talking about is who
is the best suited to defeat the opposition.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

THE COMICS

in the bathroom
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z036.html

frostbite
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z037.html

stop worrying
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z038.html

Agnes...
http://thepostmanscorner.net/z039.html

wait in the other room
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z040.html

_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

pool shot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1460.html

This Is Why You Shouldn't Eat Happy Meals --
Six Months of a Happy Meal's Eternal Life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1461.html

This cop does his job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1462.html
______________________

A travelling salesman on business in West Virginia met a young lady
in a bar, and invited her to his room. As she was disrobing, he said,
"Say, how old are you?" "Thirteen." she said. "Thirteen?! My God! You're
a child! Put your clothes back on right now and get out of here!" On her
way out the door, the confused nymphet paused, turned to him, and said,
"You're superstitious, right?"
________________

The newlywed wife wakes up her husband and says," Breakfast is ready.
You need to eat something before going outdoors to work on the barn."
He says, "All I want to eat is you."
And he does.
She throws away his breakfast.
He come in at noontime and she says,
"I fixed you a nice lunch to eat, since you didn't have breakfast."
He says, "All I want to eat is you."
And he does.
She throws away his lunch.
When he comes in late in the evening he finds his wife is naked
and sliding down the bannister, running back up the stairs, and sliding down again.
In total bewilderment he ask what she is doing.
She says, "There was breakfast. There was lunch. Now, I'm just warming up your dinner."

_________________

What's more profitable, a one-story whorehouse or a two-story whorehouse?
A one-story whorehouse, because there's no fuckin' overhead.

What is the difference between love and Herpes?
Herpes lasts forever.

What do blonde's like so much about tilt steering wheels in cars?
More head room.

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-20T23:39:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry,
show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

______________________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS

So, you made it to the weekend, finally. eh?
kicking back, watch a couple of dvds, hit back
a beer or two. what else is new and exciting in your
life? Not sure of that, But I can tell you what is old...
This weekend marks the 40th anniversary of Roe vs Wade.
It also happens to be the day that Jimmy Carter pardoned
all the Viet Nam draft dodgers.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________

THE COMICS

photography
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z031.html

you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z032.html

electrical outtage
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z033.html

cutting back
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z034.html

at the beach
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z035.html

_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Budweiser Donkey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1456.html

Sexy Bikini Nun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1457.html

GIRL ON TRACKS
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1458.html

Wife: Look at that Drunkard!
Hubby: Who is he?
Wife: 10 years back he proposed me & I Rejected.
Hubby: Oh My God, He is still Celebrating... Wow...
_________________

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans.
Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked
by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different..again.
Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan."
The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?"
Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican."
The teacher asked him why he's a Republican.
Little Johnny answered, "Well, my Mom's a Republican and my Dad's
a Republican, so I'm a Republican."Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked,
"If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan."
_______________

Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a
memento of some sort inside.
"Yes," says Sally, "a lock of my husband's hair."
"But Larry's still alive."
"I know, but his hair is gone."
_______________

Q. Did you hear about the GM mechanic that had a sex change operation?
A. He ended up changing his name to 'Ms. Goodwench'.
______________

Two guys are talking about their respective married bliss.
First guy: "My wife and always sort out our differences in a calm and
mutually agreeable manner."
Second guy: "My wife and I have arguments often, but always patch
things up - like my broken nose, my broken arm..."
______________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-19T22:29:00.001-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Instead of worrying about the worst that could happen,
Allow yourself to hope for the best that can happen.

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
A good friendship is like a flower garden. It needs attention and care. We
start by preparing the soil and then planting our tiny seeds. Our
friendships have foundations like the soil, and in them we plant seeds of
trust and understanding.

Like a garden, friendships need care and love in order to thrive. We nourish
friendships with visits, thoughtful favors, and trust. When we are feeling
down or in need of help, a friendship can offer us more than just beauty.

When we work at our friendships, they are not seasonal but bloom in any
weather, and they surround us with comfort and the knowledge that we have,
and deserve, love.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________

THE COMICS

artificial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z026.html

at the alter
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z027.html

at a bar somewhere....
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z028.html

an appointment
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z029.html

raw
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z030.html
_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

The Many D'ohs of Homer Simpson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1454.html

Very Funny Fart in Gym
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1455.html

A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.
The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely
nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him:
"Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just
have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."
"I know" said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
______________

Three Irishmen are sitting in the pub window seat,
watching the front door of the brothel over the road.
The local Methodist pastor appears, and quickly goes inside.
"Would you look at that!" says the first Irishman.
"Didn't I always say what a bunch of hypocrites they are?"
No sooner are the words out of his mouth than a Rabbi
appears at the door, Knocks, and goes inside.
"Another one trying to fool everyone with pious preaching and Stupid hats!"
They continue drinking their beer roundly condemning the vicar
and the rabbi when they see their own Catholic priest knock on the door.
"Ah, now that's sad" says the third Irishman, "One of the girls must have died."
_______________

When Obama died, George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates. He slapped
him across the face and yelled, "How dare you try to destroy the Nation I helped conceive?"
Patrick Henry approached, punched him in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to
end our liberties but you failed."James Madison followed, kicked him hard and said,
"This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"
Thomas Jefferson was next. He beat Obama with a long cane and snarled,
"It was evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence."
The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe and 66
other early Americans unleashed their anger on the radical, socialist leader.
As Obama lay bleeding and in pain, an Angel appeared. Obama wept and said,
"This is not what you promised me."The Angel replied, "I told you there would be
72 VIRGINIANS waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said? You really
need to listen when someone is trying to tell you something!"
______________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-19T04:17:00.000-08:00

The Postman's Corner

The passage of time is simply an illusion created by our brains.
Julian Barbour

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
We asked this question yesterday...
"So, what would YOU do if YOU won the lottery?"
These are some of your responses

if I won the lottery
I think that I would go places and take my love with me and
see some of the world the good lord has created.
Charles
________________

if I WON the lottery...
Well, I have a list of friends and relatives, and if the payoff is
large enough, I am giving each a million dollars to each
Good luck,
Joe
____________

if I won the lottery
for some obscene amount of money, I would first of all go into hiding
because I am sure that all sorts of unknown kinfolk would just pop up from everywhere.
Buying a company is a great idea! God knows we need jobs. It is kind of difficult to imagine
what to make that you wouldn't get undercut on though. I would buy a farm and get folks to
respect where our food comes from. The Chinese like pork and cigarettes so I would invest
a great deal of money in Phillip Morris and Smithfield. Not only would this help our trade
deficit. A lot of those Chinese doctors could go back home to help their people with the
side effects of our American way of life. Of course, there would be a place for charity but not
for the middlemen who siphon off a great deal of the till for themselves.
William
_____________

Lloyd
says he already won the lottery, spent it, and he is broke:)

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

__________________

COMICS

omg
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z021.html

Little Johnny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z022.html

worst thing in the world
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z023.html

exit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z024.html

rob the train
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z025.html

_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

trojan
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1452.html

Big Package - Funny McDonalds Commercial
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1453.html

caution: smoking can be hazardous to your health

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two
drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,
'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today..'
The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me.'
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says,
'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming up,' says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming right up,' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'
The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to
hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'

__________________

A man was driving recklessly down the interstate one day and his girlfriend
in the passenger seat was getting very upset. The man finally realized that
she was not happy with his driving and said, "Baby I'm sorry for driving so
recklessly; I should be more careful when I have precious cargo!"
The girlfriend looked at him and said, "Oh, that's so sweet, baby!"
Then the guy quickly corrected her, "No, no! I mean the golf clubs in the back!"
_______________________

A man was on a safari deep, deep in the jungle when he suddenly found himself
surrounded by fierce-looking natives! As they moved closer, he remembered an old trick he saw in a movie.
Quickly, pulling out his Bic lighter, he flicked the flame towards the leader of the natives.
Astonished, the leader jumped back several feet and gasped, "Wow! That's incredible!"
"You'd better believe it's incredible," said the man, all the while waving the flame at him.
"It certainly is," says the leader. I can't remember the last time I saw a
lighter that worked the first time you flicked it!"

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-17T21:34:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

"It is impossible to begin to learn
that which one thinks one already knows."
Epictetus

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So. you ever ask yourself what you would do if you
won the powerball, or in some other way you became wildly
rich, for once? First thing, most of you would probably
quit your job, right? Well, understandable, considering
you spend a great deal of each day there and it is not your
first choice. But you know what? After taking medical retirement
a few years ago, you know what I think I would do?
If I won the lottery and became filthy rich, I would probably
buy myself a company. That way I would have a place where I could go and
work and nobody would be able to say I couldn't because I was the boss. See
how fun that would be? I could set my own pace and work as my lung function
allowed. And if I was having one of those "bad days" I could just
sit there. Cuz lemme tellya folks, there is no fun in sittin around all day.
TRUST ME ... s'truth!!!
Folks, if you have a job today and are working, no matter what it is,
even if its taking out the garbage or cleaning the toilet. Be glad you have it.
So, what would YOU do if YOU one the lottery?

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_____________

THE COMICS

makes no sense
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z016.html

emergency room
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z017.html

Its Monday
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z018.html

reassurance
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z019.html

the big bang theory
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z020.html

___________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

The Scottish drinking song
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1450.html

Memories of WNEW Channel 5
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1451.html

A Canadian and an American were hunting in the Canadian
forest when a Mexican runs across a clearing.
The Canadian immediately shoots him in the back and kills him.
"You can't do that!", cried the American.
"No, no, it's legal here in Canada " replies the Canadian.
Later that night the American goes and buys some beer and puts it on the
roof of his truck to open the door.
Just then a Mexican runs by, grabs the beer off the roof, and runs away.
The American thinks, "No problem" then he shoots him in the back and kills him.
As he is retrieving his beer, the police come and arrest him.
"But I thought it was legal to shoot Mexicans here in Canada !" protests the American.
"Well yeah," says the cop, "but you can't use Bait."
__________________

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter,
a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day....
About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive,
mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling
obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart.
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins.
The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?'
So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe
anyone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work
______________

Hurrying to finish her shopping, a young woman slipped on the wet
pavement and fell to the ground. A passing vicar helped her to her
feet, saying, "This is the first time I have picked up a fallen
woman!" To which she replied, "And sir, this is the first time I have been
picked up by a man of the cloth."
________________

An attractive young med student was having coffee with her girlfriend
and complaining about her fiancee's extraordinary sexual appetite. "I
barely have the strength to come to work in the morning," she
murmured. "And now that he's on his vacation, things will probably be
even more intense when he gets back."
"How long is he off?" the assistant inquired.
"It varies," she replied. "But usually it's just long enough to smoke
a cigarette."
____________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman'S Corner

2012-01-17T04:18:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Nothing great will ever be achieved without great men,
and men are great only if they are determined to be so.
Charles de Gaulle

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS
I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes about 6 years ago.
I do my best, but the process of a strict diet can be out of reach,
impossible at times. There may be a season of being a good boy and
counting carbs like I should, or the other day when I sat down to eat
her home made pizza and ate enough of it to feed the entire german
army that invaded Stalingrad during www2. She said what she thought
and she knows I am a pizza fanatic. "well you know that is not
exactly a good thing to do."
"Well if I should not have it, why did you make it for me?"
"Well its your choice on what to do I'm just saying that to me,
I might be making a choice that is a little more intelligent."
Now THAT is something I've never imagined before. I mean think about
it. "Do you really think that there could be a problem with people
walking around thinking that I am intelligent?"
She had no more comment while I ate the 14 or 20 slices.enjoyed
every one of them. I did notice however, that she was still trying
to control her chuckling, even as I finished the 14th piece:)
Nope, intelligence, and the postman? kindof an oxymoron
TRUST ME s' truth

ps...I slept in a sugar induced haze for a couple hours nap afterwards
too...it was wonderful:)

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_________________

THE COMICS

information
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z011.html

eye contact
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z012.html

a bedtime story
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z013.html

you are right, Billy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z014.html

would you believe
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z015.html
________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

enjoy winning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1448.html

stay in que
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1449.html

The waitress was tired of this one biker always hitting on her, so she
came up with a plan.
"I'll tell ya what, stud. I'll have sex with ya on two conditions.
First, it'll cost ya 50 bucks. Second, you have to guarantee me that
bells will ring and lights will flash."
He smiled, handed her $50 and led her over to the pinball machine.
______________

The girl is off full of excitement and anxiety, and Mom waits
and waits until just after midnight when she's back.
"How was it?" asks mom.
"Oh mom, it was absolutely fantastic, and I think I'm in love!"
"Lets not go too fast dear. And did he tried to come too close?"
"Well, yes, he did and I did as you said and he was absolutely careful not to hurt or harm me!"
"What do you mean careful, did you let him do something?"
"Not exactly mom, see it was like that. First he wanted to kiss me andI told him what you said, and he stopped.
Then he went to touch my breast and again I told him what you said, and he stopped.
Then he slowly went under my skirt close to the private part, and I told him
what you said, and he then took his hands out and said; "What a coincidence, I happen to have a nice piece of
"Fillet" and would love to put it in your "Grill" to cook!!"
"WHAT?!?" screams the mother, "I knew that bastard is no different to the others.
You hopefully stopped him there too, didn't you?"
"Well, not really mom. You see, he promised to be careful and was very careful not to "burn" his fillet.
Every now and then he took it out and had me "taste it" to see if it was cooked or not."
______________

Dirty Johnny is delivering newspapers...
He knocks on a door, a lady answers, and he says, "Collecting... that'll be five dollars."
She says, "I'm a little short on cash, but if you want, I'll give you sex instead."
Johnny says, "All right."
He walks in, she undoes his pants, pulls them down, and there's the
biggest dick she's ever seen. Johnny reaches into his shirt pocket,
pulls out a handful of huge washers, and starts sliding them onto his dick. She says,
"You don't have to do that...I can take all of it."
He says, "Not for five bucks you can't."
_______________

I met a fairy today that said she would grant me one wish.
"I want to live forever," I said.
"Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!"
"Fine," I said, "then I want to die after Congress gets their heads out of
their asses!"
"You crafty bastard," said the fairy.

____________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
MARTIN AKA THE POSTMAN

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner (Monday)

2012-01-15T22:52:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

If you have a garden and a library,
you have everything you need.
Marcus Tullius Cicero

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, republicans, is Romney going to be the ticket
this year? He seems to grow in power and following every day,
Perhaps not my favorite, and a little more liberal a choice
for me, but I suppose I can live with it. I refuse to be a
card carrying Republican, so I cannot complain about who is
chosen for the nominee. In all my voting years, tho,
the only democrat I ever voted for was Jimmy Carter.
You know what is interesting? George W. Bush has had
no comment on who he endorses. In fact, I get the feeling nobody
has asked him either. Maybe nobody cares what he thinks?
GO FIGGER

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

___________

THE COMICS

wrong hole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z006.html

caution
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z007.html

delicious
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z008.html

chocolate
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z009.html

glass of water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z010.html
_________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

the miracle of plastic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1446.html

dirty bastard
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1447.html

Dave was   staring sadly into his pint and sighed heavily.
"What's up Dave" asked the   Landlord
"It's my four   year old son" the man replied.
"Don't tell me, he's in trouble for   fighting in school?
my lad's just the same forget about it, it   happens to boys that age" said the landlord, sympathetically.
" I only   wish it was that" continued the customer, " but it's
far worse than   that. The little bastard has got our gorgeous 18 year old next door   neighbor pregnant."
"Get away, that's impossible!" gasped the landlord
"It's not" said the man "the little shit stuck a pin in all my   condoms"
______________

On the first day of the school term the shop teacher was surprised to
see a rather proper-looking young lady sitting in the front row of his
classroom. Her name was Emily and she was the only girl to sign up for the woodwork class.
The bemused teacher asked her if she was sure she was in the right
class. Emily assured him that she was.
The teacher, still somewhat puzzled, added, "This course may be a
bit out of your league. Do you have any experience at all working with tools?"
"What exactly do you mean?" Emily asked.
"Well, for example, do you know the difference between a nail,
a screw and a bolt?" the teacher expounded.
After pondering for a moment, Emily admitted, "I can't really say,
since I've never been 'bolted' before."
__________________

A   woman is in bed with her lover who also happens
to be her husband's best   friend. They make love for
hours, and afterward they're just lying there,   enjoying
the nearness of each other.
The phone rings, and because it's   the woman's house, she reaches over and picks up the receiver.
Her lover   looks over and listens, only hearing her
side of the conversation. She is   speaking in a cheery voice.
"Hello? Oh, hi! So glad you called. Really.   That's wonderful!
I'm so happy for you. Sounds terrific. Great! Thanks!   Okay. Buh-bye."
She hangs up the phone and her lover asks, "Who was   that?"
"Oh," she replies, " that was my husband telling me what
a   wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

Funzines - Video Fun for January 15, 2012

2012-01-15T17:15:00.000-08:00

As many of you noticed, I am slowing down a bit this year. I am not

going to freak out if I don’t get some issues done. If you are missing your

Funzines, don’t forget that I have a couple of groups that members post.

Go to my home page http://funzines.net and check them out!

Donate either by PayPal, gift certificate, or my home addy.

http://funzines.net/donations.htm

****

Thank you to the most recent donors:

Ray (with cookies)

Bruce

James

Jack

****

For Fun and Games:

http://www.sextoyfun.com/dyanlyn

http://www.funzines.net/adultsonly.htm

************

Check out the after Christmas sales:

http://funzines.net/amazon.htm

************

Check this out...........I have gotten some good stuff here.

http://funzines.net/dealoftheday.htm

************

Thank you,

Dyan

[PostmansCorner] THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

2012-01-15T16:12:00.001-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

GOOD Evening POSTMAN FANS
pretty busy day today so we shall
make it a short one.
enjoy!
Martin aka the postman

THE COMICS

Ted uses windows
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z001.html

photo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z002.html

only with you darling
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z003.html

its simple
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z004.html

simple logic
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z005.html
__________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

a happy dog
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1445.html

A Chinese guy goes to a Jewish guy to buy Black Bras, Size 38.
The Jewish guy, known for his skills as a businessman,
Says that Black Bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult
to buy them from his suppliers.
Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.
The Chinese guy buys 25 Bras.
He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty.
The Jewish guy tells him that they have become even harder to get
and charges him $60.00 each.
The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the Jewish guy's remaining stock
of 50, and this time for $75.00 each.
The Jew is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black
size 38 Bras and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me -
"What do you do with all these Black Bras?"
The Chinese guy answers:
"I cut them in half and sell them as Skull Caps to you Jewish guys for $200.00
each."
_________________

A Catholic priest, an Indian doctor, a rich Chinese businessman and an Italian
from New Jersey were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers in front of them.
The Italian from New Jersey fumed, "What's with those jerks? We're waiting fifteen minutes between shots!'
The Indian doctor chimed in, 'I don't know, but I've never seen such poor golf!'
The Chinese businessman called out, 'Move it, time is money!'
The Catholic priest said, 'Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him.
Excuse me, sir!' said the priest, 'What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?'
The greens keeper replied, 'Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters.They lost
their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.'
The group fell silent for a moment.
The Catholic priest said, 'That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.'
The Indian doctor said, 'Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague
and see if there's anything that he might be able to do for them.'
The Chinese businessman replied, 'I think I'll donate $50,000 to the fire fighters union in honor of these brave souls!'
The Italian from New Jersey said, 'Why the f*ck can't they play at night?
________________

At the end of the workday, one cowboy tells another, "That new bull nearly did me in today, partner."
"Oh yeah, what happened?"
"I was putting out the feed, when the sucker came charging at me like a locomotive from hell. He damn near got me!"
"So, how'd you get away?"
"The bull kept slipping. He slipped three times, and that gave me a chance to make it to the fence and jump over."
"Man, that's scary. If it'd been me, I woulda probably shit all over the place."
"I DID! What do you think that bull was slipping in?"

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-14T01:54:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

But, sir, I shall take the path of
duty and shall not swerve from it.
Benjamin F. Wade

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Yesterday came and went without incident.
Unremarkable since most days do without major
trauma. However, did you notice yesterday was
Friday the 13th? I did not realize it until the
afternoon when I stumbled across a readers email,
wonder why u would remind someone of that?
Merry Friday the 13th? sorta like Merry Christmas?

Oh well. Yesterday also came and went with out the
materialization of the major snow event that the weather
guys were saying it was gonna be.We got maybe 3 or 4
inches of fluff at the most. My pappy always
went to the farmers alamac for the days weather.
More often than not, it was more reliable.

Nothing will ever compare to the winter of '81.
that was a real blow out and I got stuck in a snow drift
for over 8 hrs. I was on the clock in a company vehicle.
and my employer refused to send a tow truck for me
and said he would come out in the morning himself, since
he did not want to pay tow fees. it was ok because I was
on the clock and I had a good amount of coffee and food
in the vehicle, so I didn't suffer. He probably paid
me more in wages than it would have cost in the towing.
GO FIGGER

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

________________

THE COMICS

sleep walking neighbor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y076.html

thank you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y077.html

the size of it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y078.html

ebay opportunity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y079.html

not faking it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y080.html
_________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

caught in the dressing room
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1441.html

the electric fence
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1442.html

automated
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1443.html

pussy cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1444.html

A hunter walking through the jungle, found a huge, dead
dinosaur, with a pigmy standing beside it. Amazed, he asked,
"Did you kill that?"
The pigmy said, "Yes."
The hunter asked, "How could a little bloke like you kill
a huge beast like that?"
The pigmy said, "I killed it with my club."
The astonished hunter asked, "How big is your club?"
The pigmy replied, "There are about two hundred of us."
_____________

The counselor was helping the kids put their stuff away on their
first day in summer camp. He was surprised to see one of the youngsters had an umbrella.
The counselor asked him, "Why did you bring an umbrella to camp?"
The kid answered, "Didn't you ever have a mother?"
_______________

A fellow from the city was driving through the country one day when
he came upon a quaint farmhouse alongside of the road - and there
was even a farmer standing out front. So the city boy decided to stop and talk to the farmer.
"Good morning, sir," he said, "I was driving by, admiring the country,
'cause I'm a city boy, and I couldn't help but notice that you have a field
full of cows on your farm. Now I've lived in the city all my life and
I've never tried any fresh country milk. If it's all right with you,
I'd like to try some fresh country milk from your cows."
The farmer replied, "Son, those are bulls! You don't get milk from bulls!!"
And the city boy said, "But I won't hurt your cows. All I want to do is to try some fresh country milk."
The farmer had to try again, "Son, those are BULLS!! You don't get milk from BULLS!!!"
But the city boy persisted, "Really, I won't hurt your COWS!
I just want to try some fresh country milk!!"
So the farmer reluctantly gave in, "Son, knock yourself out."
In a half an hour the city boy returned from the fields carrying a pail
of fresh country milk. The farmer scratched his head and started to speak,
but the city boy jumped in with, "You know, while I was out in the field
getting this lovely fresh country milk, I saw a fence covered with honeysuckles.
And you know, I've been city boy all my life and I've never had any fresh
country honey. If it's all right with you, I'd like to try some fresh country honey from your honeysuckles."
And the farmer replied, "Son, honeysuckles are flowers. You get honey from bees."
But the city boy persisted, "I won't hurt your flowers. I just want to try some fresh country honey."
So the farmer tried again, "Son, honey comes from BEES!"
But the city boy was adamant, "Really, I won't hurt your FLOWERS!
I just want to try some fresh country honey!!"
And the farmer reluctantly gave in again, "Son, be my guest."
In a half an hour the city boy returned with 2 mason jars full of honey.
The farmer scratched his head harder than before and started to speak.
Just then the city boy said,"You know, I'm a city boy - been a city boy all my
life. Now while I was out getting some of that fresh country honey,
I noticed that you also have a field full of pussy willows ..."
"Hold on son," interrupted the farmer, "let me get my hat."
_________________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-12T22:41:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

To forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.
Friedrich Nietzsche

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS

Perhaps one of the simplest ways to change your mood or mental outlook is to remind
yourself of all the good things in your life. Reflecting on how far you have come,
what you have already accomplished, and what you have learned, can be very encouraging.
Appreciating your dearest friends, your closest family members, your favorite possessions
and of course yourself can bring a smile to your face.
If you need a lift or an attitude adjustment, try to appreciate and reflect on the good
things. Count your blessings. It can be done anytime and any place

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman

_______________

THE COMICS

one day on a walk
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y071.html

oh oh
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y072.html

nuclear power
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y073.html

a good question
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y074.html

rimming
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y075.html
_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

yoga cat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1438.html

wheel of fortune
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1439.html

Best of Comedy Central Roasts-Greg Giraldo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1440.html

Ole and Lena are sixty-nining when Ole says,
"Lena did you know there are 117,000 musk-ox in Alaska?"
Lena says, "No, I didn't. Gee, you're smart."
Ole says, "And Lena, did you know there are 482,000 grizzly bears living in Alaska?"
Lena says, "No I didn't. Gee, you're smart."
Ole says, "And Lena, did you know there are over 2,000,000 caribou living in Alaska?"
"No", says Lena sort of wondering how this conversation came about in the middle of their sex
play. "How did you get so smart?"
Ole says, "Remember last winter when we ran out of toilet paper and we had to use the pages out of
magazines?" "Yes, I remember," says Lena.
"Well, you still have page 63 of the National Geographic stuck to your ass."
___________________________________

This blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup.
So, she peels it off and starts screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"
The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a mini-van."
But the blonde keeps screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home."
Finally, the manager comes over and says, Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't possibly
have won a motor home, because we didn't have that as a prize!"
The blonde says, "No, it's not a mistake. I've won a motor home!"
So, she hands the ticket to the manager and he reads, WIN A BAGEL
__________________

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all
of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the
helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a
building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.
After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped
determine their position in Seatle.
The pilot responded "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their
help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."
______________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-11T23:53:00.000-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

Without God, democracy will not and cannot long endure.
Ronald Reagan

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!

FROM:
THE IMVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

US Marines Rescue Taliban Sex Slaves

We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________________

THE COMICS

a bailout
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y066.html

a traffic cop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y067.html

first date
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y068.html

the code
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y069.html

Mr. Whipple
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y070.html

_______________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

to be a republican
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1434.html

Budlight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1435.html

funny pics
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1436.html

Doritos
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1437.html

A penis is a splendid thing; you ladies should be jealous.
An organ with such lovely skin, it's smooth and mostly hairless.

It starts to grow so quickly when a guy's about thirteen,
His testicles on either side, his willy in between.

It dangles neatly down below; it's softly warm and loyal.
But at the slightest hint of lust, it's ready to uncoil.

It seems to have a mind all of its own; it's like an untamed beast,
It squirms and writhes and stretches out, just when you 'spect it least.

Sometimes, yes, it misbehaves, erecting when it shouldn't.
A bumpy train ride sets it off, and then I wish it wouldn't.

During summer, wearing little, sunning on the beach,
A glimpse of wobbly boobs or bums will make it squirm and reach.

But handle it with love and care, for it will give great pleasure.
I often check if it has grown - now when did I last measure?

Some men will fret about their size: they give it lots of thought;
Is seven inches long enough? It makes them quite distraught.

They sneak a look in toilets, wondering what they'll see,
But if another glances back at them, there's no way they can pee!

Masturbating is a sin - at least some folks believe.
That's just some old wives' tale, 'cause it really can relieve.

Without this super organ, no shag would be complete.
Lesbians can try their best, but must admit defeat.

It has some splendid functions, I'm sure you will agree:
To start a whole new life, and more than that - to pee!

But what seems most amazing about my one-eyed flute,
Whatever it is doing, it knows which juice to shoot.

And better yet, it stays with one, until one's old and frail.
Don't take it out in public though, or you'll be thrown in jail.
______________________

Two Women were chatting in the house. Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?"
Woman 2: "Yes."
Woman 1: "Was it good?"
Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... My husband came home, ate his dinner
in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes,
rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"
Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a
romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home
he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We
then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked
for an hour. It was like a fairytale!"
- - - - -
At the same time, their husbands were talking at work. Husband 1:
" You wanted sex last night, how was it?"
Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate,
screwed my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?"
Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because
they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had
to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't
have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour --
and when we got home, remember there was no electricity, so I had to
light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it
up for an hour and then I couldn't come for another hour. After I finally
did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was
jabbering away for another damn hour."
____________

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

__._,_.___

__,_._,___

[buffalos-adult-chips] buffalo says

2012-01-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

Good morning to all of our readers. My Vista computer that I prepare the lists
on is free of malware but between various power failures and having to shut the
power off during freeze-ups, I have lost my hard drive. I have a spare hard drive
and an XP computer but I will busy till this weekend before I can make repairs.
I would use the Windows 7 computer but Windows Live Mail and I are not getting
along well and Outlook 2003 had problems with sending mail..

I am just passing this along because I know there are many that get concerned
when they don't hear from me for a couple of days and I wanted t set your minds
at ease. WE will be back.

Although I did have my address backed up and jokes are never a problem I did
lose all of the material for LynnLynn's Katie's Kolumn. I know how much work
went into those pages and BJ's stories so if Melva , Shangy, and Judy could
resend their latest, it would be appreciated.

buffalo

__._,_.___

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__,_._,___

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner

2012-01-10T22:48:00.001-08:00

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

If the rich could pay people to die for them,
the poor could make a wonderful living.

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
CHICAGO (AP) Smoking a joint once a week or a bit more
apparently doesn't harm the lungs, suggests a 20-year study
that bolsters evidence that marijuana doesn't do the kind of
damage tobacco does.

According to this study then, I wonder if I can get a medical permit for marijuana to treat my emphasyma?
Now that Michigan offers health permits for its medical use,
I'm sure that would be a good thing, right?

Did you know this is National Puppy Week?
Check out these puppies.

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________

THE COMICS

12%
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y061.html

gettin it up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y062.html

sad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y063.html

the basketball
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y064.html

one pill
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y065.html

________________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Dutch cell phone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1431.html

money shouldnt buy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1432.html

fishing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/a1433.html

They enjoyed each other's company very much and at the end of the
eveningSuzi invited Joe to her place, where they quickly got
involved in a verypassionate and energetic session in bed together.
Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and
snuggled up close to each other.
After a short while, Suzi began tenderly stroking Joe's manhood.
Surprised but appreciative, Joe comments, "Surely you can't be ready for more?
Suzi replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic,
and I miss the days when I had mine... "
________________

Mary and Sue were always trying to get the other's goat and
today they were meeting for lunch.
Mary noticed that Sue was walking bowlegged and asked what the problem was.
Sue replied, "Oh nothing. It's just that my
husband is so big, I just can't take it."
Mary replied, "I know. I know."
________________

Q: Why are women like parking spaces?
A: The best ones are taken and the rest are disabled!

Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A. The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your mouth is moving.

"My girlfriend can't have orgasms during sex....but it's not a problem, because I can"
______________________

"My but you look different today Claudia." commented Rene
to her co-worker.
"Your hair is extra curly, and you have this wide-eyed look.
What did you use -- special curlers and some dramatic eye make-up ?"
"No !" replied Claudia. "My damn vibrator shorted out this
morning."
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The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I
don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place
'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, they guy reaches for his cigarettes But the girl,
thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile,
"Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!"
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM
Martin aka the postman

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